Essay- Correction please :)

Sätze und kurze Texte, die korrigiert wurden
J.P.

Essay- Correction please :)

Beitrag von J.P. »

Would anyboy pls correct this essay,which isn't finished yet,but I'd like to now if i had even mad some mistakes


In the news you are often able to hear about violent acts of hooligans. It seems that sport more encourages hostilities than integrating different members of ethnic groups in the society. I will discuss now if this is true or if it is an incorrect statement .

Let us start by considering, that sport has a very important appointment in the society. Therefore sport games, e.g. a football game is in some (poor) countries a proxy for a war. In fact of that this nation takes this game as important as nothing else. If Iran plays versus the Iraq, and Iraq, which has one player with Iranian descent, loses, then this player surely will be discriminated and has to live with the fear of becoming a victim of an assault. In addition to that, we are able to say, that some people, who are not the majority, take sport competition too serious and are reacting very aggressive if their favourite club is losing a match. On top of that this fans are promoting racist taunts, because they want to provoke the society and to call attention to themselves. In the media this scenes are often published ,but only the minority of fans behave like this. And their getting their comeuppance (punishment).
But let us not turn to the other side, that sport integrates different members of ethnic groups in the society. If you are member of a sport team, you will be respected because every part of this team is important for the success, and therefore everybody will tolerate you and your traditions. A player whose religion says, that he has to fast 2 months, is even supported from his team. However


Thank you :D

J.P.

Re: Essay- Correction please :)

Beitrag von J.P. »

so jetzt mal der ganze :D

könnte ihn vllt jmd durchschauen-wär total nett...


MfG

In the news you are often able to hear about violent acts of hooligans. It seems that sport more encourages hostilities than integrating different members of ethnic groups in the society. I will discuss now if this is true or if it is an incorrect statement.

Let us start by considering, that sport has a very important appointment in the society. Therefore sport games, e.g. a football game is in some (poor) countries a proxy for a war. In fact of that a nation takes this game as important as nothing else. If Iran plays versus the Iraq, and Iraq, which has one player with Iranian descent, loses, then this player surely will be discriminated and has to live with the fear of becoming a victim of an assault. In addition to that, we are able to say, that some people, who are not the majority, take sport competition too serious and are reacting very aggressive if their favourite club is losing a match. On top of that this fans are promoting racist taunts, because they want to provoke the society and to call attention to themselves. In the media this scenes are often published, but only the minority of fans behave like this. And they are getting their comeuppance (punishment).
But let us not turn to the other side, that sport integrates different members of ethnic groups in the society. If you are member of a sport team, you will be respected because every part of this team is important for the success, and therefore everybody will tolerate you and your traditions. A player whose religion says, that he has to fast 2 months, is even supported from his team. However the most important argument is, that sport is getting a lot of people much closer together, independently of their descent or their traditions. In the time of the Football World Cup people from all over the world come to enjoy one of the biggest events of the world. As you could see in the World Cup 2006 in Germany, people from different countries were celebrating parties on the streets and were hugging each other.
All in all I am of the opinion that sport really helps to integrate people, not only member of different ethnic groups, even everybody is well integrated in a sports club or a fan community.