Akzeptable fürs Ausland? Kontrolllesen

[Skywalker077]

Guten Abend/ Morgen,

Ich habe versucht mein Anliegen auf Englisch zu verfassen. Ich hoffe man kann es lesen und es sind nur kleine Fehler.
Ich befürchte jedoch das Gegenteil.

Hello, Good day!

I want to introduce myself. My name is Chris, i am 19 years old.
I have done my Fachabitur in electrial engineering after my Realschule.
I have successful finished that in summer 2010. I am in the military since summer.
My big dream was it to be a soldier. That is gone wrong. I leave the military at

the end of the year
So much to my Education.
My Hobbies:
I have played a long time tennis. In the Summer i play usally beachvolleyball.
Teamsport is nice. If I'm not in sports, I usually sit in my Room at the computer.
What i do on the Computer? Playing, programming training, many reading in wikipedia!

Well to my problem
through my failure at the military my childhood dreams and future plans destroyed.
I will sit on the Street without apprenticeship or a study place from 01.01.2011.
Maybe i get a apprenticeship in the summer. This will decide at the end of year.
Now i have two options:

1.)
I do a work experience, go to adult education center for a english curse and visit a dancing curse =) .

2.)
Work & Travel in Canada
Begin at Februar. Language skills collect. experience for life.
If i will get a apprenticeship, i could fly home after 6 months.
I could stay one for a year. Then i would begin a study in 2012
the problem with this idea
that visa. The visa must be applied for late November
This require a passport. My comes end of this year.
Every year there are only 3000 pieces.
My Englisch skill is very bad how some will find
I want improved this there, but is my skill actually enough for a Job?
A other problem is the holidaycash. That will cost at least 5000

Ich schäme mich für dieses Schei... !

Ich danke aber für jedes verbessern.

Gruß Sky

[Chuckle]

Hallo SkyWalker,

bereits beim Überfliegen sind mir gravierende Fehler bei deinem Text aufgefallen. Ich werde mal schauen, was ich so korrigiere.

Hello, Good day! (Good Day sagt man im englischen höchstens bei der Verabschiedung)

I want to introduce myself. My name is Chris, I am 19 years old.
I have done my Fachabitur Advanced Vocational Certificate of Education with the main topic "Electro engineering".
I received this diploma in summer 2010. Since them I solve my military service
My big dream was to become a soldier. This dream changed. I will leave the military at the end of the year
So much to for my education.



My hobbies:

I played tennis for a several time. In the summer I usually play beach volleyball.
Team sport is nice. If I'm not doing sports, I usually sit in my room at the computer.
You ask, what I am doing at the computer? So, I am programming, playing computer games and reading interesting stuff at Wikipedia.

Well to my problem
through my failure at the military my childhood dreams and future plans destroyed.
I will sit on the Street without apprenticeship or a study place from 01.01.2011.
Maybe i get a apprenticeship in the summer. This will decide at the end of year.
Now i have two options:

1.)
I do a work experience, go to adult education center for a english curse and visit a dancing curse =) .

2.)
Work & Travel in Canada
Begin at Februar. Language skills collect. experience for life.
If i will get a apprenticeship, i could fly home after 6 months.
I could stay one for a year. Then i would begin a study in 2012
the problem with this idea
that visa. The visa must be applied for late November
This require a passport. My comes end of this year.
Every year there are only 3000 pieces.
My Englisch skill is very bad how some will find
I want improved this there, but is my skill actually enough for a Job?

A other problem is the holidaycash. That will cost at least 5000

Das rosa Markierte solltest von selbst noch einmal korrigieren. Soviel Zeit habe ich gerade nicht.

[joy]

Guten Abend/ Morgen,

Ich habe versucht mein Anliegen auf Englisch zu verfassen. Ich hoffe man kann es lesen und es sind nur kleine Fehler.
Ich befürchte jedoch das Gegenteil.

Hello, Good day!

I want to introduce myself. My name is Chris, I am 19 years old.
In summer 2010, I successfully completed my Fachabitur (university entrance diploma) in electrial engineering after finishing Realschule (high school).
I have successful finished that in summer 2010. I was in the military in summer.
My big dream was it to be a soldier but it was an illusion. I left the military at
the end of the year.
So much to my education.

My Hobbies:
I have played tennis for a long time. In the summer I usually play usally beach volleyball.
Team sport is great. If I do not play sports, I usually sit in my room at the computer.
What I do on the computer? Playing, programming training, many reading a lot in Wikipedia!

A word about my problem
My failure at the military destroyed all my childhood dreams and future plans.
I will sit on the street without apprenticeship or a study place from 01.01.2011.
Maybe I will get an apprenticeship next summer. This will be decided at the end of the year.
Now I have two options:

1.)
I could do a work experience, go to an adult education center for an English course and visit a dancing course.

2.)
Work & Travel in Canada
Begin in February to gain language skills and experience for life.
If I got (bekäme) an apprenticeship, I could fly home after 6 months.
I could stay there for a year. Then I would begin a study in 2012, but
the problem with this idea is
that visa. The visa must be applied by late November
This requires a passport which I will not receive until the end of this year.
Every year there are only 3000 pieces. (Das verstehe ich nicht so recht)
My Englisch skill is very bad how some will find.
I want to improved this there, but is my skill actually enough for a job?
An other problem is the holiday cash. That will cost at least 5000

Ich schäme mich für dieses Schei... !

Ich danke aber für jedes verbessern.

Gruß Sky

Hi Sky
Das Wort "Ich - I" wird immer gross geschrieben.
Ich wünsche dir für die Zufkunft viel Glück!
joy