Description and Explanation

[Rich]

Hey there,
I need help with my homework.
We were supposed to describe and explain the beginning of the short story ''Drinking Coffee Elswhere'' by ZZ Parker.
I just wanted to ask you to correct my faults(also commas) and to give advices how I'm able to improve my style.
Thank for that


''I think it's the architecture'' is the beginning of the short story ''Drinking Coffee Elswhere'' by ZZ Parker. The first-person narrator is a coloured girl named Dina. She lives in Baltimore but studies in Yale. At the beginning of the short story she reports about her first day at Yale. The students play several games. Dina refuses to play a game which should create trust by beeing catched by a couple of persons. That's the reason why a white girl supposes that black girls don't have to fit in the white system. Dina answers that this already has happend to her. Afterwards, the students began to play a game, where everyone has to choose an object he would like to be. Besides Dina there is another black person in the circle of students. He comments the objects, which were chosed, in a friendly way. As it's Dina's turn to pick an object she says she wants to be a revolver. Dina doesn't know why she mentioned a revolver. She always has been a good and cooperative student. Her answer confused the black boy. And also the dean requests an explanation. At first he(the dean ist a woman) believes she was joking. But she explained she probably meant it at this time. Dina ads she has chosen a revolver because of its architecture. Now Dina is in the dean's office. She looks out of the winow and tries to imagine the college at the time of slaverie. Then the dean repeats the word ''architecture'' while probably making a calculation. But Dina is just focused on the dean's blinking.


The short story is written in the past, I'm not sure if I have to assume that.

Rich

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Hi Rich und willkommen im Forum!

Du, ich habe mir die Geschichte eben durchgelesen und sie beginnt mit dem Satz:

"Orientation games began the day I arrived at Yale from Baltimore."

Damit stimmt ja irgendwie schon der erste Satz Deiner Hausaufgabe nicht.
Ich habe die Aufgabe auch vielleicht noch nicht richtig verstanden. Was Du da jetzt bisher hast, ist eher eine nicht immer ganz genaue Nacherzählung, scheint mir. Von einer Erklärung, was der Anfang für die gesamte Story bedeutet, sehe ich noch nichts.
Nimm's mir nicht übel, da musst Du wohl noch einmal dran, ja?!

Grüße
Duckduck

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Auch für Dich der Hinweis, dass in diesem Forum Cross Postings nicht erlaubt sind!!!

Bitte lest doch auch mal die Forenregeln!!!

Duckduck