Bitte kurz drüberschauen und ggf. korrigieren ;)

Sätze und kurze Texte, die korrigiert wurden
Sandra_2010

Bitte kurz drüberschauen und ggf. korrigieren ;)

Beitrag von Sandra_2010 »

Hallo zusammen,

musste nen kleinen Aufsatz über Vor- und Nachteile von fossilen Brennsotffen und erneuerbare Energien schreiben. Wäre nett, wenn ihn jemand korrigieren könnte!

Vielen Dank ;)!
Lg, Sandra




Fossil fuels and renewable sources of energy



Nowadays there is often a discussion about the energy consumption all over the world and about using renewable energy. A big problem ist that the availability of fossil fuels are limited, so we have to look for alternatives – the renewable sources of energy. There are a number of advantages and disadvantages of each sort that I would like to show you in my essay.



One advantage of fossil fuels is clearly that they are cheap, whereby the price is a relevant issue. Also fossil fuels are easy to handle. Bute there are disadvantages, too. I think the significantly problem is that they are unfriendly to the environment and that they create a high pollution. Another problem is that fossil fuels are limited, so we don’t know how much resources remain in a few years or for the generation to come. Moreover oil can be only found in a few areas of the world, like the arabian countries, so we are depandance to this states. And at last the coal is a big problem, because meaning is very expensive.



A probably alternative to fossil fuels are renewable energy, like water, wind or solar energy. There are also a few points for and against this sources of energy. One important per argument is surely that renewable sources of energy are environmentally-friendly. Furthermore they are to a certain degree unlimited and another reason for renewable energy is that we arent’t depandance to arabian countries, because these sources of energy are everywhere available. But there are also arguments against these sources, for instance the technologies are expensive and we doesn’t know if this is a realy alternative to fossil fuels.



To conclude there are a number of advantages and disadvantages for both sorts of energy. In my opinion it’s very important to research over and over again to find alternative energy and to reduce the energy consumption as soon as possible. The time to action is now and we should all be environmentally conscious and be part of the solution to protect our earth and our environment.

choccy_hobnob

Re: Bitte kurz drüberschauen und ggf. korrigieren ;)

Beitrag von choccy_hobnob »

Hallo Sandra! Dein Absatz ist dir wirklich gut gelungen! Die Pro- und Con-Argumente hast du sehr erfolgreich dargestellt. Ein paar Anmerkungen von mir:
Sandra_2010 hat geschrieben:Fossil fuels and renewable sources of energy

Nowadays, there are often a discussions about worldwide energy consumption all over the world and the use of renewable energy. A big problem ist that the availability of fossil fuels is (das Verb stimmt mit dem Subjekt überein - "availability" steht im Singular, das Verb muss also auch im Singular sein) limited, so we have to look for alternatives – the renewable sources of energy. There are a number of advantages and disadvantages to each sort, which I would like to show you (besser: "which I would like to outline") in my essay.

One obvious advantage of fossil fuels is clearly that they are cheap, which is important, as the cost is a relevant issue. Fossil fuels are also easy to use. However, they also have disadvantages, too. The most significantly problem, in my opinion, is that they are not environmentally friendly and that they produce a large amount of pollution. Another problem is that fossil fuels are limited, so we don't know how much of this resources will still remain in a few years' time, or how this will affect the generation to come. Moreover, oil can be only found in a few areas of the world, like the Arabian countries, so we are (besser: "which leaves us") dependent on these countries. And, finally, the use of coal is a big problem, because it is very expensive to mine. Ein wichtiger Unterschied: "meaning" heißt "Bedeutung", während eher "Bergbau" "mining" heißt. Ich gehe mal davon aus, dass du hier auf "mining" hinaus wolltest!

A possible alternative to fossil fuels is the use of (um diese ganze "Singular oder Plural?"-Verwirrung ganz geschickt zu vermeiden...) renewable energy, like water, wind or solar energy. There are also a few arguments both for and against this sources of energy source. One important per argument in favour must surely be that renewable sources of energy are environmentally friendly. Furthermore, they are, to a certain degree, unlimited. Another advantage of renewable energy is that its use would not make us dependent on the Arabian countries, because these sources of energy are available everywhere. However, there are also arguments against these sources. For instance, the technologies are expensive and we do not know whether this is really a viable alternative to fossil fuels.

To conclude, there are a number of advantages and disadvantages to both sorts of energy. In my opinion, it is (versuche, Kurzformen zu vermeiden, wenn du einen formalen Text schreibst) very important that we continue to research over and over again for alternative energy sources, in order to reduce our energy consumption as soon as possible. The time for action (oder: "The time to act") is now and we should all be environmentally conscious and be part of the solution, in order to protect our earth and our environment.

tiorthan

Re: Bitte kurz drüberschauen und ggf. korrigieren ;)

Beitrag von tiorthan »

choccy_hobnob hat geschrieben:
Sandra_2010 hat geschrieben: Another problem is that fossil fuels are limited, so we don't know how much of this resources will still remain in a few years' time, or how this will affect the generation to come.
Hier könnte auch etwas wie "so we don't know which [of the resources] will be available for future generations" gemeint sein.
Moreover, oil can only be found in a few areas of the world
Ich würde diese Reihenfolge bevorzugen.