Dringend! Bitte mal drüberschaun :)

[Mexx]

Hallo,

schreibe am Montag eine KA in Englisch -> Niveau: FHR . Thema ist eine Bildanalyse und wollte mich darauf ein wenig vorbereiten.

Wäre nett wenn jemand meinen Text korrigieren könnte




Das Bild zu meiner Beschreibung findet ihr unter diesem Link:

http://img368.imageshack.us/f/dec11015uk.jpg/

This cartoon is about skulls of humans in different ages [Epochen] and how intelligent they are.


In the foreground of the picture there are three skulls, from the prehistore man, the "normal" man and the American-TV man. On the first look you can see that the skull of the "normal" man is the largest of the three. The skull of the American-TV man looks similiar to the skull of the prehistore man but it contains a lesser amount of brain. On the second look you can see in front of the skull from the prehistore man some flints. In front of the skull from the American-TV man there are a huge amount of cigarettes and beer in tins. You can also see that the eye-holes of the TV-man look more quadratically than the eyes of the other skulls.


The author is intended to shock the viewer, therefore he is using the stylistic device exaggeration. The different brain volumes are symbols for the intelligent of the humans when they were alive. The cartoonist inidicates that the prehistore man was more intelligent than the American-TV man. You can also see the different living habits in front of the skulls. They are standing in a huge contrast to each other. Beer and cigarettes indicates a "couch potato life", flinches are standing for a life which is difficult to survive. The message of the cartoon is clear, the artist wants to inform us that too much TV reduce our thinking skills and you will get even more stupid than a prehistore man. The quadratically eye-holes of the TV skull underlinded this statement.

I agree with the main message in principle. Too much TV consumption and a life as a couch potato is reducing the intelligent level of humans. The cartoonist is also right with his conclusion that reduceing our thinking skills because of too much TV consumption is a danger in our modern generation. But on a closer look you can realized that a modern man is not going to get as stupid or even more stupid as a prehistore man. On this point the artist exaggerate a bit.

[choccy_hobnob]

Hallo Mexx Ich habe da mal kurz drübergeschaut und hätte ein paar Vorschläge für dich. Lass dich nicht davon abschrecken, dass es da schon ziemlich viele Korrekturen zu geben scheint - sowas lässt sich bei einem Text von dieser Länge einfach nicht vermeiden. Deine Beschreibung war tatsächlich sehr gut. Den Sinn hinter dem Bild hast du gut verstanden.

This cartoon is about the skulls of humans from different time periods and how intelligent they are (besser: "and their relative intelligence").

In the foreground of the picture there are three skulls, those of a prehistoric man, a "normal" man and an "American-TV" man. At the first glance, you can see (oder: "it is immediately clear") that the skull of the "normal" man is the largest of the three. The skull of the "American-TV" man looks similar to that of the prehistoric man, but it contains a lesser amount of brain (besser: "but has a smaller brain" - man hat ja keine "Menge" von Gehirn, sondern ein Gehirn von einer gewissen Größe). On closer inspection, it becomes apparent that some pieces of flints are lying in front of the skull of the prehistoric man. In front of the skull of the "American-TV" man, there is a huge amount of cigarettes and empty beer cans. You can also see that the eye sockets of the "American-TV" man look larger and more square than those of the other skulls.

The author is intending to shock the viewer; therefore, (oder: "in order to achieve this effect,") he has used the stylistic device of exaggeration. The different brain sizes are symbols for the intelligence of the humans when they were alive. The cartoonist indicates (oder: "suggests"/"implies") that the prehistoric man was more intelligent than the "American-TV" man. You can also see The different living habits (oder: "lifestyles") are also displayed in front of the skulls. They form a stark contrast to each other. Beer and cigarettes indicates (es gibt doch mehrere Biere und Zigaretten, Verb muss also im Plural stehen) a "couch potato life", whereas the pieces of flint are standing for a life where it is necessary to fight for survival. The message of the cartoon is clear: the artist wants to inform us that too much TV reduces our thinking skills (besser: "mental capacity") and reduces people's intelligence to a level lower than that of a prehistoric man. The large, square eye sockets of the TV-watching skull underline this statement.

I agree with the main message in principle. Too much TV consumption and a life as a couch potato is reducing the intelligence level of humans. The cartoonist is also right with his conclusion that the reduction of our thinking skills (besser: "mental capacity") because of (oder: "through") too much TV consumption is a danger in our modern generation. However, on further consideration, one comes to the conclusion that the modern man is not really going to become as stupid as, let alone even more stupid than, as a prehistoric man. On this point, the artist exaggerates (es gab sicherlich nur einen einzigen Künstler, Verb im Singular muss also her!) slightly.