Bitte um Korrektur!

[danielkroeger93]

Hallo,
ich bin neu hier. Außerdem habe ich mir nicht sehr viel Mühe gegeben und der Text ist etwas kurz, das gebe ich ja zu, jedoch würde ich mich über Verbesserungen z.B. in Satzbau oder Korrektur der Fehler freuen. Ich bedanke mich schon einmal im voraus.



How do you feel about environmental issues?

In my opinion pottering at environmental issues is very important. Every people have to do this, because if we destroy our planet we destroy us. So everyone should think about his attitude against planet earth. Most people do not do that, because they do not care about their planet, they think their mess does not have any negative exposure on earth, but this is wrong. It is the end of the world if everybody thinks so. Therefore private organizations like Greenpeace are essential to save our planet, for the simple reason that they fight against the pollution and destruction on planet earth. Also it is important to assist those groups finically to keep their existence. Another point is that the government does not care about our environment, either. They fell many trees to get flat plain for office buildings or other buildings. Greenpeace are not able to do nothing much against this.

So all in all we have to think about our attitude against our planet and support groups which try to protect our earth from the pollution. Also the government should realize that it is important to save our planet.

[Keswick (Contributor)]

How do you feel about environmental issues?

In my opinion pottering at environmental issues is very important. Every person have to do this, because if we destroy our planet we destroy ourselves. So everyone should think about their attitude on planet earth. Most people do not do that, because they do not care about their planet, they think their mess does not have any negative exposure on the earth, but this is wrong. It is the end of the world if everybody thinks so. Therefore private organizations like Greenpeace are essential to save our planet, for the simple reason that they fight against the pollution and destruction on planet earth. Also it is important to assist those groups finically to keep them in existence. Another point is that the government does not care about our environment, either. They fell many trees to achieve space for office buildings or other buildings. Greenpeace are not able to do anything against this.

So all in all we have to think about our attitude towards our planet and support groups which try to protect our earth from the pollution. Also the government should realize that it is important to save our planet.

Ich widerspreche dir nicht, dass dieser Text sehr halbherzig geschrieben ist. Vielleicht moechtest du ihn ja nochmal ueberarbeiten.

[danielkroeger93]

Könntest du mir ein paar Verbesserungsvorschläge geben?

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Gehe auf deine Argumente naeher ein. Gib Beispiele fuer deine Argumente und fuehre diese naeher aus.

[danielkroeger93]

Werde ich in Zukunft machen, vielen Dank!

[danielkroeger93]

EDIT ADMIN

Bitte nur zitieren, wo es Sinn macht.

Ich würde ihn gerne noch einmal überarbeiten, das Problem ist nur, dass ich momentan sehr viel für die Schule machen muss (Klausuren, Referate, ...). Sobald ich mehr Freizeit habe werde ich mich damit beschäftigen.