Korrektur von Antworten, Reading Comprehension

[Angelina89]

Hallo liebe Forumsmitglieder,

Ich hab hier mal drei Antworten von mir zu Abituraufgaben von 2002. Mir ist nicht wichtig, ob der Inhalt genau richtig ist,
sondern einfach ob ich mich verständlich und grammatikalisch korrekt ausdrücke.
Wäre auch über ein paar Feedbacks froh, wie ihr mein Englisch so einschätzt.

Liebe Grüße,
Angelina

1. The author criticizes the people who react enthusiastically to new technologies. He refers to the fact that other technological improvements like the first transatlantic telegraph cable were misleadingly considered to be a means to solve international conflicts.
The writer uses this comparison in order to proof his theory, because as history shows us the prejudices and hostilities weren’t diminished after 1858 (e.g. WW. I and II).
Afterwards he corroborates his thesis by mentioning further inventions like aeroplanes (line 17) and the radio (line 21), which were also received with great expectations but never really effected a change of international relationships.

2. Negroponte and Detrouzos assert that the use of the Internet will prevent racism and conflicts among people and will lead to a more peaceful world.
The author is at variance with the two experts because he doubts that war is only a cause of misunderstandings between some persons. He even more thinks that digital communications can cause more damage to international relationships through hate speech and intolerance, especially because it’s difficult for governments to interfere in all happenings around the WorldWideWeb.

3. With regard to a survey which shows that the poorest have rarely Internet access, Bill Clinton suggests that the WorldWideWeb should be available for everyone in order to bridge the digital divide between rich and poor.
Due to the fact that the lower class still shuns the Internet despite costs shrink the author concludes that they simply don’t know how to use it efficiently. In his view it is more necessary to impart basic knowledge like reading and writing.

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Hallo liebe Forumsmitglieder,

Ich hab hier mal drei Antworten von mir zu Abituraufgaben von 2002. Mir ist nicht wichtig, ob der Inhalt genau richtig ist,
sondern einfach ob ich mich verständlich und grammatikalisch korrekt ausdrücke.
Wäre auch über ein paar Feedbacks froh, wie ihr mein Englisch so einschätzt.

Liebe Grüße,
Angelina

1. The author criticizes the people who react enthusiastically to new technologies. He refers to the fact that other technological improvements like the first transatlantic telegraph cable were misleadingly considered to be a means to solve international conflicts.
The writer uses this comparison in order to prove his theory, because as history shows us the prejudices and hostilities weren’t diminished after 1858 (e.g. WW. I and II).
Afterwards he corroborates his thesis by mentioning further inventions like aeroplanes (line 17) and the radio (line 21), which were also received with great expectations but never really effected a change of international relationships.

2. Negroponte and Detrouzos assert that the use of the internet* will prevent racism and conflicts among people and will lead to a more peaceful world.
The author is at variance with the two experts because he doubts that war is only a cause of misunderstandings between some people. Even more he thinks that digital communication can cause more damage to international relationships through hate speech and intolerance, especially because it’s difficult for governments to interfere in all happenings around the world wide web.

3. With regard to a survey which shows that the poorest rarely have internet* access, Bill Clinton suggests that the world wide web should be available for everyone in order to bridge the digital divide between the rich and poor.
Due to the fact that the lower class still shuns the internet* and despite costs shrink (hier fehlt leider komplett der Sinnzusammenhang) the author concludes that they simply don’t know how to use it efficiently. In his opinion it is more important to impart basic knowledge like reading and writing.

(* hier gibt es Diskussionen, ob man Internet nun gross oder klein schreibt, ich schreibe es klein)

[Angelina89]

Hi Keswick,

erst mal vielen Dank für die schnelle Korrektur!

In dem Text wird "the Internet" groß geschrieben, also belass ich es einfach mal dabei. Ist dann die sichere Variante.
Hier mal ein Auszug des Textes bezüglich Frage drei:
What about the belief that the Internet will reduce inequality? According to a study carried out by America's Department of Commerce, households with annual incomes above $75,000 are more than 20 times as likely to have Internet access as the poorest households. Bill Clinton, struck by the "digital divide" between rich and poor, argues that universal Internet access would help to reduce income inequality.

But, as the cost of using the Internet continues to fall, the true reason for the digital divide between rich and poor will become apparent. The poor are not shunning the Internet because they cannot afford it: the problem is that they lack the skills to exploit it effectively. So it is difficult to see how connecting the poor to the Internet will improve their finances. It would make more sense to aim for universal literacy than universal Internet access.

Und mein Satz sollte dann bedeuten:
Aufgrund der Tatsache, dass die Unterschicht das Internet trotz sinkender Kosten immernoch meidet, folgert...

Mir fällt gerade auf, dass ich vllt an den letzten Satz "to reduce income inequality" anhängen sollte. Oder hat da jemanden eine bessere Formulierung?