Bewerbung BE

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wers1

Bewerbung BE

Beitrag von wers1 »

Halli Hallo,
ich möchte ein FSJ in england machen und brauche dazu eine Bewerbung... nun komme ich da mit meinem Schul-englisch wohl nicht ganz so weit... habe versucht alles einigermaßen auzuschreiben. Könnt ihr mal bitte drübergucken?

Danke im vorraus

Felix

PS: Weiß zufällig jemand woran man in GB ein soziales/gemeinnütziges Unternehmen erkennt?

Hier der Text

Dear Mr xyz,
Even though I know that You have not advertised for any job in youth work, I want to apply for an volunteer’s job: Voluntary Year of Social Service at your institution.

I am 17 years of age now and I am attending a “Gymnasium” ( grammar school ) in Germany majoring in physics and maths. I would like to apply for a volunteer’s job in organising events and other activities for young people in the field sports.
In Germany you have to serve in the army or engage in a Voluntary Year of Social Service. Because of my experiences (following later) and my wish to gain a better English I have decided to apply for a kind of social service in a foreign country.
In my free time I often work with young people for the reason that it’s fun.
I have already experienced a lot of things at three different organisations: Firstly I started to organize events for youths between four and 21 years of age at the “governing body of youth” in my sports-club. Because of this work, I came to the “Sports Promotion Team” of the regional sports association in my town. In summer of 2009 I have supported the third organisation at a holiday camp with children between four and 14 years of age. In the group which I have lead were children of eight years.
Now I am looking for an institution of service where I can do a Voluntary Year of Social Service. About this you can read on an self-written info sheet on page three. While investigating I came up with your institution and I felt attracted.

I have enclosed the info leaflet and an short curriculum vitae for your information.

I would kindly request, if there is any chance for me to join your team for nearly eleven months in a time to come. If you feel that it might be possible, I would like to search for a head-organization. Please take into consideration that the scheduling of the service would need some time. My wish start the Voluntary Year of Social Service in Britain would be in October 2011. Of course, I am prepared to send any further information concerning myself (school-reports, references etc.) if you like.

I am looking forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely


Felix xyz




FSJ - VOLUNTARY YEAR OF SOCIAL SERVICE

There are many German laws, which rule this social service, but I will try to do the most things, so you don’t have to investigate so much time into it.
If you are interested to affiliate me in your team, I will search firstly an association, who let agree the service and help with the rules. Also this organization have to teach me in the first 4 weeks and in the last week of the employment in Germany, so I would be only nearly 11 months in Great Britain.

But which costs are there for your ?
Because its voluntary, there are no really wage, in German its called like pocket money. Up on this came costs for housing, meal and insurances, the amount of this I don’t know at the moment and its very variable. You don’t have to pay me an luxury flat, maybe there is a living community where I can dwell for this year. If I need a tube-ticket, maybe we can share the costs for a long-time-ticket. For the sum of expense for insurances I will talk to the assistant-organisation, if you are interested in me as your voluntary employer.

What do you get for it?
You get a full-time-worker, who is interested in the social work in Sport. I think it could be an useful exchange of experience between your organisation and the ones in my home. Maybe you are interested in some projects like the “Sport Promotion Team”, too, and I can help with my knowledge and my contacts to make the sport in London to a more important part of life.

CURRICULUM VITAE
PERSONAL DETAILS
Name Felix xyz
Address xyz
xyz
Germany
Telephone +49 123 456789
Mobile +49 123 456790
Email felix-xyz@xyz.de
Date of Birth 05th January 1234
Nationality: German

EDUCATION (sind Tabellen)
Name of School Date
Lessing Grundschule *****
(primary school) 1999 to 2003
Friedrich Schiller Gymnasium *****
(academic high school) 2003 to probably 2011
with "Abitur" (A-level) certificate

ADDITIONAL SKILLS
Languages: German – native speaker
English – at the moment nine years of learning (and working on it)
Czech – basics
French – basics

PC Skills: MS Word, MS Excel, MS Powerpoint, MS OneNote HTML, CSS, basics of PHP (Web Languages)
photoshopping, basics of video editing


OUTSIDE INTERESTS AND ACTIVITIES
- Playing table-tennis at the “ESV *****”,
- voluntary work in the youth-board of management at “ESV *****”,
- voluntary work in the “Sport Promotion Team” of “KSB” (regional Sports Association),
- Graphic and Web design/development
I hope the CV is written like your and the British principles, for questions I’m naturally available.
briefkopf und co. sind natürlich auch da, hab ich jetzt weggelassen

Keswick (Contributor)

Re: Bewerbung BE

Beitrag von Keswick (Contributor) »

Was meinst du mit soziales/gemeinnuetziges Unternehmen? Falls du eine Charity, also einen Wohlfahrtsverband meinst, dann findest du die ueber ihre Charity Nummer. Alle Wohlfahrtsverbaende in GB muessen eingetragen sein.
wers1 hat geschrieben:Hallihallo,
ich möchte ein FSJ in England machen und brauche dazu eine Bewerbung... nun komme ich da mit meinem Schulenglisch wohl nicht ganz so weit... habe versucht alles einigermaßen auszuschreiben. Könnt ihr mal bitte drübergucken?

Danke im Vorraus.

Felix

PS: Weiß zufällig jemand woran man in GB ein soziales/gemeinnütziges Unternehmen erkennt?


Hier der Text

Dear Mr xyz,
Even though I know that You have not advertised for any job in youth work, I want to apply for an volunteer’s job: Voluntary Year of Social Service at your institution.

I am 17 years of age now and I am attending a “Gymnasium” ( grammar school ) in Germany majoring in physics and maths. I would like to apply for a volunteer’s job in organising events and other activities for young people in the field sports.
In Germany you have to serve in the army or engage in a Voluntary Year of Social Service. Because of my experiences (following later) and my wish to gain a better English I have decided to apply for a kind of social service in a foreign country.
In my free time I often work with young people for the reason that it’s fun.
I have already experienced a lot of things at three different organisations: Firstly I started to organize events for youths between four and 21 years of age at the “governing body of youth” in my sports-club. Because of this work, I came to the “Sports Promotion Team” of the regional sports association in my town. In summer of 2009 I have supported the third organisation at a holiday camp with children between four and 14 years of age. In the group which I have lead were children of eight years.
Now I am looking for an institution of service where I can do a Voluntary Year of Social Service. About this you can read on an self-written info sheet on page three. While investigating I came up with your institution and I felt attracted.

I have enclosed the info leaflet and an short curriculum vitae for your information.

I would kindly request, if there is any chance for me to join your team for nearly eleven months in a time to come. If you feel that it might be possible, I would like to search for a head-organization. Please take into consideration that the scheduling of the service would need some time. My wish start the Voluntary Year of Social Service in Britain would be in October 2011. Of course, I am prepared to send any further information concerning myself (school-reports, references etc.) if you like.

I am looking forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely


Felix xyz




FSJ - VOLUNTARY YEAR OF SOCIAL SERVICE

There are many German laws, which rule this social service, but I will try to do the most things, so you don’t have to investigate so much time into it.
If you are interested to affiliate me in your team, I will search firstly an association, who let agree the service and help with the rules. Also this organization have to teach me in the first 4 weeks and in the last week of the employment in Germany, so I would be only nearly 11 months in Great Britain.

But which costs are there for your ?
Because its voluntary, there are no really wage, in German its called like pocket money. Up on this came costs for housing, meal and insurances, the amount of this I don’t know at the moment and its very variable. You don’t have to pay me an luxury flat, maybe there is a living community where I can dwell for this year. If I need a tube-ticket, maybe we can share the costs for a long-time-ticket. For the sum of expense for insurances I will talk to the assistant-organisation, if you are interested in me as your voluntary employer.

What do you get for it?
You get a full-time-worker, who is interested in the social work in Sport. I think it could be an useful exchange of experience between your organisation and the ones in my home. Maybe you are interested in some projects like the “Sport Promotion Team”, too, and I can help with my knowledge and my contacts to make the sport in London to a more important part of life.

CURRICULUM VITAE
PERSONAL DETAILS
Name Felix xyz
Address xyz
xyz
Germany
Telephone +49 123 456789
Mobile +49 123 456790
Email felix-@.de
Date of Birth 05th January 1234
Nationality: German

EDUCATION (sind Tabellen)
Name of School Date
Lessing Grundschule *****
(primary school) 1999 to 2003
Friedrich Schiller Gymnasium *****
(academic high school) 2003 to probably 2011
with "Abitur" (A-level) certificate

ADDITIONAL SKILLS
Languages: German – native speaker
English – at the moment nine years of learning (and working on it)
Czech – basics
French – basics

PC Skills: MS Word, MS Excel, MS Powerpoint, MS OneNote HTML, CSS, basics of PHP (Web Languages)
photoshopping, basics of video editing


OUTSIDE INTERESTS AND ACTIVITIES
- Playing table-tennis at the “ESV *****”,
- voluntary work in the youth-board of management at “ESV *****”,
- voluntary work in the “Sport Promotion Team” of “KSB” (regional Sports Association),
- Graphic and Web design/development
I hope the CV is written like your and the British principles, for questions I’m naturally available.
briefkopf und co. sind natürlich auch da, hab ich jetzt weggelassen

Keswick (Contributor)

Re: Bewerbung BE

Beitrag von Keswick (Contributor) »

Und hier die Verbesserung:
wers1 hat geschrieben:Dear Mr xyz,
Even though I know that you have not advertised for any vacancies in youth work, I want to apply for a Voluntary Year of Social Service at your institution.

I am 17 years old now and I am attending a grammar school in Germany majoring in physics and maths. I would like to apply for a volunteer’s job in organising events and other activities for young people in the sports sector.
In Germany you have to serve in the military service or engage in a Voluntary Year of Social Service. Because of my experiences (following later) and my wish to improve my English I have decided to apply for a kind of social service in a foreign country.

In my free time I often work with young people, simply for the reason that it is fun.
I have already gained experience during my work for three different organisations: First I started to organize events for young people between four and 21 years of age at the “governing body of youth” in my sports-club (Name des Clubs). Because of this work, I came in touch with the “Sports Promotion Team” of the regional sports association in my town. In summer of 2009 I have supported the third organisation (Name!) at a holiday camp with children between four and 14 years of age.The children of the group I lead were eight years old.
Now I am looking for an institution of service where I can do a Voluntary Year of Social Service. About this you can read on an self-written info sheet on page three.1) While investigating I came across your institution and it caught my interest.

I have enclosed the info leaflet (was soll das sein?) and an short curriculum vitae for your information.

I would kindly request, if there is any chance for me to join your team for nearly eleven months in a time to come. If you feel that it might be possible, I would like to search for a head-organization. (Was willst du damit sagen? Du kannst 11 Monate arbeiten und moechtest was?) Please take into consideration that the scheduling of the service would need some time. My preferred time to start the Voluntary Year of Social Service in Britain would be in October 2011. Of course, I am prepared to send any further information about myself (school-reports, references etc.) if you like. (Besser: If you require any more personal information, please do not hesitate to ask.)

I am looking forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely


Felix xyz




FSJ - VOLUNTARY YEAR OF SOCIAL SERVICE

There are many German laws, which rule this social service, but I will try to do the most things, so you don’t have to investigate so much time into it.
If you are interested to affiliate me in your team, I will search firstly an association, who let agree the service and help with the rules. Also this organization have to teach me in the first 4 weeks and in the last week of the employment in Germany, so I would be only nearly 11 months in Great Britain.

But which costs are there for your ?
Because its voluntary, there are no really wage, in German its called like pocket money. Up on this came costs for housing, meal and insurances, the amount of this I don’t know at the moment and its very variable. You don’t have to pay me an luxury flat, maybe there is a living community where I can dwell for this year. If I need a tube-ticket, maybe we can share the costs for a long-time-ticket. For the sum of expense for insurances I will talk to the assistant-organisation, if you are interested in me as your voluntary employer.

What do you get for it?
You get a full-time-worker, who is interested in the social work in Sport. I think it could be an useful exchange of experience between your organisation and the ones in my home. Maybe you are interested in some projects like the “Sport Promotion Team”, too, and I can help with my knowledge and my contacts to make the sport in London to a more important part of life.


CURRICULUM VITAE
PERSONAL DETAILS
Name Felix xyz
Address xyz
xyz
Germany
Telephone +49 123 456789
Mobile +49 123 456790
Email felix-@.de
Date of Birth 05th January 1234
Nationality: German

EDUCATION (sind Tabellen)
Name of School Date
Lessing Grundschule *****
(primary school) 1999 to 2003
Friedrich Schiller Gymnasium *****
(academic high school) 2003 to present
with "Abitur" (A-level) certificate

ADDITIONAL SKILLS
Languages: German – native speaker
English – Du musst hier den Standard angeben, z.B. basic, fluent etc.
Czech – basics
French – basics

PC Skills: MS Word, MS Excel, MS Powerpoint, MS OneNote HTML, CSS, basics of PHP (Web Languages)
Photoshop, basics of video editing


PERSONAL INTERESTS AND ACTIVITIES
- Playing table-tennis at the “ESV *****”,
- voluntary work in the youth-board of management at “ESV *****”,
- voluntary work in the “Sport Promotion Team” of “KSB” (regional Sports Association),
- Graphic and Web design/development
I hope the CV is written like your and the British principles, for questions I’m naturally available.
briefkopf und co. sind natürlich auch da, hab ich jetzt weggelassen[/quote]

1. Englaender sind pingelig. Sie fassen vieles gerne als Befehl auch, auch wenn es aus deutscher Sicht nicht so gemeint ist. Sobald die noetige Anzahl an BITTE fehlt, koennten sie es falsch auffassen. Daher vermeide alles, dass man als Befehl auslegen koennte, auch wenn du es vielleicht gar nicht so meinst.

Der von mir in violett markierte Text verwundert mich: Wieso schreibst du das? Falls du es schreibst, um zu erklaeren, was ein FSJ ist, dann wuerde ich das nicht tun. Wenn der Empfaenger nicht weiss, was ein FSJ ist, dann schaut er es nach oder kontaktiert dich. Wenn du es gleich erklaerst, implizierst du, dass du davon ausgehst, dass er nicht weiss, was es ist. Du stellst den Empfaenger damit ungewollt als dumm hin. Das wirft ein ganz schlechtes Licht auf dich.

Wenn du noch Fragen hast, dann stell sie bitte.

Duckduck (Contributor)

Re: Bewerbung BE

Beitrag von Duckduck (Contributor) »

Hallo allesamt!

Kurz noch drei kleine Anmerkungen:

1. Schreibung "organize/organise" angleichen,
2. Stammformen von "lead" sind "led led" und
3. "a short curriculum vitae"

Grüße von
Duckduck

wers1

Re: Bewerbung BE

Beitrag von wers1 »

erstmal vielen dank für eure vielen Berichtigungen... werde das übernehmen. Auch die Beschreibung kann ich ja erstmal in der hinterhand behaltuen und bei gelegenheit rausholen.

Nur eins verwundert mich bisschen: das YOU ich hatte es in einer Urspürünglcihen Version klein(you) geschrieben und mir wurde gesagt das wäre mit "du" zu vergleichen"You" wäre eher Sie. Was stimmt denn nun von beidem?


Vielen dank nochmal

Felix

Keswick (Contributor)

Re: Bewerbung BE

Beitrag von Keswick (Contributor) »

Sorry wegen der spaeten Antwort.

You schreibt man (ausser am Satzanfang) immer klein. Die Unterscheidung zwischen DU und SIE gibt es im Englischen nicht. Auch nicht im Schriftlichen.