Beziehung zwischen Chris und seinem Vater Korrektur

[saturn]

Hallo miteinander. Ich habe mal wieder etwas zustande gebracht , wobei ich mir nicht ganz sicher bin.

The relationship between Chris and his father is strained because Joe has made a mistake with which ( bei dem) died 21 pilots in the World War Two. Chris wants to go away from home because he cannot take ( make) the first step to his father and he cannot forgive him this mistake therefore Larry, chris`brother, has killed himself. Earlier he saw Joe as his father but now he cannot accept him as his father. Therefore Chris wants to go to Cleveland. The strain between the both you can notice as Joe comes in and Chris wants to go out. Joe wants to talk with his son but he does not want to. He blames Joe for this disastrous mistake. Chris has the opinion that Joe should will punish because of his mistake with defective airplane parts died 21 pilots. Joe has Larry on conscience. Chris know that his father is no worse than any other man but he thought that Joe would be better. The both are angry. As Kate , Ann and Chris are outside they hear a gunshot. They find Joe, who has killed himself. that was not Chris`intention and he weep over his father.

Vielen, vielen Dank im Voraus.
LG

[choccy_hobnob]

Hallo saturn! Boah, noch eine aufmunternde, fröhliche Geschichte zum Zusammenfassen, oder?

Dein Text ist dir wirklich sehr gut gelungen - trotzdem ein paar Vorschläge:

The relationship between Chris and his father, Joe, is strained because Joe has made a mistake (besser: "because of a mistake that Joe made") with which led to the deaths of (wenn der Fehler direkt zu den Toden geführt hat, dann eher: "a mistake which killed 21 pilots". "to die" ist intransitiv, kann also kein direktes Objekt haben, während "to kill" sozusagen das transitive Pendant ist: 'I killed him, as a result of which he died.' Klar?) 21 pilots in the Second World War. Chris wants to leave home because he cannot make the first step to reconcile with his father or forgive him for this mistake. Because of this, Larry, Chris's brother, has killed himself. Earlier, Chris saw Joe as his father but now he cannot accept him as his father. Therefore (oder: "As a result of this,") Chris wants to go to Cleveland. The strain between father and son is clearly visible when Joe comes in (arrives home?) and Chris (immediately?) wants to go out. Joe wants to talk with his son but Chris does not want to. He blames Joe for this disastrous mistake. Chris is of the opinion that Joe should be punished for the mistake with the defective airplane parts which caused 21 pilots to die. Joe has Larry's death on his conscience. Chris knows that his father is no worse than any other man but he thought that he (sonst klingt es so, als wären "his father" und "Joe" nicht ein und derselbe Mensch!) would be better (than every other man?). Both men are angry. While Kate, Ann (wer sind eigentlich Kate und Ann? Geh immer davon aus, dass der Leser gar keine Ahnung hat, wer wer ist!) and Chris are outside, they hear a gunshot. They rush inside, only to find Joe, who has killed himself. That was not Chris's intention and he weeps over his father.