Bitte Korrigieren, wäre ganz lieb :D

[Svenja09]

Hallo,
Da ich nicht wirklich gut in englisch bin bräuchte ich ein wenig eure Hilfe. Haben eine Aufgabe bekommen, in der wir
Zeitreisender berichten sollen vom Jahr 1850 in das Jahr 2010. Haben einen kleinen Text formuliert, wäre lieb,
wenn ihr ihn mal durch schauen könnten.
Dankeschön

Hello my name is Svenja and i’m a timetraveller. I was born in 1850 in Germany and I travelled in the year 2010. It was a amazing experience because the world was changed in a electronic planet. Evererywhere I found carriages but without hourses, instead of they had a engine. In the air were aircraft, but I belive that’s birds with a motor.
I went along the street, I thing it was very new because there are no holes in it.
But repeat, I went along the street and beside me was a big pane (Glassscheibe). Behind this pane were hundres of little panes but with a pictures which changed all the time. It was fascinating. A boy explained me that the name of this little panes are television.
They boy tooks me to his hand and showed me any more. We went to him at home. He showed me a onsceen with buttons, this is a computer. He began to upload the pc, there were pictures everywhere. Beside the computer lies a mouse, but not the with animal. With this mouse you can touch the pictures on the onsceen, do not ask me how it went.
In the kitchen were a lot of motors to. You can to warm up your eat in a box, it is called mircowave. And you can touch a button on the wall and than it was so bright in the room.
It was really remarkable. But my time was over and I had to go back in 1850.
I will alaways remember this trip.

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Hello, my name is Svenja and I’m ( "I" immer groß) a timetraveller. I was bornin Germany in 1850 (Ort vor Zeit) and I travelled to (nicht wo?, sondern wohin?, also "to") the year 2010. It was an amazing (wenn das folgende Wort mit einem Vokal - a,e,i,o,u - beginnt, wird aus dem Artikel "a" ein "an") experience because our earth had changed into an electronic planet. Evererywhere I found carriages, but without hourses, instead of those they had an engine. In the air were aircrafts, but I believe that they were birds with a motor.
I went along a street, I think it must have been very new because there were no holes in it.
Anyway, I went along a street and next to me was a big pane (Glassscheibe). Behind this pane were hundreds of little panes showing pictures which changed all the time. It was fascinating. A boy explained to me that the name of these little panes is television.
They boy tooks me by the hand and showed me much more. We went to his home. He showed me a screen with buttons. "This is a computer", he said. He began something he called "uploading the PC", there were pictures everywhere. Beside the computer lay a mouse, but not the with animal. With this mouse you could touch the pictures on the screen. Do not ask me how!
In the kitchen were a lot of motors too. You could to warm up your meal in a box, it is called a microwave. And you could press a button on the wall and then the room was as bright as day.
It was really remarkable. But my time was over and I had to go back to 1850. (Wenn Du 1850 geboren wurdest und Du gehst in das Jahr zurück, hättest Du die Reise als Neugeborene unternommen...unwahrscheinlich!)
I will alaways remember this trip.

Nun, da war ja doch eine ganze Menge, oder? Aber allein die Flüchtigkeits- und Rechtschreibfehler hättest Du wohl vermeiden können, wenn Du selber noch einmal genauer geguckt hättest, nöch? Also ein Tipp: nimm Dir die Zeit und gucke vernünftig, das kann ganze Noten ausmachen!

Grüße
Duckduck

[Pennsylvanian]

(Oops, Duckduck beat me to it )

Hallo Svenja09,

ich hoffe, das hilft Dir:

Hello my name is Svenja and I’m a timetraveller. I was born in 1850 in Germany and I travelled to the year 2010. It was an amazing experience because the world was had changed in a to an electronic planet. Everywhere I found carriages but without horses. Instead, of they had an engine. In the air were aircraft, but I believe that’s they're birds with a motors.
I went along the street, which I though was very new because there were no holes in it, and beside me was a big glass (I would explicitly say glass here but panes are typically glass anyway, so you would be probably be understood) pane (Glassscheibe). Behind this pane were hundreds of little panes but with a pictures which changed all the time. It was fascinating. A boy explained to me that the name of this pane / these little panes (choose one) are is ("name" requires "is" ) television.
The boy took me by the hand and showed me any more. We went to his home. He showed me a screen with buttons, and said "this is a computer". He began to upload to the pc. There were pictures everywhere. Beside the computer lay a mouse, but not the with animal. With this mouse you can touch the pictures on the sceen. Do not ask me how it worked.
In the kitchen were a lot of motors too. You could to warm up your food in a box, called a mircowave and you can touch a button on the wall, making the room bright.
It was really remarkable but my time was over and I had to go back to 1850.
I will always remember this trip.

[Svenja09]

vielen vielen danke
das hat mir sehr geholfen