Correction

[Celedi]

Hello everybody !
I wrote a text but I am a worse writer and i please you to correct this text . Thanks !


I personally deify the trilogy. The author’s notation is admirable. I like, particularly the point of view of the djinn Bartimaeus, because the story is written in an unusual ironical and funny way so that everybody enjoys reading it.
Another aspect that has fascinated me about the book is the footnote. The footnotes are annotations like internal monologues, bygone events or a detailed explanation, an adjunct or even a comment related to the relative sentence. I always imagine that time stops so that Bartimaeus can turn his face to his readers and speak with them calmly and without haste.
Another thing which was greatly invented by Stroud are the 7, or even 8 planes. The first plane contains all physical things and is the ordinary plane which is visible for everyone. The planes second and third can reveal someone’s emotions, intent or lie and are invisible to humans. However, magicians can use lenses too see these planes and spirits can – depending on their level and strength – see up to the seventh plane. When spirits are on earth they had to assume a definite shape, because in the Other Place – the world of the demons –the demons are shapeless and have no distinct identities, but are merely a single consciousness. This shape – f.e. a dog, a bird, an Egyptian boy (which is Bartimaeus favorite disguise) - can be noticed by a more powerful spirit but not by a lesser spirit or humans. When spirits are on earth they have a set appearance on the 7th plane that never changes. Although it was never mentioned in the book, I really wonder how Bartimaeus could look like on the seventh plane.
What I really liked was the ending of the story. Stroud renounced on a happy-ending and manages to write a different end.
Over the course of the trilogy, Nathaniel the innocent young boy, hungry for knowledge, is transformed into the arrogant John Mandrake. By the end of book three, however, he becomes more responsible and honorable, more like his younger self. He becomes more self-conscious, helps destroy an evil demon, and saves Bartimaeus much as Ptolemy had done. The author wants to convey that we must not mistreat others. Everyone should be equal. But unfortunately people change when they become famous or rich.

[joy]

Hi Celedi

It’s interesting to read your writing.
I have made some corrections, but further proof-readers are welcomed.


I personally deify the trilogy. The author’s notation is admirable. I like, particularly the point of view of thedjinn Bartimaeus, because the story is written in an unusual ironical and funny way so that everybody enjoys reading it.
Another aspect of the book that has fascinated me is the footnote. The footnotes are annotations like inner monologues, bygone events or a detailed explanation, an adjunct or even a comment related to the relative sentence. I always imagine that time stops so that Bartimaeus can turn his face to his readers and speak with them calmly and without haste.
Another thing which was greatly invented by Stroud are the 7, or even 8 planes. The first plane contains all physical things and is the ordinary plane which is visible for everyone. The planes second and third can reveal someone’s emotions, intent or lie and are invisible to humans. However, magicians can – depending on their level and strength – use lenses to see these planes and spirits up to the seventh plane.
When spirits are on earth they have to assume a definite shape, because in the Other Place – the world of the demons – the demons are shapeless and have no distinct identities, but are merely a single consciousness. This shape – f.e. a dog, a bird, an Egyptian boy (which is Bartimaeus’ favorite disguise) - can be noticed by a more powerful spirit but not by a lesser spirit or humans. When spirits are on earth they have a set appearance on the 7th plane that never changes. Although it was never mentioned in the book, I really wonder how Bartimaeus could look like on the seventh plane.
What I really like is the ending of the story. Stroud renounced on a happy-ending and managed to write a different end.
Over the course of the trilogy, Nathaniel, the innocent young boy, hungry for knowledge, (eager to learn) is transformed into the arrogant John Mandrake. By the end of the book three, however, he becomes more responsible and honorable, more like his younger self. He becomes more self-conscious, helps destroy an evil demon, and saves Bartimaeus as much as Ptolemy did. The author wants to convey that we must not mistreat others. Everyone should be equal. But unfortunately people change when they become famous or rich.

Have fun!
joy

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Hello everybody !
I wrote a text but I am not an expert writer (I think your text is remarkably good!) and I would like you to correct it. Thanks ! (Of course we will!) Hi joy, as usual I'm too late ...


Personally speaking, I love/adore ("deify" bedeutet vergöttern im Sinn dass man etwas tatsächlich zum Gott erhebt, hier etwas übertrieben, nicht?) the "Bartimaeus trilogy" by Jonathan Stroud. The author’s style is admirable. I particularly like the point of view of the djinn Bartimaeus, because the story is written in an unusual, ironical and funny way so that everybody enjoys reading it.
Another aspect that has fascinated me about the book are the footnotes. They are annotations like internal monologues about bygone events or a detailed explanation, an adjunct or even a comment on the relative sentence. I always imagine that time stops so that Bartimaeus can turn his face to his readers and speak to them calmly and without haste.
Another great invention of Stroud's imagination are the 7, or even 8 planes. The first plane contains all physical things and is the ordinary plane which is visible for everyone. The planes two and three can reveal someone’s emotions, intent or lie and are invisible to humans. However, magicians can use lenses too see these planes and spirits can – depending on their level and strength – see up to the seventh plane. When spirits are on earth they have to assume a definite shape, because in the Other Place – the world of the demons –the demons are shapeless and have no distinct identities, but are merely a single consciousness. This shape – e.g. a dog, a bird, an Egyptian boy (which is Bartimaeus' favourite disguise) - can be noticed by a more powerful spirit but not by a lesser spirit or humans. When spirits are on earth they have a set appearance on the 7th plane that never changes. Although it is never mentioned in the book, I really wonder what Bartimaeus would look like on the seventh plane.
What I really liked was the ending of the story. Stroud goes without a happy-ending and manages to write a different end.
Over the course of the trilogy, Nathaniel, the innocent young boy, hungry for knowledge, is being transformed into the arrogant John Mandrake. By the end of book three, however, he becomes more responsible and honorable, more like his younger self. He becomes more self-conscious, helps destroy an evil demon, and saves Bartimaeus much as Ptolemy had done. Da ich die Bücher nicht kenne, verstehe ich hier nicht ganz, was Du meinst). The author wants to convey the idea that we must not mistreat others. Everyone should be equal. But, unfortunately, people change when they become famous or rich.

Great text, Celedi. And tell you what: I just ordered the books because your essay made me curious...

Good luck says
Duckduck

[Celedi]

HERE IS THE SECOND PART OF MY TEXT

i would like you to correct it, thanks a lot !


Another message that Stroud has set out to us readers is the human-djinni conflict which was unearthed by the third protagonist Kitty Jones. Humans and spirits are locked into an endless cycle where humans do not understand the nature of djinni and summon them only as powerful, but dangerous, slaves, not equals. This theory is confirmed by Bartimaeus who states that his greatest master, Ptolemy, was the only human who treated his servants as equals and tried to build a bridge between djinni and humans.
My favorite book of the trilogy was the first volume due to the Mandrake/Lovelace conflict.
Considerably curious was the advancement of Nathaniel to John Mandrake. How he managed to summon his first lower spirit up to his theft of the Amulet of Samarkand with the help of Bartimaeus. Nathaniel was since his childhood a clever boy and eager for knowledge. By far cleverer than his master and stepfather Arthur Underwood expected. Underwood thought always that his apprentice would be a foolish, good-for-nothing tyke who is unable to do anything. I can remember when Underwood wanted to teach Nathaniel how to summon a mite – the weakest spirit - , whereat Nathaniel already was able to summon a djinn, or even higher entities though.
Now why I have chosen this topic for my Spezialgebiet? I’m someone who is a fan of fantasy books and I have big interest in magic and like unrealistic books. Therefore I have chosen this topic for my oral Matura.
A lot of people said that this topic is childish and it is not good that I - as an high-school graduate (Maturant) – have selected this trilogy. But I have to say, that I do not believe that most of the junior readers have understood the background and even the main plot. Furthermore Stroud has announced to release a “Bartimaes bible”. We see how complex the coherences are and how much open-ended questions there are.
My result is definitely positive and I am happy and eager to know how the trilogy will continue, precisely because the author has announced a forth volume. I recommend it to everyone because it is a fantastic book and you won’t regret it.

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

HERE IS THE SECOND PART OF MY TEXT

I would like you to correct it, thanks a lot !
Here we go, then...

Another message that Stroud has set out to present to the reader is the conflict between humans and djinni, which was unearthed by the third protagonist Kitty Jones. Humans and spirits are trapped in an endless cycle, because humans do not understand the nature of djinni and summon them only as powerful, but dangerous, slaves, not as equals. This theory is confirmed by Bartimaeus who states that his greatest master, Ptolemy, is the only human who treats his servants as equals and tries to build a bridge between djinni and humans. (Ich schlage vor, dass Du im Präsens bleibst. Du hast ja die Beschreibung bisher auch in dieser Zeitform gehalten, OK?)
The first volume of the trilogy is my favorite because of the Mandrake/Lovelace conflict.
The description of Nathaniel's advancement to John Mandrake makes for considerably curious (neugierig? oder vielleicht exciting?) reading. Especially the part, where he manages - with Bartimaeus' help - to summon up his first lower spirit for?? his theft of the Amulet of Samarkand. From his childhood on, Nathaniel has always been a clever boy and eager for knowledge. Even cleverer by far than his master and stepfather Arthur Underwood expects. Underwood has always thought that his apprentice is a foolish, good-for-nothing tyke, unable to do anything properly. I remember the passage when Underwood wants to teach Nathaniel how to summon a mite – the weakest spirit - at a time when Nathaniel, however, can already summon a djinn, or even higher entities.
Now, why have I chosen this topic for my Spezialgebiet/special field in the oral Matura? Simply because I am a fan of fantasy books and I am very interested in novels about magic and the like.
A lot of people may say that this topic is childish and not an adequate choice for a high-school graduate (Maturant). But I would like to say, I do not believe that many of the junior readers have thoroughly understood the background or even the main plot. Furthermore, Stroud has announced to release a “Bartimaeus bible”. By this we realise how complex the coherences are and how many open-ended questions there still are.
My conclusion is definitely positive and I am happy and eager to know how the trilogy will continue, precisely because the author has announced a forth volume. I recommend the books to everyone because they are fantastic and you will not regret reading them.

Puuh, gut gemacht.
Viel Glück bei der (für die, wie sagt man bei Euch??) Matura!

Grüße
Duckduck

[Celedi]

HERE IS THE SECOND PART OF MY TEXT

I would like you to correct it, thanks a lot !
Here we go, then...

Another message that Stroud has set out to present to the reader is the conflict between humans and djinni, which was unearthed by the third protagonist Kitty Jones. Humans and spirits are trapped in an endless cycle, because humans do not understand the nature of djinni and summon them only as powerful, but dangerous, slaves, not as equals. This theory is confirmed by Bartimaeus who states that his greatest master, Ptolemy, is the only human who treats his servants as equals and tries to build a bridge between djinni and humans. (Ich schlage vor, dass Du im Präsens bleibst. Du hast ja die Beschreibung bisher auch in dieser Zeitform gehalten, OK?)
The first volume of the trilogy is my favorite because of the Mandrake/Lovelace conflict.
The description of Nathaniel's advancement to John Mandrake makes for considerably curious (neugierig? oder vielleicht exciting?) reading. Especially the part, where he manages - with Bartimaeus' help - to summon up his first lower spirit for?? his theft of the Amulet of Samarkand. From his childhood on, Nathaniel has always been a clever boy and eager for knowledge. Even cleverer by far than his master and stepfather Arthur Underwood expects. Underwood has always thought that his apprentice is a foolish, good-for-nothing tyke, unable to do anything properly. I remember the passage when Underwood wants to teach Nathaniel how to summon a mite – the weakest spirit - at a time when Nathaniel, however, can already summon a djinn, or even higher entities.
Now, why have I chosen this topic for my Spezialgebiet/special field in the oral Matura? Simply because I am a fan of fantasy books and I am very interested in novels about magic and the like.
A lot of people may say that this topic is childish and not an adequate choice for a high-school graduate (Maturant). But I would like to say, I do not believe that many of the junior readers have thoroughly understood the background or even the main plot. Furthermore, Stroud has announced to release a “Bartimaeus bible”. By this we realise how complex the coherences are and how many open-ended questions there still are.
My conclusion is definitely positive and I am happy and eager to know how the trilogy will continue, precisely because the author has announced a forth volume. I recommend the books to everyone because they are fantastic and you will not regret reading them.

Puuh, gut gemacht.
Viel Glück bei der (für die, wie sagt man bei Euch??) Matura!

Grüße
Duckduck

Hallo Duckduck! Ich bin froh, dass es Menschen wie dich gibt. Ich bin dir unendlich dankbar und habe gerade mein Spezialgebiet fertig geschrieben. Das einzige was mir noch gefehlt hatte war: That wants the author to convey? Also his message. Die kopiere ich dir hier, damit Sie so nett wären.... Aber ich muss es morgen schon abgeben, und ich weiss nicht ob Sie es schaffen bis morgen zu korrigieren, auch deshalb weil der ADMIN diese Nachricht erst freigeben muss, und das dauert auch eine Weile.


Hier der TEXT:

THE MESSAGE:

The author wants to convey the idea that everyone should - independent of their differences - be equal. He wants to say us not to mistreat each other and show mutually respect. In the trilogy Kitty Jones tried to build up a bridge between humans and djinns and bring this conflict to an end. She also stands for equality between magicians and non-magicians, the so-called commoners. This lead to join the resistance group called “Resistance” to fight for the rights of the commoners and defy the magicians-class.
The second message he has given us is the changing of one’s personality, such as Nathaniel, who transformed over the course of the trilogy from a nice, innocent young boy to an arrogant, mean, cruel and merciless adult, who treat his slaves - the spirits - with disdain - above all Bartimaeus, who is kept/trapped long time on earth, and thus his essence weakens. His essence becomes weaker the longer he stays on earth and his strength will be reduced as his essence is what defines him. His essence can only be nourished in Other Place, his home. However, he changed at the end of the trilogy back again to his primary character and dismissed Bartimaeus at the last moment and sacrificed himself to destroy the spirit Nouda. This incident was similar to what Ptolemy did in the moments before he died. Ptolemy was a benevolent master, who wished to learn from the spirits he summoned rather than subjugate them into slavery, and was described by Bartimaeus as his most beloved master.
The possibly third message shows how easily an empire can rise, but fall too. Just like Ptolemy’s Gate represented. When people do not agree/are unhappy with the government, then an opposition will be formed and then this opposition will try to overthrow this government. We can take e.g the situation in Iran. Most of the Iranian people accuse the Iranian government of election fraud. Women have not the freedom they need. Alcohols and discos are forbidden. Plenty of websites are filtered. Newspapers are under control of the government, not only the media but the whole media is under censorship. The Iranians do not want to see death penalties anymore. They do not want to love hidden. Instead of feeding our own nation, they sell our oil to Arabian countries to a spot price. They support hamas. What interest us the conflict between Israel and Palestine?
At the time 70 % of Iran’s population is under the age of 30. I do not think that the Iranians put up with everything and I believe that this regime, the Islamic republic, will fall apart soon.

PS: Von Ptolemy ist im Buch nur erzählt worden. Zur Zeit der Handlung war er schon längst tod, deshalb have ich auch die vergangenheit verwendet.
PS: Es freut mich, dass Sie die Bücher bestellt haben ! Ich hab Ihnen auch geschrieben aber anscheinend hat der Herr Admin die Nachricht nicht freigegeben....

MfG
Elias

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

HERE IS THE SECOND PART OF MY TEXT

I would like you to correct it, thanks a lot !
Here we go, then...

Another message that Stroud has set out to present to the reader is the conflict between humans and djinni, which was unearthed by the third protagonist Kitty Jones. Humans and spirits are trapped in an endless cycle, because humans do not understand the nature of djinni and summon them only as powerful, but dangerous, slaves, not as equals. This theory is confirmed by Bartimaeus who states that his greatest master, Ptolemy, is the only human who treats his servants as equals and tries to build a bridge between djinni and humans. (Ich schlage vor, dass Du im Präsens bleibst. Du hast ja die Beschreibung bisher auch in dieser Zeitform gehalten, OK?)
The first volume of the trilogy is my favorite because of the Mandrake/Lovelace conflict.
The description of Nathaniel's advancement to John Mandrake makes for considerably curious (neugierig? oder vielleicht exciting?) reading. Especially the part, where he manages - with Bartimaeus' help - to summon up his first lower spirit for?? his theft of the Amulet of Samarkand. From his childhood on, Nathaniel has always been a clever boy and eager for knowledge. Even cleverer by far than his master and stepfather Arthur Underwood expects. Underwood has always thought that his apprentice is a foolish, good-for-nothing tyke, unable to do anything properly. I remember the passage when Underwood wants to teach Nathaniel how to summon a mite – the weakest spirit - at a time when Nathaniel, however, can already summon a djinn, or even higher entities.
Now, why have I chosen this topic for my Spezialgebiet/special field in the oral Matura? Simply because I am a fan of fantasy books and I am very interested in novels about magic and the like.
A lot of people may say that this topic is childish and not an adequate choice for a high-school graduate (Maturant). But I would like to say, I do not believe that many of the junior readers have thoroughly understood the background or even the main plot. Furthermore, Stroud has announced to release a “Bartimaeus bible”. By this we realise how complex the coherences are and how many open-ended questions there still are.
My conclusion is definitely positive and I am happy and eager to know how the trilogy will continue, precisely because the author has announced a forth volume. I recommend the books to everyone because they are fantastic and you will not regret reading them.

Puuh, gut gemacht.
Viel Glück bei der (für die, wie sagt man bei Euch??) Matura!

Grüße
Duckduck


Hallo Duckduck! Ich bin froh, dass es Menschen wie dich gibt. Ich bin dir unendlich dankbar und habe gerade mein Spezialgebiet fertig geschrieben. Das einzige was mir noch gefehlt hatte war: What does the author want to convey? Also his message. Die kopiere ich dir hier, damit Du so nett wärst.... Aber ich muss es morgen schon abgeben, und ich weiss nicht ob Du es schaffst, bis morgen zu korrigieren, auch deshalb weil der ADMIN diese Nachricht erst freigeben muss, und das dauert auch eine Weile.


Hier der TEXT:

THE MESSAGE:

The aim of the author is to convey the idea that everyone is created equal - no matter what the differences may be. He wants to teach us not to mistreat each other and show mutually respect. In the trilogy Kitty Jones tries to build up a bridge between humans and djinns and bring this conflict to an end. She also stands for equality between magicians and non-magicians, the so-called commoners. This lead to join the resistance group called “Resistance” to fight for the rights of the commoners and defy the magicians-class. (das verstehe ich nicht)
Stroud's second message is about the possible risks that accompany the changing of one’s character. Over the course of the trilogy, Nathaniel is converted from a nice, innocent young boy into an arrogant, mean, cruel and merciless adult. He treats his slaves - the spirits - with disdain. Especially Bartimaeus has to suffer, who is forcefully?? kept on earth for a long time, by which his essence is weakened. The longer he has to stay the more his strength is reduced, as his essence is what defines him. His only chance to nourish it lies in the?? Other Place, his home. However, at the end of the trilogy, Nathaniel again changes his personality. He dismisses Bartimaeus at the last minute and sacrifices himself to destroy the spirit Nouda. This incident resembles Ptolemy's actions in the moments before his death. Ptolemy was a benevolent master, who wished to learn from the spirits. He summoned them rather than subjugate them into slavery, and is described by Bartimaeus as his most beloved master.
The third message shows the reader how easily an empire can rise, but also fall again. Just as in "Ptolemy’s Gate": If people are unhappy with their government, an opposition will be formed and then this opposition will try to overthrow the government. And as like as not they will be successful.We can take the situation in Iran. Most of the Iranian people accuse the Iranian government of election fraud. Women have not the freedom they need. Alcohols and discos are forbidden. Plenty of websites are filtered. Newspapers are under control of the government, not only the media but the whole media is under censorship. The Iranians do not want to see death penalties anymore. They do not want to love hidden. Instead of feeding our own nation, they sell our oil to Arabian countries to a spot price. They support hamas. What interest us the conflict between Israel and Palestine?
At the time 70 % of Iran’s population is under the age of 30. I do not think that the Iranians put up with everything and I believe that this regime, the Islamic republic, will fall apart soon. Über diesen Teil würde ich an Deiner Stelle nochmal nachdenken. Ich habe den Eindruck, dass er wie "drangeklatscht" wirkt und auch in dem Zusammenhang eigentlich ein zu ernstes Thema behandelt, welches Du in ein paar Sätzen nicht angemessen darstellen kannst. Vielleicht nimmst Du besser kein reales Beispiel oder eines aus der Geschichte, vielleicht das Ende der DDR?. Genau raten kann ich Dir nicht, da ich die Bücher noch nicht kenne.

PS: Von Ptolemy ist im Buch nur erzählt worden. Zur Zeit der Handlung war er schon längst tot, deshalb habe ich auch die Vergangenheit verwendet. OK
PS: Es freut mich, dass Du die Bücher bestellt hast ! Ich hab Dir auch geschrieben, aber anscheinend hat der Herr Admin die Nachricht nicht freigegeben....
Macht nichts.
Viel Glück, Elias!

Duckduck