Kurzaufsatz über erneuerbare Energien, bitte korrigieren

[Sandra_2010]

Hallo zusammen,

ich hatte schon seit 4 Jahren kein Englisch mehr und gehe jetzt wieder zur Schule. Wir müssen als Hausaufgabe einen kleinen Aufsatz über erneuerbare Energien schreiben und wie man Energie sparen kann. Hab jetzt mal nen kleinen Text geschrieben. Kann ihn bitte jemand korriegeren ?! Wäre sehr nett und würde mir wirklich helfen!

Vielen Dank !
Lg, Sandra

How can we save energy?

We all know that the availability of fossil fuels is limited, but the energy comsupmtion is so high how never before. So it’s time to take action to save the energy and use renewable engergy. Renewable energy sources are becoming increasingly popular and are used more and more, because more and more people are environmentally conscious and want to contribute to protecting the earth.
Many homes, who are off-the-grid use solar energy-systems for their own. . They also can save energy by buy energy efficient appliances and lighting, for instance modern light bulbs, which reduce the energy consumption by over 80 % over the older ones. Furthermore it is very important to insulate the houses well, e.g. the roof and the walls, so they will save a lot of energy.
But not only homes use renewable energy, also many companies, for example solar systems. They are easy to install and only require little maintenance. In many remote countries in the US who are off the grid, use solar panels on public telephones. Order to keep the phones up and running. It saves many kilometers wide digging of roads to lay cables. Electricity companies could also help to save energy and use renewable energy. They should supply homes with electricity by solar systems and not by fossil fuels. Moreover many experts believe that hydrogen-bades fuel cell systems wil provide the energy for the generation to come. Many companies are testing fuel cell systems and there are already fuel cell powered cars on the roads. They are relatively cheap, renewable and environmentally friendly, so I think it’s a good step into the right direction. Renewable energy is also supported by the government. They increased taxes on fossil fuels to reducing the global warming and make renewable energy more profitable for consumers.

[Pennsylvanian]

Hi Sandra

Well done, though I saw a few areas where some improvements could be made:

How can we save energy?

We all know that the availability of fossil fuels is limited, but the energy consumption is higher than ever before, so it’s time to take action to save the energy and use renewable energy. Renewable energy sources are becoming increasingly popular and are used more and more (sounds somewhat redundant), because more and more people are environmentally conscious and want to contribute to protecting the earth.
Many homes, which are off-the-grid use solar energy-systems for their own. . They can also save energy by buying energy efficient appliances and lighting, for instance modern light bulbs, which reduce the energy consumption by over 80 % compared to the older ones. Furthermore, it is very important to insulate the houses well, e.g. the roof and the walls, so they will save a lot of energy.
But ("However," would sound best here with the addition of "but" after the next comma) not only homes use renewable energy, but also many companies, for example solar systems. They are easy to install and only require little maintenance. In Many remote counties in the US which are off the grid,use solar panels on public telephones in order to keep the phones up and running. It saves many kilometers wide digging of roads to lay cables.* (It saves (it saves what?)). Electricity companies could also help to save energy and use renewable energy. They should supply homes with electricity from solar systems and not from fossil fuels. Moreover, many experts believe that hydrogen-based fuel cell systems will provide the energy for the generation to come. Many companies are testing fuel cell systems and there are already fuel cell powered cars on the roads. They are relatively cheap, renewable and environmentally friendly, so I think it’s a good step in the right direction. Renewable energy is also supported (I would recommend "subsidized" here) by the government. They increased taxes on fossil fuels to reducing the global warming and make renewable energy more profitable for consumers.

* I would reword this sentence as follows: "This prevents the upheaval of kilometers of otherwise satisfactory roads solely for the purpose of laying electric cables."  

Regards,
Pennsylvanian