Bitte korigieren- Text für die Schule

[schadzzz-bella]

I´m the death son of Mr. Williams and I haunt the house. But I´m not a murderer or a thief. I can´t calm down because of my guilty consciences. I don’t know where my mother is. I haven´t seen her anytime. And my father went up to London and he had barely set foot in the metropolis before he was recognized as being a man wanted by the polis on some charge. But it must have been a grave one because sooner than give himself up, he shot himself. After my father had left the house I lived on here alone in the house and I waited day after day for my father’s return. But my father don´t come back. I was really sad because I missed my father more and more. Sometimes I cried a lot and I wished that my father come back. And everything should be alright. I was alone and sad. But my father had been impressed upon me that I was never under any circumstances to go out of the house or speak to anyone. And I did not dream of disobeying this command. Because of that I didn´t go to one of my neighbours to talk about my awful loneliness and desolation. The neighbours called me a weak, ailing, little creature. I had food for a little time and because of the words of my father I didn´t go out to get some food. So I died after sometime. And now I haunt the place. Year after year I swapped the sign. So the house has been either to be let or sold. So nobody moved into the house. But some weeks ago a county family moved into the house. The family consisted of Mr Winburn his widowed daughter Mrs Lancaster and Geoffrey. Mrs Lancasters son and the grandchild of Mr Winburn. Mrs Lancaster is a very nice woman. She was tall with much dark brown hair just tinged with grey and rather cold blue eyes. And she don´t believe in ghosts or anything of that sort. But Mr Winburn is the opposite of Mrs Lansaster. He believed in ghosts and he is very afraid. But I liked the family and Geoffrey is reminds me of me.

[Delfino]

I'm the dead son of Mr. Williams and I haunt the house.
But I'm not a murderer or a thief.
I can't calm down because of my guilty consciences.
I don’t know where my mother is.
I haven't seen her at any time.
And my father went up to London and he had barely set foot in the metropolis before he was recognized as being a man wanted by the police on some charges.
But it must have been very hard or he was so deeply grieved that he gave himself up so soon and shot himself.
After my father had left I lived alone in the house and I waited day after day for my father’s return.
But my father didn't come back.
I was really sad because I missed my father more and more.
Sometimes I cried a lot and I wished that my father would come back and then everything would be alright.
I was alone and sad.
But my father had told me that I was under no circumstances allowed to leave the house or to speak to anyone.
And I did not dream of disobeying this command.
Therefore I didn't go to any of my neighbours to talk about my awful loneliness and desolation.
The neighbours called me a weak, ailing, little creature.
I had food for a little time and because of the words of my father I didn't dare to go out to get some more food.
So I died after some time.
And now I haunt the place.
Year after year I swapped the signs.
So the house has been either to be let or sold.
So nobody moved into the house.
But some weeks ago a county family moved into the house.
The family consists of Mr Winburn, his widowed daughter Mrs Lancaster, Mrs Lancasters son Geoffrey and the grandchild of Mr Winburn.
Mrs Lancaster is a very nice woman.
She is tall with dark brown hair just tinged with grey and rather cold blue eyes.
And she doesn't believe in ghosts or anything of that sort.
But Mr Winburn is the opposite of Mrs Lansaster.
He believes in ghosts and he is very afraid.
But I like the family and Geoffrey reminds me of me.

Was hat die Unkenntnis des (derzeitigen) Aufenthaltsortes der Mutter (I don’t know where my mother is.) mit einem schlechten Gewissen (guilty consciences) zu tun?
Wieso kennen ihn die Nachbern wenn er nie das Haus verlassen hat?
Wie kann er wissen wie sie ihn bezeichnen wenn er nicht das Haus verlassen hat? (The neighbours called me ...)
Wohnt die Familie nun noch dort oder leben sie auch nicht mehr? (Mrs Lancaster is ... / She was... ; Mr Winburn is ... / He believed... )

Eine deutsche Fassung würde wohl mögliche inhaltliche Fehler und die verwirrende Verwendung der unterschiedlichen Zeitformen aufklären.

' wird erzeugt durch Umschalt/Shift + #

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

@schadzzz-bella,

hör mal, schläfst Du beim Posten? Du hast doch den Text bereits am 23. Mai reingestellt und Alex und ich haben ihn für Dich korrigiert!!! Guckst Du: ftopic8796.html

So gerne wir auch immer und jedem helfen, ich bin ziemlich sicher, dass wir alle ungern Arbeiten doppelt und dreifach erledigen. Also pass bitte etwas besser auf, ja?

Grüße
Duckduck

[schadzzz-bella]

ja tut mir leid aber bei mir hat das immer angezeigt das der beitrag nich im forum eingefügt wurde.

[Delfino]

@schadzzz-bella
Wenn du deine E-Mails etwas genauer liest wird dir aufallen, das es eine Nachricht über die Anwort zu deiner Anfrage ist und keine Fehlermeldung.
Bitte achte auch auf deine deutsche Rechtschreibung.

Ja, es tut mir leid. Aber bei mir hat es immer angezeigt, dass der Beitrag nicht im Forum eingefügt wurde.

This is supposed to be a little indirect reminder of the forum rules (which everyone agreed to during the registration process )
which implicitly state that one has to use proper German or English to allow others to improve their respective language skills too.
They also advice everyone to check their lines for spelling errors and typos before posting them. As you probably already know
during the first 20 minutes after the publication of a text the user can click the "Edit / Ändern" button to correct such mistakes.

Regeln für das Forum - DEUTSCH
ftopic644.html

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

@Delfino,

you're so right!!!!

Btw, advice = noun; advise = verb

Cheers
Duckduck