Auf ein paar Fehler aufmerksam machen wär ne große Hilfe! :)

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Marion:)

Auf ein paar Fehler aufmerksam machen wär ne große Hilfe! :)

Beitrag von Marion:) »

Hallo zusammen :)

Ich habe vor am Freitag meine Hausaufgaben freiwillig meinem Lehrer mitzugeben, um meine Note etwas zu verbessern. Nur es wär was schlecht wenn da auch noch ne menge fehler drin wären :/
Würd mich also richtig freuen wenn jemand kurz einen blick drüber werfen würde und was verbessern würde. ein paar tipps würden mir schon reichen :)

In the story "A pair of Jeans" from Qaisra Shahraz" the pakistani girl Miriam gets home from a school excursion and meets her future parents-in-law in front of her house. The problem is that she doesn't wear the traditional Pakistani suit but her normal dress like a pair of tight jeans, a short vest and a leather jeans. Because of that the behaviour of her in-laws towards her is different as usual when they see Miriam. Because they aren't used to such an appearance they are shocked, ignorant and not even greet her.
When Miriam's mother sees her she can't believe it and is very ashamed of it.
Normally she doesn't care about her daughter's clothes but in front of the guests she reacts strange. While the in-laws were shocked about her appearance because of religious reasons and their culture, her mother just wants to make an impression on them. It's very important for her to impose, especially that her guests don't get the idea that they aren't religious or something else.
So Miriam's mother gets angry with her and can't believe how Miriam could done something like that. With displeasure and dispair she finally send her upstairs to change clothes.
Although Miriam was embarrassed first, she now feels very angry of her mother and her in-laws. In her oppinion her outfit are only clothes and they can't change her personality. But when she puts on her traditional suit she feels like an other person, like she has two different characters and can only live just one of them in the same time. In the end she acts like the others want her to do and goes back downstairs with her other identity, although she doesn't know if it's right.

Ich wär euch wirklich super dankbar wenn ihr mir ein wenig helfen würdet! Müsste nur bis morgen abend sein, da ich es am Freitag brauche. Hab sowas noch nie ins netz gestellt, also erwarte ich nichts zu großes ^^ Vielen dank schon mal im voraus :D

Sam4321

Re: Auf ein paar Fehler aufmerksam machen wär ne große Hilfe! :)

Beitrag von Sam4321 »

In the story "A pair of Jeans" from Qaisra Shahraz" the pakistani girl Miriam gets home from a school excursion and meets her future parents-in-law in front of her house. The problem is that she wears a pair of tight jeans, a short vest and a leather jeans instead of the traditional Pakistani suit. Thats why the behaviour of her in-laws towards her is different as usual when they see Miriam. Because they aren't used to such an appearance they are shocked, ignorant and not even greet her.
When Miriam's mother sees her daughter she can't believe it and is very ashamed of it.
Normally she doesn't care about her daughter's clothes but in front of the guests she reacts strange. While the in-laws were shocked about her appearance because of religious reasons and their culture, her mother just wants to make an impression to them. It is very important for her to impose, especially that her guests don't get the idea that they aren't religious or something else.
So Miriam's mother gets angry with her and can't believe how Miriam could done something like that. With displeasure and dispair she finally send her upstairs to change her clothes.
Although Miriam was embarrassed first, now she feels very angry with her mother and her in-laws. In her oppinion her outfit are only clothes and they can't change her personality. But when she puts on her traditional suit she feels like a different person, like she has two different characters and can only live just one of them in the same time. In the end she acts like the others want her to do and goes back downstairs with her other identity, although she doesn't know if that´s right.


Hhey, !lustig! "a pair of jeans" hab ich auch zu Schulzeiten noch durchgenommen :D naja hab an manchen Stellen bisschen was verändert. Ich finde so liest sich das besser.

Liebe Grüße Sam4321

Duckduck (Contributor)

Re: Auf ein paar Fehler aufmerksam machen wär ne große Hilfe! :)

Beitrag von Duckduck (Contributor) »

Marion:) hat geschrieben:Hallo zusammen :)

Ich habe vor am Freitag meine Hausaufgaben freiwillig meinem Lehrer mitzugeben, um meine Note etwas zu verbessern. Nur es wär was schlecht wenn da auch noch ne menge fehler drin wären :/
Würd mich also richtig freuen wenn jemand kurz einen blick drüber werfen würde und was verbessern würde. ein paar tipps würden mir schon reichen :)

Hi Marion und willkommen im Forum!
Erwarte ruhig ordentlich was von uns, wir sind gar nicht so übel...
:wink:

In the story "A pair of Jeans" by Qaisra Shahraz" the Pakistani girl Miriam comes back home from a school excursion and meets her future parents-in-law in front of her family's house. The problem is that she doesn't wear the traditional Pakistani dress, the Punjabi, but her normal, everyday clothes: a pair of tight jeans, a short vest and a leather jacket. Since her in-laws aren't used to such an outward appearance, they behave differently towards her. They are shocked and ignore her, not even saying hello.
When Miriam's mother sees her, she can't believe her eyes and is very ashamed of her daughter.
Normally she doesn't care about her daughter's clothes but in front of the guests she reacts strangely. Whilst the in-laws are shocked about Miriam's appearance because of religious reasons and their culture, her mother just wants to make a good impression on them. This is very important to her, especially making sure that her guests don't get the idea that the family might not be religious or something of the sort.
So Miriam's mother feels humiliated and gets angry with her daughter. She can't stand Miriam's behaviour and - feeling displeased and desperate - finally sends her upstairs to change her clothes.
Although at first Miriam was embarrassed, she now gets very angry with her mother and her in-laws. In her oppinion her outfit only consists of clothes and can't change her personality. But when she puts on her traditional dress, she feels like another person, as if she really had two different personalities and could only be either the one or the other. In the end she does what the others want her to do and goes back downstairs with her second identity, although she doesn't know if it's right.

Ich wär euch wirklich super dankbar wenn ihr mir ein wenig helfen würdet! Müsste nur bis morgen abend sein, da ich es am Freitag brauche. Hab sowas noch nie ins netz gestellt, also erwarte ich nichts zu großes ^^ Vielen dank schon mal im voraus :D
So, nun wollen wir hoffen, dass der Text Deine Note aufbessert, zumal ja zwischenzeitlich noch eine andere Korrektur passiert ist. Gemeinsam werden wir das Kind schon schaukeln, nicht?

Good luck says
Duckduck :dance:

Marion:)

Re: Auf ein paar Fehler aufmerksam machen wär ne große Hilfe! :)

Beitrag von Marion:) »

Wie super ihr seid !!! :D Dankeschöön! Waren ja wirklich viele fehler drin. Dann gucken wir mal ob der lehrer überhaupt noch welche findet :D echt nett von euch :)