bitte um korrektur..

Sätze und kurze Texte, die korrigiert wurden
nikey

bitte um korrektur..

Beitrag von nikey »

Hallo zusammen,

ich schreibe übermorgen eine Klausur und hab jetzt mal eine Rede zusammengefaßt. Da meine Sprache nicht so sonderlich ist :rolleyes: :rolleyes: wäre ich sehr dankbar, wenn ihr mal drübergucken könntet.=)

Back Obama illustrates that he traveled around Iowa and was impressed by the dreams that all people share. Everybody has special dreams like jobs with good wages or a good education for their children.All these dreams empty into the AD which promisses a good life for everyone, if a person works hard. Also his mother believed in the AD and came to America. She made his children believe in it, too, and said that people from every rank can be successful. Barack`s reason for coming to America was the same: He believed in the AD and wanted to become a community organizer because of the fact that many people needed help. It is important to make the AD possible for everyone but in many cases the people dont believe in it anymore. The reason is that many AMericans work hard for less and cant improve their situation. Often the wages arent high enough to raise a family. Consequently children cant go into school and dont get a good education. Although many people work hard and meet their responsibilities they dont get the possibility to live a good life. Barack Obama dont accept this and wants to reclaim the AD. Furthermore he describes the problems which he wants to change for example the poverty if many Americans and the unpossibility for Kids to learn. e illustrates that he determines the Bush Asministration. He also reflects that there are many Americans who wants to reclaim the AD but they haven`t the possibility until yet. Barack describes himself as good leadership who helps in every situation because its important not to be a president who is only there when its easy. At the end he illustrates his plans to get to a better life and comforts to believe in the AD with his help.

Was meint ihr?

Dorothy

Re: bitte um korrektur..

Beitrag von Dorothy »

Back Obama illustrates that he travelled around Iowa and was impressed about the dreams that all people are sharing. Everybody has special dreams like well-paid jobs or good education for their children. All these dreams derive from the AD which promises good life for everyone, if working hard. Also his mother believed in the AD and came to America. She made her children believe in it, too, and said that people from every rank could be successful. Obama’s reason for coming to America was the same: He believed in the AD and wanted to become a community organizer, because many people needed help. It is important to make the AD possible for everyone, but often enough ( ) people don’t believe in it any longer. The reason is that many Americans work hard for low wages and can’t improve their situation. Often, wages aren’t high enough to help a family. Consequently, children can’t go to school and don’t get good education. Although many people work hard and meet their responsibilities, they don’t get the possibility to live a better life. Barack Obama doesn’t accept this and wants to reclaim the AD. Furthermore, he describes the problems which he wants to change, for example the poverty of many Americans and the impossibility for kids to get education. He illustrates that he determines the Bush Asministration. He also reflects that there are many Americans who want to reclaim the AD, but they haven`t had the possibility yet. Obama describes himself as a good leader who helps in every situation, because it’s important not only to be president for good times. At the end he illustrates his plans for achieving a better life and encourages people to believe in the AD by his help. : :spin:

Duckduck (Contributor)

Re: bitte um korrektur..

Beitrag von Duckduck (Contributor) »

Hi Dorothy, willkommen im Forum! :)

Wenn Du Deine Korrekturen farblich hervorheben würdest, hätte der Leser es leichter, sie zu finden. Dafür markierst Du im Text und wählst dann eine der Farben aus (sinnvollerweise rot für falsch, einige von uns nehmen grün für Stil und blau für Anmerkungen). Sie erscheinen allerdings erst im Text, wenn Du auf Vorschau geklickt hast.

Viele Grüße
Duckduck

Dorothy

Re: bitte um korrektur..

Beitrag von Dorothy »

Danke vielmals! Ich hatte den Text nach WORD kopiert und dort in rot korrigiert. Nur diese roten Korrekturen sind leider nicht übernommen worden. Man lernt nie aus!!
Liebe Grüße
Dorothy :P

nikey

Re: bitte um korrektur..

Beitrag von nikey »

ich bedanke mich für deine mühe, hat mir sehr weitergeholfen! =)