Facharbeit

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sara

Facharbeit

Beitrag von sara »

Hallo, alle zusammen und zwar würde ich mich riesig darüber freuen wenn ihr mal meine erste Seite von meine Facharbeit Korrektur lesen würdet und mir eure Meinung sagt.

Also mein Thema ist Globalisierung und Dritte Welt Länder (Gesundheit & Entwicklung)
& hier ist das gute Stück zum Lesen :)

Introduction: What is globalization and what has it to do with my topic?

The word “globalization” means a global interlacing between countries worldwide. This is the reason why we can import and export such things we don’t have like for example tropical fruits (bananas, coconuts and other things). We not only import provisions but luxury goods like technology from Asia and other developing countries. You should conceive that this globalization is a kind of circulatory. So you have to notice that we also export our goods like cars, BMW’s, Mercedes to the U.S. and to Asia. Big companies in Europe distribute their maximization of profits all over the world. Here they use the cheapest human labour, there the most productive technology, somewhere else the lowest taxation. Multinational groups enable the globalization enormous growth and enormous profits. For many people in poor countries globalization pre-eminently means unscrupulous exploitation through large enterprises. But others hope for economic development and work. The technical improvement is the basis of globalization. Political foundation is liberalization of the world trades (http://www.globalisierung...)
That is a far cry from saying that globalization is something positive because there are lots of disadvantages in poor countries like in the Third World (Burkina Faso, Mali, Tansania ...). The most important aspect of globalization is the growing gab between rich and poor. This should be my main topic. But now maybe you ask yourself what that has to do with globalization? Here is the answer. “Globalization in Third World countries” tells you something about the other side of globalization. It informs you about Africans, who live in bad circumstances and as the subtitle says about health and development. So the reader gets to know in what a bad situation most people in Third World countries are and that people like us could change this situation. The biggest problem is that people who do not live in these conditions forget these victims and they do not feel involved. But only they are able to break the lockstep. My topic is actually supposed to show how bad globalization matters for these people. They left them in the lurch and so they become “the losers” in the globalization process. Isn’t it unfair that they don’t feel responsible for what they do? They are awashing in money while the others are on the breadline. Those are causes for their failing health and its development. I want to cover this topic, because I think that it especially shows that societies are unworthy of being in such a bad situation.

vielen danke im vorraus :)

joy

Re: Facharbeit

Beitrag von joy »

sara hat geschrieben:Hallo, alle zusammen und zwar würde ich mich riesig darüber freuen wenn ihr mal meine erste Seite von meine Facharbeit Korrektur lesen würdet und mir eure Meinung sagt.

Also mein Thema ist Globalisierung und Dritte Welt Länder (Gesundheit & Entwicklung)
& hier ist das gute Stück zum Lesen :)

Introduction: What is globalization and what has it to do with my topic?

The word “globalization” means a global interlacing between countries worldwide. This is the reason why we can import and export such things we don’t have like for example tropical fruits (bananas, coconuts and other things). We not only import provisions but luxury goods like technology from Asia and other developing countries. You should conceive that this globalization is a kind of circulatory. So you have to notice that we also export our goods like cars, BMW’s, Mercedes to the U.S. and to Asia. Big companies in Europe distribute their maximization of profits all over the world. Here they use the cheapest human labour, there the most productive technology, somewhere else the lowest taxation. Multinational groups enable the globalization enormous growth and enormous profits. For many people in poor countries globalization pre-eminently means unscrupulous exploitation through large enterprises. But others hope for economic development and work. The technical improvement is the basis of globalization. Political foundation is liberalization of the world trades (http://www.globalisierung...)
That is a far cry from saying that globalization is something positive because there are lots of disadvantages in poor countries like in the Third World (Burkina Faso, Mali, Tansania ...). The most important aspect of globalization is the growing gab between rich and poor. This should be my main topic. But now maybe you ask yourself what that has to do with globalization? Here is the answer. “Globalization in Third World countries” tells you something about the other side of globalization. It informs you about Africans, who live in bad circumstances and as the subtitle says about health and development. So the reader gets to know in what a bad situation most people in Third World countries are and that people like us could change this situation. The biggest problem is that people who do not live in these conditions forget these victims and so that they do not feel involved. But only they are able to break the lockstep. My topic is actually supposed to show how bad globalization matters for these people. They left them in the lurch and so they become “the losers” in the globalization process. Isn’t it unfair that they don’t feel responsible for what they do? They are awashing in with money while the others are on the breadline. Those are causes for their failing health and its development. I want to cover this topic, because I think that it especially shows that societies are unworthy of being in such a bad situation.

Hi Sara
Das ist wirklich ein gutes Stück!
Vielleicht schaut es noch jemand anders an.
Schönen Tag
joy

Duckduck (Contributor)

Re: Facharbeit

Beitrag von Duckduck (Contributor) »

Introduction: What is globalization and what does it have to do with my topic?

The word “globalization” means a global interlacing between countries worldwide. Due to this phenomenon, we can import the things we do not have, for example tropical fruits (bananas, coconuts and other things). We do not only import provisions but luxury goods like technology from Asia and other developing(Asien wird Dir was husten, wenn Du es zu den Entwicklungsländern zählst..) countries as well. But that is not all. You should picture globalization to yourself as a kind of circle. That means, we also export our goods like cars (BMWs, Mercedes) to the USA and to Asia. In order to maximise their profits, big companies in Europe distribute their production all over the world. Here they use the cheapest human labour, there the most productive technology, somewhere else the lowest taxation. Globalization allows multinational groups enormous growth and enormous profits. For many people in poor countries, though, globalization pre-eminently means unscrupulous exploitation by large enterprises. But others hope for economic development and work. Technical improvement is the basis of globalization, and its political foundation is the liberalization of the world trades. (http://www.globalisierung...)
That is a far cry from saying that globalization is something positive because there are lots of disadvantages for poor countries in the Third World (Burkina Faso, Mali, Tansania ...). The most important negative aspect of globalization is the growing gap between the rich and the poor. This disparity will be the main topic of this paper. Maybe you will ask yourselves what this has got to do with globalization? Here is the answer. “Globalization in Third World countries” tells you something about the other side of globalization. It will give you information about Africans, who have to live under horrible circumstances and - as the subtitle indicates - about the state of the health system and general development in these countries. But the reader is not only informed about the state of things but is also advised of ways in which we can help to improve the living conditions of these poor people. One of the biggest problems is that people who do not live under these conditions tend to forget these victims and do not feel involved. But only we (the people living in the rich countries) are able to break through this vicious circle. Actually, my paper is supposed to show how strongly the impact of globalization affects these people. It leaves them in the lurch and so they become “the losers” in the globalization process. Is it not unfair that the rich do not feel responsible for what they do? They are hoarding money while the others are on the breadline. The continuing lack of money causes failing health and lack of development. I want to cover this topic, because I think that people need to be made aware of the fact that no human being deserves to live under circumstances like these.

Hallo Sara, erschrick nicht, es ist doch einiges grün, d.h. hier sind Vorschläge für den Stil, manchmal aber auch Notwendigkeiten, weil es ursprünglich missverständlich war. Der Text an sich ist sehr gut, aber beachte: im formellen Schriftlichen benutze keine Kurzformen (isn't), achte auf Umgangssprache (to leave in the lurch) und entscheide, ob Du BrE oder AmE schreiben willst, Bsp. globalization = AmE, Dein Text an sich ist eher BrE, also dann mit s schreiben. Und mache unbedingt Absätze, weil es sich sonst beschwerlich liest. Weiter so!!!

Well done!
Good luck says
Duckduck