Mein Text für einen Vortrag bitte kontrollieren

[schadzzz-bella]

Ich muss in den nächsten Tagen einen Vortrag halten aber ich glaube das in meinem Text noch so einige Fehler sind. Es wäre toll wenn mir irgendwer helfen könnte und den Text kontrollieren könnte.

I´m the death son of Mr. Williams and I haunt the house. But I´m not a murderer or a thief. I can´t calme down because of my guilty consciences. I don´t know where is my mother I haven´t seen her anytime. And my father went up to London and he had barely set foot in the metropolis before he was recognized as being a man wanted by the polis on some charge. Mut is must have been a grave one because sooner than give himself up he shot himself. After my father had left the house I lived on here alone in the house and I waited day after day for my fathers eturn. But my father don´t come back. I was really sad because I missed my father more and more. Sometimes I cried a lot and I wished that my father come back and everthing should be alright. I was alone and sad. But my father had been impressed upon me that I was never under any circumstances to go out of the house or speak to anyone. And I did not dream of disobeying this command. Because of that I didn´t go to one of my neighbours to talk about my awful loneliness and desolation. I had food for a littler time and because of the words of my father I didn´t go out to get some food. So I died after some time. And now I haunt the place. Year after year I swaped the signe so the house had been either to be let or sold. So nobody moved into the house. But sime weeks ago a county family moved into the house. The family consisted of Mr Winburn, his widowed daughter Mrs Lancaster and Geoffrey Mrs Lancasters son and the grandchild of Mr Winburn. Mrs Lancaster bought the house. She is a very nice woman She is tall with much dark brown hair just tinged with grey and rather cold blue eyes. And she don´t believed in ghosts or anything of that sort. But Mr Winburn is the opposite of Mrs Lancaster. He believed in Ghosts and he is very afraid. But I liked the family and Geoffrey remember me of myself. So I think I would left the family alone.

[Alex2010]

Ich muss in den nächsten Tagen einen Vortrag halten, aber ich glaube, dass in meinem Text noch so einige Fehler sind. Es wäre toll, wenn mir irgendjemand helfen könnte und den Text kontrollieren könnte.

I´m the dead son of Mr. Williams and I haunt in her house. But I´m not neither a murderer nor a thief. I can't calme down because of my guilty consciences. I don´t know where is my mother is because I haven't seen her for a long time. And my father moved to London and he had barely set foot in the metropolis before he was recognized as being a man wanted by the polis on some charge. Mut is must have been a grave one because sooner than give himself up he shot himself. After my father had left the house I lived alone in the house and I have waited day by after day for my fathers return. But my father haven't come back. I have been really sad because I missed my father very much. Sometimes I cried a lot and I wished that my father come back and everything should be alright. I was alone and sad. But my father had been impressed upon me that I was never under any circumstances to go out of the house or speak to anyone. And I did not dream of disobeying this command. Because of that I didn´t go to one of my neighbours to talk about my awful loneliness and desolation. I had food for a plenty of time and because of my fathers's words I didn´t go out to get some food. So I died after some time. And now I haunt through the place. Year after year I swaped the signe so the house had been either to be let or sold. So nobody moved into the house. But a county family moved into the house some weeks ago. The family consist of Mr Winburn, his widowed daughter Mrs Lancaster and Geoffrey Mrs Lancaster's son and the grandchild of Mr Winburn. Mrs Lancaster bought the house. She is a very nice woman. She is tall with much dark brown hair just tinged with grey and rather cold blue eyes. And she does not believe in ghosts or anything of that kind. But Mr Winburn is the opposite of Mrs Lancaster. He believes in Ghosts and he is very afraid of them. But I liked the family and Geoffrey remember me of myself. So I think, I am going to leave the family alone here.

Hallo schadzzz-bella,
ich habe versucht eine Verbesserung zu schreiben. Jedoch habe ich einige Sätze nicht verändert, weil ich da lieber auf jemanden von den Profis hier warten will.
Liebe Grüße

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Ich muss in den nächsten Tagen einen Vortrag halten, aber ich glaube, dass in meinem Text noch so einige Fehler sind. Es wäre toll, wenn mir jemand helfen könnte und den Text kontrollieren könnte.

I'm Mr. Williams' dead son and I haunt the house. But I'm not a murderer or a thief. I can't rest in peace because of my guilty consciences. I don't know who my mother was since I never once saw her. And my father went up to London one day. Barely had he set foot in the metropolis, when he was recognized as being a man wanted by the police for some reason or other. It must have been a grave charge, though, because sooner than give himself up he shot himself. After my father had left the house I went on living here alone in the house, day after day waiting for his return. But he never came back. I grew really sad because I missed him more and more. Sometimes I cried a lot, whishing him to come and make everything alright again. I was alone and sad. My father had been impressed upon me that I was never under any circumstances to go out of the house or speak to anyone. And I did not dream of disobeying this command. Because of that I didn't go to any of my neighbours to talk about my awful loneliness and desolation. I had food for only a littler time and even when it was gone I didn't go out to get more. So after a while I died. And now I haunt the place. Year after year I have been swapping the signs outside, which say that the house is either to be let or sold. So nobody moved into the house. But some weeks ago a family from the country moved in. The family consists of Mr Winburn, his widowed daughter Mrs Lancaster and Geoffrey, her son. Mrs Lancaster bought the house. She is a very nice woman. She is tall with a lot of dark brown hair just tinged with grey and rather cold blue eyes. And she doesn't believe in ghosts or anything of the sort. But Mr Winburn is the opposite of Mrs Lancaster. He believes in ghosts and is very easy to frighten. But I liked the family and Geoffrey reminds me of myself. So I think I will leave them alone.

Prima gemacht, aber trotzdem gut, dass Du nochmal hast nachgucken lassen, nicht?
Wenn Du den Text vorträgst, sind die Kurzformen (don't usw) in Ordnung. Wenn Du ihn aber abgeben musst, mache Langformen daraus, ja?

Good luck says
Duckduck

OOPS, da ist mir Alex zuvorgekommen, aber wir können ja vergleichen, nicht?

[Alex2010]

@Duckduck: Ne, ich habe mich nicht ganz getraut.

Liebe Grüße