Text - Bitte korrigieren :)

[Cornel]

Guten Abend, Leute

Wäre echt super, wenn mir jemand mal diesen Text anschauen könnte und eventuell auch ausbessern würde


Will there still be schools and teachers in the future?


Scientists claim that in 20 years´time, it won´t give any schools and teachers. The reason for such a prediction is, that the computer is more and more used for education. Now computers are used in every school and all children have to know, how to work with them. I that this prediction could be true. I would be very uncommon.


In the last years have the people made a lot in this way. For example anyone had the idea to make a distance learning. Now it is a very popular way for adult people, which want to have an Abitur, if they cancelled their education in the past. They have the most of the time only via internet contact with their schoolmates and professors. The children at the day school have also more to do with the computers and the internet.


But I think that there would be a lot of negative things. Especially for the children which go now to the day school. They would be become unsocial, because then they wouldn´t meet other children. They would spend their whole time only with their computers. Moreover the professors would lose their jobs. The only one thing, which would be positive, ist that the parents wouldn´t have to pay the school books for their children. This is only very useful for adult people, which have a job, a own family or are living abroad. Because most of them don´t have time, to go every evening to the school.


To conclude, it would be sure a very interesting idea, but I think it would be better for the children, if they also go in the future to normal schools. There are even enough people, which have problems to have contact with our persons.


Vielen, vielen Dank schon im Vorraus für eure Hilfe


Ich wünsche euch noch einen schönen Abend
Cornel

[Cornel]

In der zweiten Zeile vom Text habe ich ein Wort aufgegessen.

I think this prediction could be true.

und in der letzten Zeile habe ich mich vertippt.

There are even enough people, which have problems to have contact with other persons.


Schönen Abend noch
Cornel

[Cornel]

Niemand Interesse den Text anzuschauen bzw. zu verbessern? Würde den Text nämlich unbedingt brauchen.

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Hi Cornel, dann will ich mich eben schnell Deiner erbarmen!

Will there still be schools and teachers in the future?


Scientists claim that in 20 years' time, schools and teachers will be a thing of the past. The reason for this prediction is, that nowadays the computer plays an increasingly important role in education. Computers are used in every school and all children have to learn how to handle them. I presume??? that this prediction could be true. I would be very uncommon.???? Beide Sätze verstehe ich nicht, sie sind nicht vollständig!

Within the last years, people have advanced rapidly on their way: e.g., someone invented distance learning. Now it is a very popular way for adults, who dropped out of school without graduating, to do their A-Levels. Most of the time they communicate with their schoolmates and professors via internet. Even schoolchildren have a lot to do with computers and the internet.

But I think that losing schools and teachers would have a lot of negative consequences. Especially for the schoolchildren. They could easily be become unsocial, because then they would not meet other children. They would spend their whole time only with their computers. Moreover, the professors would lose their jobs. The only one positive result would be that the parents would not have to pay for school books.

Distance learning is only very useful for adults with a job and maybe a family, or people who are living abroad, because most of them do not have the time to go to school every evening.

To conclude, life without schools and teachers certainly is sure a very interesting idea. I think it would be better for the children, though, if they went to normal schools. Even now, there are more than enough people who have problems with social behaviour towards other people.

Vielen, vielen Dank schon im Vorraus für eure Hilfe

Ich wünsche euch noch einen schönen Abend
Cornel

Relativsätze sind im Englischen nicht ganz so in Mode wie im Deutschen, oft sind sie auch nicht nötig. Beachte: bei Personen ist das Relativpronomen "who" oder "that", bei Gegenständen hingegen "which" oder "that".
Keine Kurzformen in solchen formalen Texten (Hausaufgaben).

Schöner Text, gut gemacht!

Grüße
Duckduck

[Cornel]

Danke, dass du mich Meiner erbarmen hast
Ich bin dir echt dankbar Und außerdem ist es außerdem auch gut zu hören, dass der Text gut ist
Da ich nächste Woche Schularbeit hätte, könntest du mir in den nächsten Tagen vielleicht noch 2 oder 3 Texte ansehen, die kürzer sein werden, als dieser?

[Cornel]

Könnte mir bitte vielleicht jemand diese Texte anschauen Und sie eventuell auch korrigieren?


Jessica and Adam met five years ago. She was working as a secretary in London. One day Jessica saw him, during she was buying something for the dinner. Then the young woman was looking for some seconds directly in his eyes and he began to smile. Adam was a university student, but he was doing a summer job as a programmer. He had come to the office where Jessica was working. As the man was leaving this place, he left a little message next to her computer. It was a small piece of paper where he wrote a time, the name of a caffee-house and naturally his phone number. If Jessica was seeing this paper she phoned immediately to him and they met at the same evening. Adam and Jessica liked each other a lot. She liked it a lot, that he was considerate and faithful, and the young man liked her because she was so honestly. One day a terrible thing happened. Jessica was hit by a car, if she wanted to go over the street. She was badly hurt. Six months later Jessica was OK again. Adam had helped her a lot, because he spent a lot of time with her.



Dir Sir,


I am writting to express my concern about the intention to build a factory in the near of our village.
Haldersham is one of the most beautiful and loveliest villages in Great Britain. It is a very peaceful and quiet place to live. The village is very attractive situated in a valley. There are everywhere a lot of fields and lakes in the surroundings.
There live a lot of people which lived before in London and other big cities. The reason for their movements were, that they have in Haldersham always a fresh air and silence. They have bought the houses for a lot of money, to have a higher quality of life.
If the politicans would allow to build there a big factory, the live of us will be changing dramatically. There would be always a lot of noise, the air would be polluted and the environment in this surrounding would be also destroyed. This village would become a very ugly place.
I don´t think that the other residents which live there, also want this. So let´s all tell the politicans what we think about this plans.


Yours faithfully,
xy


Wäre echt nett, wenn mir jemand diese Sachen anschauen könnte, weil ich nämlich diese Woche noch Schularbeit hätte

Vielen Dank schon mal für die Hilfe

PS: Wäre außerdem noch super, wenn mir jemand schreiben könnte, ob ich dieses Vokabel richtig übersetzt habe
get on (well) with (someone) - mit jemanden gut auskommen
Wünsch euch allen noch einen schönen Abend,
Cornel

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Könnte mir bitte vielleicht jemand diese Texte anschauen Und sie eventuell auch korrigieren?


Jessica and Adam met five years ago. She was working as a secretary in London, then. One day Jessica saw him while she was shopping for the dinner. Their eyes met for some seconds and he began to smile. Adam was a university student, but at that time he was doing a summer job as a programmer. By sheer coincidence, some days later he came to the office where Jessica worked. On his way out he left a little message next to her computer. It was a small piece of paper, on it were written a time, the name of a coffee-house and naturally his phone number. When Jessica saw it, she called him immediately and they met later that day. Adam and Jessica liked each other a lot. She liked him for being considerate and faithful, and the young man liked her because she was so honestly. One day a terrible thing happened. Jessica was hit by a car as she wanted to cross a street. She was badly hurt. Six months later Jessica was OK again. Adam had helped her a lot, because he spent a lot of time with her.

Ganz gut insgesamt, aber einige wichtige Punkte:

- "if" = "falls, für den Fall, wenn" (konditional)
"when" = "als, wenn" (zeitlich)

- Verwende das Progressive nicht zu oft, sondern nur, wenn Du auf die Dauer oder die Gleichzeitigkeit von Handlungen hinweisen willst.

- "during" = "während/in einer Zeitspanne" (Präposition) Bsp. "during summer"
"while" = "während einer Handlung" (Konjunktion) Bsp. "While she was cleaning,..."

- nach einer Form von "be" steht ein Adjektiv, kein Adverb: "she was honest"


Dear Sir(s),


I am writting to you to express my concern about your intention to build a factory in the near of our village.
Haldersham is one of the most beautiful and lovely villages in Great Britain. It is a very peaceful and quiet place to live in/at. The village is very attractively situated in a valley. There are everywhere a lot of fields and lakes in the surroundings.
A lot of people who used to live in London and other big cities have moved to live here. The reason for their decision was Haldersham's fresh air and silence. They spent a lot of money for their houses seeking a higher quality of life.
If the politicians would allowed the building of a big factory here, our lives would change dramatically. There would be always a lot of noise, the air would be polluted and the environment in this surrounding would be also destroyed. This village would become a very ugly place.
I am convinced that all people who live here/inhabitants of Haldersham share my concern. So let us all tell the politicians what we think about these plans.


Yours faithfully,
xy

- achte auf die Rechtschreibung

- "in der Nähe" = "near" sonst nix!!!

- Adverbien können auch Adjektive modifizieren "attractively situated"

- wiederhole die Relativpronomen! Personen -> "who" oder "that"; Gegenstände -> "which" oder "that"

- wiederhole die Zeitenfolge bei den if-Sätzen! Im if-Teil des Satzes kein would!!!

- keine Kurzformen in formalen Texten/Briefen

- "this" und "that" -> Einzahl; "these" and "those" -> Mehrzahl

Wäre echt nett, wenn mir jemand diese Sachen anschauen könnte, weil ich nämlich diese Woche noch Schularbeit hätte

Vielen Dank schon mal für die Hilfe

PS: Wäre außerdem noch super, wenn mir jemand schreiben könnte, ob ich dieses Vokabel richtig übersetzt habe
get on (well) with (someone) - mit jemanden gut auskommen Ganz richtig!
Wünsch euch allen noch einen schönen Abend,
Cornel

Grüße und viel Glück!!!
Duckduck

[Cornel]

Vielen Dank für die Korrektur, auch echt nett und hilfreich von dir, dass du mich noch auf bestimmte Dinge aufmerksam gemacht hast