Cover letter für eine Bewerbung in England

[tarquin]

Hallo Leute,

ich bin gerade mitten im Bewerbungsprozess um ein Auslandspraktikum. Nun kommt man ja unweigerlich an die Stelle, wo das covering letter geschrieben ist und man sich fragt: Ist das jetzt alles gut, vernünftig und versteht man überhaupt, was ich eigentlich will?
An dieser Stelle bin ich gerade und würde mich sehr über Eure Hilfe in Form von Feedback und Korrekturvorschläge freuen.


Dear xyz,
subsequently to a phone call with Ms Paetzold from Munich where she told me about the CNN International placement program in London, I would like to apply for this placement program from March or April 2011 to May or June 2011 in the World Report or World Sports department. I am currently pursuing a degree in Journalism (MA) at the University of Mainz and am very keen to establish a career in journalism.
Cable News Network as the leading news channel worldwide with a viewer reach of nearly two billion people providing news coverage and a global view on the day's news tailored to its audience clearly is one of the most exciting and versatile jobs I could think of. After I experienced the professional standards of news reporting in Germany, I would like to extend this knowledge to international reporting.

Curiosity, interest in international affairs and CNN's professional and vivid reporting are the reasons why I want to be a part of your creative company and experience the in-depth coverage of CNN.
You will see from my enclosed CV that I have gained a wide variety of specific skills, which relate to working in journalism and media. I am sure that a placement will enable my skills to adapt accurate quality work quickly to breaking news and prioritise whilst under pressure meeting deadlines. Additionally I want to enhance my writing, communication and organisational skills developed at the university. Taking part in envisioning new segments and turn them into reality is what I am eager to try. As an enthusiastic consumer of news and energetic freelance journalist in regional and sports news, I have a clear view on what makes good journalism as well as developing, discussing and researching compelling story ideas. I have the ability to use my own initiative, evidenced while I was doing research in my placements for my own reports as well as for colleagues.
During my placement at "Hessischer Rundfunk" I accompanied the team's shoots and followed the editorial through to the final airing. I had the chance to co-ordinate and organise interviews and assist the team in any thinkable way. Thus I received hands-on training with professionals in various fields like audio and video production, editing and writing which enables me to make a news story visual for television.
For further information, please feel free to contact me at anytime.
I greatly appreciate your interest and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

xyz


So long,
tarquin

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Hallo Leute,

ich bin gerade mitten im Bewerbungsprozess um ein Auslandspraktikum. Nun kommt man ja unweigerlich an die Stelle, wo der covering letter geschrieben ist und man sich fragt: Ist das jetzt alles gut, vernünftig und versteht man überhaupt, was ich eigentlich will?
An dieser Stelle bin ich gerade und würde mich sehr über Eure Hilfe in Form von Feedback und Korrekturvorschläge freuen.


Dear ,
Subsequently to a phone call with Ms Paetzold from Munich where she told me about the CNN International placement program in London, I would like to apply for this placement program from March or April 2011 to May or June 2011 in the World Report or World Sports department. I am currently pursuing a degree in Journalism (MA) at the University of Mainz and am very keen on establishing a career in journalism.
Cable News Network as the leading news channel worldwide with a viewer reach of nearly two billion people, providing news coverage and a global view on the day's news tailored to its audience, clearly is one of the most exciting and versatile jobs I could think of. After experiencing the professional standards of news reporting in Germany, I would like to extend this knowledge to international reporting.

Curiosity, interest in international affairs and CNN's professional and vivid reporting are the reasons why I would like to be a part of your creative company and experience the in-depth coverage of CNN.
You will see from my enclosed CV that I have gained a wide variety of specific skills, which relate to working in journalism and media. I am sure that a placement will enable me to adapt accurate quality work quickly to breaking news and to prioritise tasks whilst under pressure to ensure the meeting of given deadlines. Additionally I want to enhance my writing, communication and organisational skills developed at the university. Taking part in envisioning new segments and turning them into reality is what I am eager to try. As an enthusiastic consumer of news and as an energetic freelance journalist in regional and sports news, I have a clear view of what makes good journalism, as well as developing, discussing and researching compelling story ideas. I have the ability to work on my own initiative, developed during my research in my placements for my own as well as for reports for colleagues.
During my placement at "Hessischer Rundfunk" I accompanied the team's shoots and followed the editorial through to the final airing. I had the chance to co-ordinate and organise interviews and assist the team in any thinkable way. Thus I received hands-on training with professionals in various fields like audio and video production, editing and writing which enables me to make a news story visual for television.

For further information, please feel free to contact me at anytime.
I greatly appreciate your interest and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,




So long,
tarquin

 
 
Hi tarquin,
 
gut geschrieben! Aber vermeide zu lange Schachtelsaetze. In Deutschland zeugen diese von Eloquenz, in England nicht. Sie werden zwar nicht negativ angesehen, aber manche Menschen empfinden es schwer sie zu lesen und verlieren schnell das Interesse. Es ist ein bisschen schwierig zwischen zu langen und zu kurzen Saetzen zu balancieren, aber wenn man es erst einmal kann, geht es wie von alleine.
 
Viel Glueck!

[tarquin]

Hi Keswick,

danke zunächst mal für Dein Feedback und die Hilfe.
Ich hatte ehrlich gesagt beim Korrekturlesen ein ähnliches Gefühl wie Du. Rein von Berufswegen sind mir so lange Schachtelsätze ja schon suspekt und ich hatte das Gefühl, dass ich da noch ein bisschen die Balance finden muss.
Daran werd ich mich später mal setzen ... ist ja eh Dauerregen heute und keine Möglichkeit davor zu fliehen.

So long,
tarquin

[caro64]

I am sure that a placement will enable me to adapt accurate quality work quickly to breaking news and to prioritise tasks whilst under pressure to ensure the meeting of given deadlines : This confuses me, I have rewritten this sentence but I'm not sure if this is what is meant.

I am sure that a placement will enable me to adapt quickly to accurate quality work, quickly to breaking news, and to prioritise tasks whilst under pressure and to ensure the meeting of given deadlines

[caro64]

Here's another one .....

As an enthusiastic consumer of news and as an energetic freelance journalist in regional and sports news, I have a clear view of what makes good journalism, as well as developing, discussing and researching compelling story ideas.

I would write.....

As an enthusiastic consumer of news and as an energetic freelance journalist in regional and sports news, I have a clear view of what makes good journalism, as well as on developing, discussing and researching and compelling story ideas.

[caro64]

Here's another one .....

As an enthusiastic consumer of news and as an energetic freelance journalist in regional and sports news, I have a clear view of what makes good journalism, as well as developing, discussing and researching compelling story ideas.

I would write.....

As an enthusiastic consumer of news and as an energetic freelance journalist in regional and sports news, I have a clear view of what makes good journalism, as well as on developing, discussing and researching and compelling story ideas.

Even better...As an enthusiastic consumer of news and as an energetic freelance journalist in regional and sports news, I have a clear view of what makes good journalism, as well as a clear view on developing, discussing and researching and compelling story ideas

[caro64]

@tarquin,...I know now what you mean by....


'As an enthusiastic consumer of news and as an energetic freelance journalist in regional and sports news, I have a clear view of what makes good journalism, as well as developing, discussing,and researching and compelling story ideas'

Sorry about that , I think it was the comma that confused me.

[tarquin]

@ caro64: First of all, thanks alot for your help. Totally appreciate your commitment.

I was about to make clear what I meant by this sentence. But as you've figured out it was the comma that was slightly confusing.