Fehlerkorrektur bitte - kurzer Text (:

[languages]

Hallo (: Hierbei handelt es sich um einen Teil meiner Selbstbeschreibung für ein Auslandsstipendium. Meiner Meinung nach hört es sich etwas schräg an und mit Sicherheit sind viele Ausdrucksfehler mit drin versteckt. Ich wär euch sehr sehr dankbar, wenn ihr einige Korrekturen anbringen könntet!

I give private tutoring not only to my sister Emilie, but also to other primary-school pupils. Mainly I help in English and basics of German and Maths. Not seldom also classmates ask me for help, if there is any grammar of English, Latin or French they don't understand.
Neighbours give me their children in trust because I get very good along with children. So I often babysit and that not without fun. In school I am paramedic for injured or sickened pupils. During a break once a week I need to take care of ill pupils with other paramedics.
Sometimes we, paramedics, get the mobile phone with which everybody from school can reach us when an accident is happened. Besides I already last year enrolled in a cours, which educates 'Bus-Scouts', who are responsible for the safety by bus. Unfortunately the cours is able to start at first next february but all the same I think already now it's an important issue.
In my free time I'm active in a dancing group of a dance school. I simply love dancing and as about two years ago a cheerleading squad was established I put heart and soul into it.
Unfortunately wasn't many interested in the group. That's why the group disolved. Since then I dream of being member of a 'true' American cheerleading squad. I know that Cheerleading in America is even offered as a intensive cours. (;
But that's only one little reason I want to go abroad to the USA.
I really love traveling but unfortunately we don't have the money for taking vacations often. All the same I was able to do the experience you can't get to know the country's culture and attitude within two weeks. You are not more than a guest but I don't want to be only a foreigner and guest. That's why I have chosen going abroad for at least 10 month. I want to integrate, be a part of the foreign country and I want to see everything from the perspective of an American. I want to get to know the American way of live of course but also I want to experience something new. It's that what i can feel only rudimental here: mentality, culture, whether food or sport, simply the American attitude!

[joy]

Hallo (: Hierbei handelt es sich um einen Teil meiner Selbstbeschreibung für ein Auslandsstipendium. Meiner Meinung nach hört es sich etwas schräg an und mit Sicherheit sind viele Ausdrucksfehler mit drin versteckt. Ich wär euch sehr sehr dankbar, wenn ihr einige Korrekturen anbringen könntet!

I am currently giving private tuition not only to my sister Emilie as well as to other primary-school pupils. I help mainly with English and basics of German and Maths. Also classmates often ask me for help with any English, Latin or French grammar they don't understand.
Neighbours give their children in my care because I get very good along with children. So I often babysit and that not without fun. In school I serve as a paramedic for injured or sickened pupils. During a break once a week I need to take care of ill pupils together with other paramedics.
Sometimes all paramedics get a mobile phone with which everybody from school can reach us in case of an accident. Besides, last year I already enrolled in a course, which educates 'Bus-Scouts', who are responsible for the passenger's safety. Unfortunately the course will not start until next February, but all the same, I am sure that it will be an important experience.
In my free time I'm active in a dancing group of a dance school. I simply love dancing and as about two years ago a cheerleading squad was established I put heart and soul into it.
Unfortunately, not many participants were really interested in the group. That's why the group was dissolved. Since then I dream of being a member of a 'true' American cheerleading squad. I know that in America even an intensive Cheerleading course is offered. (;
But that's only one little reason I want to go abroad to the USA.
I really love traveling but unfortunately we don't have the money for taking vacations often. All the same, I was able to gain some experience but you can't get to know the country's culture and attitude within two weeks. You are not more than a guest but I don't want to be only a foreigner and guest. That's why I have chosen going abroad for at least 10 months. I want to integrate, be a part of the foreign country and I want to see everything from the perspective of an American. I want to get to know the American way of life of course but also I want to experience something new: It's that what I can feel only rudimental here: whether mentality or culture, whether food or sport, simply the American attitude!

Hi
In solchen Briefen sollte man keine Abkürzungen wie "I'm" machen, sondern sie ausschreiben "I am". Die Kürzungen habe ich hier nicht geändert.
Grüsse
joy

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

@languages,

zunächst natürlich willkommen im Forum, wo die liebe joy Dir ja auch schon prima geholfen hat.

Aber ich möchte Dich doch darauf hinweisen, dass in diesem Forum Cross Postings nicht gestattet sind, d.h., dass Du nicht Texte einstellen sollst, die Du schon in anderen Foren zur Beantwortung oder Korrektur eingestellt hattest. OK?

Grüße
Duckduck

[languages]

Hallo,

vielen Dank für die Korrektur, joy, sehr nett von dir (:
Und auch danke für den Hinweis, den ich in Zukunft beachten werde, Duckduck.


Hm, ihr habt mir super geholfen! Könntet ihr euch vielleicht auch die Fortsetzung ansehen?

I would like to be treated like an American teenager. Moreover I would love to be committed and to take part in after-school activities. I whish to witness Thanksgiving or Christmas-Day instead of 24th December on 25th December.

Furthermore I want to train my English language there. I already practise my English pronounciation with one teacher assistant from London once a week. For not having problems with the language I would improve my English on this way until derparture. In my opinion is the English language very important today. I know already I want to work in an international job. Besides I am not alone interested in English, but also in other languages. I learn English, Latin and French at school. And because my family immigrated to Germany 20 years ago I am growing up bilingual with Russian. After learning an half year French in school I decided to join in a preparatory cours of DELF. I will take the examination in January. But I connect English with my dream America and that's why there is no language I am more interested in.
You can make my dream of America possible. Unfortunately we don't have the money for the regular program but I will hold on to my dream.
I hope I could give you an insight into my life and I hope also i could arouse the impression to be well- suited for America.



Ich wäre sehr dankbar, wenn ihr mal rübergucken könntet!
Mit lieben Grüßen, Christina