Bitte um Korrektur eines Kurzreferats

[KickItLikeBeckham]

Hallo

Ich muss am Montag ein Kurzreferat in Englisch zum Thema: Yellowstone National Park halten.
Es wäre wirklich super freundlich, wenn ihr mein Referat auf Grammatik- und Rechtschreibfehler überprüfen könntet.
Vielen Dank schon einmal im Voraus.



General information:
Yellowstone National Park is the first National Park in the world and the oldest in the United States of America. It is a favorite sight for millions of visitors each year.
The Park is known for its wildlife and has got many geothermal features, especially the Old Faithful Geyser, one of the most popular features in the park. Since 1978, the Yellowstone National Park was declared to the world natural heritage.

History:
Yellowstone National Park was discovered in 1807 by John Colter. The Indians still lived in this area. When Colter came back to the civilization, his reports weren't considered. After the American Civil War the conservationists called the park a protected area, to protect the already displaced animals and plants. On 1 March 1872 the President signed the law, and created so the first national park in the world.
The name Yellowstone comes from the Minnetaree Indians. The Minnetarees called the area “Mi Tsi a-da-zi” which means “Yellow Stone”.In 1988, there was a big fire in the Yellowstone Park. You can still see the damage of the fire today. About 3200 square kilometres of nature have been destroyed.Landscape of the Park:
The National Park is located to 96% in Wyoming and a bit in the neighbour states Idaho and Montana. All these states you can find in the north-west of the United States near the canadian border. With 8927 squere kilometers, the Yellowstone National Park is one of the largest national parks in America. The park is located on the crater of the Yellowstone volcano, one of the super volcanoes. The magma chamber, which is 8 km deep, has got much geysers and mud pots. Especially popular is the geyser "Old Faithful" because he regularly spits out hot water.

Plants and animals:
The park is shrouded for 80% of coniferous forest , meadow (15%) and water (5%). The volcanic activity also characterize the vegetation.
There are a lot of animals in the National Park, too. There is a high diversity of species. In deeper areas, there are pumas and lynxes. In the higher areas are bighorn sheep and mountain goats. In the park are also wolves and grizzly bears. The bear attack on humans is very rare. In the park are 18 different fish species and 318 bird species, with rarer species like sea eagles and peregrine falcons.
Activities :
There are a lot of activities in the Yellowstone National Park like hiking, watching animals, picnicking, bicycling, fishing and boating. But theres a great shopping scene too.The Wildlife of the American West Art Museum is also very attractive to see.
Tourism:
Every year more than 3 million tourists are visiting the park. With the 5 main entrances, the visitors arrive on a roller-shaped main road. In the park, there are several campsites, hotels, restaurants and snack bars. The summers are warm with cool nights and a few thunderstorms. The winters are long, very cold and snowy.



Liebe Grüße,
KickItLikeBeckham

[choccy_hobnob]

Hallo KickItLikeBeckham! (Kickt der David eigentlich heutzutage noch so gut? Der ist doch inzwischen alt geworden... )

Dein Text ist dir wirklich gut gelungen, hier mal ein paar Anmerkungen von mir:

General information:
Yellowstone National Park was the first National Park in the world and the oldest in the United States of America. (Vielleicht etwas überflüssig? Wenn Yellowstone der allererste Nationalpark in der ganzen Welt war, hätte es zu der Zeit doch keinen alteren in den USA geben können, oder? Die USA gehört schließlich noch zu der Welt im Allgemeinen, obwohl es einem ab und zu anders vorkommt...! Vielleicht: "and is located in the United States of America.") It is a favorite attraction for millions of visitors each year.
The Park is known for its wildlife and has got many geothermal features, including ("especially" klingt irgendwie so, als wäre es irgendwie geothermaler als die anderen!) the Old Faithful Geyser, one of the most popular features in the park. Since 1978, the Yellowstone National Park has been designated a United Nations Natural Heritage Site.

History:
The area that would later become (ein Nationalpark war es damals noch nicht, oder?) Yellowstone National Park was discovered in 1807 by John Colter, when the Indians still lived in this area. When Colter came back (oder: returned) to the civilization, his reports of the geothermal features were dismissed as delirium. After the American Civil War, the conservationists named the park a protected area, to protect the animals and plants, which had already been displaced. On 1 March 1872 the President signed the law, and, in this way, created the first National Park in the world.
The name Yellowstone comes from the Minnetaree Indians. The Minnetarees called the area “Mi Tsi a-da-zi” which means “Yellow Stone”.
In 1988, there was a big fire in the Yellowstone Park. You can still see the damage caused by the fire today. About 3200 square kilometres of nature weredestroyed.

Landscape of the Park:
96% of the National Park is located in Wyoming, with a small amount lying in the neighbour states Idaho and Montana. All these states are located in the north-west of the United States, near the Canadian border. With 8927 square kilometers, the Yellowstone National Park is one of the largest national parks in America. The park is located on the crater of the Yellowstone volcano, one of the world's supervolcanoes. The magma chamber, which is 8 km deep, contains many geysers and mud pots. The geyser "Old Faithful" is especially popular because it (bis auf ein paar Ausnahmen wird eher "it" als Personalpronomen benutzt, wenn von einem Gegenstand der Rede ist) regularly spits out hot water.

Plants and animals:
80% of the park is covered by ("shrouded" ist ein Tick zu poetisch) coniferous forest, with a further 15% by meadow and 5% by water. The volcanic activity plays a large part in determining the vegetation.
Furthermore, there are a lot of animals in the National Park, too. There is a high diversity of species. In lower ("deep" wird in der Regel in Verbindung mit Flüssigkeiten benutzt. Ein Ozean ist "deep", der Boden ist "low") areas, there are pumas and lynxes. In the higher areas, there are bighorn sheep and mountain goats. In the park are also wolves and grizzly bears. Besser: "Wolves and grizzly bears are also found in the park." It is very rare that humans are attacked by the bears. In the park, there are 18 different fish species and 318 bird species, including rarer species like sea eagles and peregrine falcons.

Activities:
There are a lot of activities in the Yellowstone National Park, such as hiking, watching animals, picnicking, bicycling, fishing and boating. In addition to this, (ich wurde immer gelehrt, dass man keine Sätze mit "but" anfängt) there is (keine Kurzformen in einem formalen Text!)also a great shopping scene too.The Wildlife of the American West Art Museum is also very attractive to see besser: "is also an interesting place to visit, with many beautiful artworks".Tourism:
Every year, more than 3 million tourists visit the park. With the 5 main entrances, the visitors arrive on a roller-shaped main road Was meinst du damit?. In the park, there are several campsites, hotels, restaurants and snack bars. The summers are warm with cool nights and a few thunderstorms. The winters are long, very cold and snowy.

[KickItLikeBeckham]

Vielen, vielen Dank choccy_hobnob
Jetzt bin ich echt erleichtert, dass nochmal jemand über meinen Text geschaut hat.


P.S.
Naja, wahrscheinlich ist David Beckham nicht mehr so gut, über ihn hört man ja kaum noch was

Liebe Grüße und vielen lieben Dank,
KickItLikeBeckham

[choccy_hobnob]

Kein Problem! Wobei wir diese Sache mit dem "roller-shaped"-Satz doch noch nicht aufgeklärt haben - du hast nämlich geschrieben: "With the main entrances, the visitors arrive on a roller-shaped main road". Leider ist das nicht ganz richtig so - könntest du mal eine deutsche Übersetzung liefern?

(Was David angeht... naja, fußballmäßig ist er eventuell schon abgehalfert, trotzdem hat er die gute Victoria neulich zum vierten Mal geschwängert - der hat's also doch noch drauf! )

[KickItLikeBeckham]

Es tut mir leid, dass ich mich erst jetzt wieder melde.


"With the 5 main entrances, the visitors arrive on a roller-shaped main road" meinte ich, dass die Besucher durch 5 Eingänge auf einem walzenförmige Hauptweg ankommen. Aber ich habe den Satz beim Referat weggelassen, da er ja eh relativ unwichtig ist.

Das Referat an sich war jedoch recht gut

Liebe Grüße,
KickItLikeBeckham