Englisch Text überprüfen und verbesserungsvorschläge geben.

[Juliane_B]

Wäre cool wenn ihr den text vll korrigiert und verbessert! danke danke danke

My name is ... I am 21 years old and I live together with my parents in Harleshausen.
I have four siblings. One brother and three sisters. All moved away from home and two of them already got children. I have two nieces and a third niece is on the way. It will be born in November.
My hobbies are go shopping, cleaning and do a lot with my family and friends.
I am currently doing an apprenticeship in the State theatre of ... and after this I would like to study. I would also like to move together with my boyfriend and buy a dog.
My Parents are the people I admire the most. They came from more than 20 years to germany and had nothing. In all that time they have worked very hard. And now they have a great and happy life. They have tried everything to get all our wishes come true. And even now they would never refuse a wish.
Also I admire my two little nieces. They see the world not as we adults. They run trough the world without any expectations and look forward to see and learn new things. Sometimes I think we should do it the same, then we would appreciate small things and would be a whole lot happier.
I don't have one favorite time in history. I have a few favorite times in history. I like the middle ages, the 20s and the 50s. I think any of us would like to look into the future to see how the future will be.
The most unusual moment in my life has lastet for several weeks. At that time I was in the elementary school and on the way home someone tried to kidnap my best friend. Somehow I helped her in this moment. After that day nothing was as before. Her family has been bombarded daily with calls and our fathers decided that we no longer walk alone to school. We also got channels in our school bags, witch gave a very loud alarm as soon as one of us was screaming. Luckily it never got to such a situation.
For the future, I hope with all my heart, that the world will be better and we no longer have to fear to bring children into this world. Of course I hope also that my family and my friends will be always healthy and happy.


so das wars tobt euch aus!

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Es wäre cool, wenn ihr den Text vielleicht korrigiert und verbessert! Danke Danke Danke!

Hi Juliane und willkommen im Forum! Achtest Du bitte auch auf die deutsche Rechtschreibung! Dann will ich mal toben:

My name is ... I am 21 years old and I live together with my parents in Harleshausen.
I have four siblings. one brother and three sisters. All of them have already moved away from home and two of them already have got children. I have two nieces and a third niece is on the way. She will be born in November.
My hobbies are going shopping, cleaning and doing a lot with my family and friends/enjoying life with my family and friends.
Currently, I am doing an apprenticeship in the State theatre of ... and after that I would like to study. I would also like to move in together with my boyfriend and buy a dog.
My parents are the people I admire the most. They came from Poland to Germany more than 20 years ago and had nothing. In all that time they have worked very hard. And now they have a great and happy life. They have tried everything to make all our wishes come true/meet all our wishes. And even now they would never disregard a wish.
I also admire my two little nieces. They see the world differently from us adults. They run through the world without any expectations and look forward to seeing and learning new things. Sometimes I think we should be like them, then we would appreciate small things and would be a whole lot happier.
I don't have one single favourite (BrE) time in history, but several. I like the Middle Ages and the 20s and the 50s of the last century. I think any one of us would like to look into the future to see what it will be.
The most unusual moment in my life has lasted (for) several weeks. At that time I attended the elementary school and on the way home someone tried to kidnap my best friend. Somehow I could help her in this crisis. After that day nothing was the same. Her family was bombarded with calls by the press??? every day and our fathers decided that we no longer walk to school alone. We also got channels??? in our school bags, which gave a very loud alarm as soon as one of us was screaming. Luckily, a situation like that never occured.
For the future, I hope with all my heart that the world will become a better place and we no longer will have to fear to bring children into it. Of course I also hope that my family and my friends will always be healthy and happy.


so das wars tobt euch aus!

Well done!

Duckduck

[caro64]

So that was a waste of my time, Duckduck beat me to it well never mind it was good exercise for my brain and it's always interesting to see how others would write things . Caro x

Wäre cool wenn ihr den text vll korrigiert und verbessert! danke danke danke

My name is ... I am 21 years old and I live together with my parents in Harleshausen.
I have four siblings. One brother and three sisters. All 4 have moved away from home (left home), and two of them already got have children. I have two nieces and a third niece is on the its way. It will be born in November.
My hobbies are go shopping, cleaning and doing things a lot with my family and friends.
I am currently doing an apprenticeship in the State theatre of ... and after this I would like to study. I would also like to move in together with my boyfriend and buy a dog.
My Parents are the people I admire the most. They came from more than 20 years to Germany more than 20 years ago and had nothing. In During all this time they have worked very hard and now they have a great and happy life. They have tried everything to get make all our wishes come true, And even now they would never refuse a wish try hard to fulfill all our wishes. Also I also admire my two little nieces. They see the world differently not as we like us adults. They run through the world life without any great expectations, and they simply look forward to seeing and learning new things. Sometimes I think we (us adults) should do it the same, then we would appreciate the smaller things in life and we would be a whole lot happier.
I don't have just one favorite time in history. I have a few favorite times in history. I like the middle ages, the 20s and the 50s. I think any all of us would like to look see into the future to see howthe future will it is. The most unusual moment in of my life has now lasted for several weeks . At that time It all started when I was in the at elementary school and on the way home someone tried to kidnap my best friend. Somehow I managed to helped her (? help her break free )in this moment. After that Ever since this day nothing has been the same again. Her family have been bombarded daily with telephone calls and our fathers decided that we should no longer walk alone to school alone. We also got channels (?) in our school bags, witch which gave set off a very loud alarm as soon as one of us was start screaming. Luckily it never got to such a situation (such a situation has never occured). For the future, I hope with all my heart, that the world will be better and we no longer have to fear to bring children into this world (I hope for the future with all my heart, that the world will become a better place and we can stop fearing about bringing children into it
Of course I also hope also that my family and my friends will be always be healthy and happy.


so das wars tobt euch aus!

[Juliane_B]

Vielen lieben Danke an euch alle! Ihr habt mir sehr geholfen!