personal description über Michael Jackson..

[1mAtRiX9]

Hallo members,
Ich Habe über die Weihnachtsferien personal description über Michael Jackson aufbekommen. Und da ich normal nicht sehr stark in Englisch bin halt in der Gramantike bzw. Rechschreibung ob mir den text vllt jemand korrigieren könnte oda vllt noch irgend was dazu schreibe, weil ich muss 5 min vortragen..

Hello my name is ………………. and I’m 15 years old. I live in ………………. with my mom and dad and my Sister.
Dates:
Today I will tell you something about Michael Jackson and his family. Nearly everybody knows the name Michael Jackson, but do you know some backgrounds, for example his family and career?
So I begin my presentation with the dates of Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson´s full name is Michael Joseph Jackson and his nicknames were King of Pop an Jacko Wacko He was born on the 29th of August 1958 in Gary, Indiana. Gary is a town with 99.000 inhabitant and the town is northwest the USA. He was grow up to a big family with nine children, five brother and three sisters, and everyone in the family was musical.
Career:
At the age four he and his brothers, Marlon, Tito, Jackie and Jermaine formed Jackson 5 and the group quickly rose to worldwide fame.
Michael Jackson began his musical career at the age of 5 as the singer of The Jackson 5 and released his first solo recording. In 1968 the Jackson 5 signed a contract with Motown records and only a year later they achieved their first number one US single with the song I want you back. In 1971 Michael Jackson released his first solo single. It wasn’t until 1979, that he released his first solo album and in 1980 he won his first Grammy Award
He began a then a full-fledged solo career in 1979 an formally with his brothers und sisters in 1984. And the Album Thriller was the biggest selling album of all time was released by Michael Jackson. He also performed the moonwalk for the first time on TV.
Private life:
Now I will tell you something about the private life of Michael Jackson and his look. He have 3 kids: Paris (), Prince Michael(). And Prince Michael Jackson II.
Michael Jackson was the most famous and richest Singer of the USA and he had a fortune of 1 billions Dollar. In my Opinion I think Michael Jackson was the most famous and richest Singer of the World. From 1988 to 2005 Michael Jackson lived on his Neverland Ranch prooerty, on which he built an amusement park and private zoo for children.
And now tell you something about his style. He had black hair and his eye colour was brown. He was 1,78 tall, but he often change is Style.
J chose this topic, because I’m not real big fan of Michael Jackson, but I think Michael Jackson is the King of pop. This was my presentation, I hope it was interesting.

Würde mich auf schnelle Korrektur freuen..
mfg 1matRiX9

[joy]

Hi
Im letzten Abschnitt hast du Singer und Singer of the World gross geschrieben. Extra? Oder müsste es klein geschrieben sein, wie es richtig wäre.
Band Namen und Liedertitel würde ich in Klammern setzen.

Den Wunsch irgendwas dazuzuschreiben können wir dir nicht erfüllen, da wir keine Hausaufgaben machen, nur die Korrekturen.

Korrigierte Wörter habe ich gross geschrieben oder wenn dies ungünstig war, in Klammern gesetzt.
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Hello my name is ………………. and I’m 15 years old. I live in ………………. with my mom and dad and my Sister (sister).
Dates:
Today I will tell you something about Michael Jackson and his family. Nearly everybody knows the name Michael Jackson, but do you know THE FAMILY OR career BACKGROUND?
So I begin my presentation with the dates of Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson´s full name is Michael Joseph Jackson and his nicknames were King of Pop AND Jacko Wacko. (PUNKT) He was born on the 29th of August 1958 in Gary, Indiana. Gary is a town with 99.000 INHABITANTS and the town is IN THE northwest OF the USA. He GREW up IN a big family with nine children; five BROTHERS and three sisters, and everyone in the family was musical.
Career:
At the age OF four he and his brothers, Marlon, Tito, Jackie and Jermaine formed “The Jackson 5” and the group quickly rose to worldwide fame.
Michael Jackson began his musical career at the age of 5 as the singer of The Jackson 5 and released his first solo recording. In 1968 the (The - GROSS SCHREIBEN) Jackson 5 signed a contract with Motown records and only a year later they achieved their first number one US single with the song I want you back. In 1971 Michael Jackson released his first solo single. It wasn’t until 1979, that he released his first solo album and in 1980 he won his first Grammy Award. (PUNKT)
He began a then a full-fledged solo career in 1979 an formally with his brothers und sisters in 1984.(VERSTEHE DEN OBIGEN SATZ NICHT) And the Album Thriller was the biggest selling album of all time WHICH was released by Michael Jackson. He also performed the moonwalk for the first time on TV.
Private life:
Now I will tell you something about the private life of Michael Jackson and his look. He HAD 3 kids: Paris (), Prince Michael(). And Prince Michael Jackson II.
Michael Jackson was the most famous and richest Singer of the USA and he had a fortune of 1 BILLION Dollar. In my opinion (Opinion KLEIN SCHREIBEN und I think WEGLASSEN) Michael Jackson was the most famous and richest Singer of the World. From 1988 to 2005 Michael Jackson lived on his Neverland Ranch PROPERTY, on which he built an amusement park and (a) private zoo for children.
And now I WILL tell you something about his style. He had black hair and his eye colour was brown. He was 1,78 tall, but he often CHANGED his style.
I chose this topic, ALTHOUGH I’m not REALLY A big fan of Michael Jackson, but I think Michael Jackson is the King of pop. (Pop – GROSS SCHREIBEN) This was my presentation, I hope it was interesting.

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Ich hoffe, dasss noch jemand nachschaut.
Good luck
joy

[1mAtRiX9]

Also hier die korrigierte Form des Textes. Ich habe noch einen Satz dazu geschrieben soll ich den gleich da am Anfang oda erst am Ende schreiben?
Ich habe eigentlich nicht gemeint das ihr mir noch Sätze dazu schreiben sollt sondern mit vllt noch ein Tipp geben was ich über Michael Jackson noch schreiben könnte..
Blauer Satz: Was verstehen Sie an dem Satz nicht oda was ist undeutlich

Hello my name is................and I’m 15 years old. I live in ...................... with my mom and dad and my sister.
Dates:
Today I will tell you something about Michael Jackson and his family. Nearly everybody knows the name Michael Jackson, but do you know, his family or career background?
So I begin my presentation with the dates of Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson´s full name is Michael Joseph Jackson and his nicknames were King of Pop an Jacko Wacko. He was born on the 29th of August 1958 in Gary, Indiana. Gary is a town with 99.000 inhabitants and the town is northwest the USA.He was dead on the 25th of June 2009. He was grew up to a big family with nine children, five brothers and three sisters, and everyone in the family was musical.
Career:
At the age of four he and his brothers, Marlon, Tito, Jackie and Jermaine formed Jackson 5 and the group quickly rose to worldwide fame.
Michael Jackson began his musical career at the age of 5 as the singer of The Jackson 5 and released his first solo recording. In 1968 The Jackson 5 signed a contract with Motown records and only a year later they achieved their first number one US single with the song “I want you back”. In 1971 Michael Jackson released his first solo single. It wasn’t until 1979, that he released his first solo album and in 1980 he won his first Grammy Award.
He began then a full-fledged solo career in 1979 an formally with his brothers und sisters in 1984. And the Album Thriller was the biggest selling album of all time which was released by Michael Jackson. He also performed the moonwalk for the first time on TV.
Private life:
Now I will tell you something about the private life of Michael Jackson and his look. He had 3 kids: Paris (11), Prince Michael(12). And Prince Michael Jackson II(7).
Michael Jackson was the most famous and richest Singer of the USA and he had a fortune of 1 billion Dollar. In my opinion Michael Jackson was the most famous and richest Singer of the World. From 1988 to 2005 Michael Jackson lived on his Neverland Ranch property, on which he built an amusement park and private zoo for children.
And now I will tell you something about his style. He had black hair and his eye colour was brown. He was 1,78 tall, but he often changed is Style.
J chose this topic, because. Although I’m not really big fan of Michael Jackson, but I think Michael Jackson is the King of Pop. This was my presentation, I hope it was interesting.

[joy]

Also hier die korrigierte Form des Textes. Ich habe noch einen Satz dazu geschrieben soll ich den gleich da am Anfang oder erst am Ende schreiben?
Ich habe eigentlich nicht gemeint das ihr mir noch Sätze dazu schreiben sollt sondern mit vllt noch ein Tipp geben was ich über Michael Jackson noch schreiben könnte. DAS IST OK. Blauer Satz: Was verstehen Sie an dem Satz nicht oder was ist undeutlich. (SIEHE UNTEN)

Hello my name is................and I’m 15 years old. I live in ...................... with my mom and dad and my sister.
Dates:
Today I will tell you something about Michael Jackson and his family. Nearly everybody knows the name Michael Jackson, but do you know his family or career background?
So I begin my presentation with the dates of Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson´s full name is Michael Joseph Jackson and his nicknames were King of Pop and Jacko Wacko. He was born on the 29th of August 1958 in Gary, Indiana. Gary is a town with 99.000 inhabitants and the town is northwest of the USA. He died on the 25th of June 2009. He grew up in a big family with nine children, five brothers and three sisters, and everyone in the family was musical.
Career:
At the age of four he and his brothers, Marlon, Tito, Jackie and Jermaine formed The Jackson 5 and the group quickly rose to worldwide fame.
Michael Jackson began his musical career at the age of 5 as the singer of The Jackson 5 and released his first solo recording. In 1968 The Jackson 5 signed a contract with Motown records and only a year later they achieved their first number one US single with the song “I want you back”. In 1971 Michael Jackson released his first solo single. It wasn’t until 1979, that he released his first solo album and in 1980 he won his first Grammy Award.
He began then a full-fledged solo career in 1979 and formally with his brothers und sisters in 1984. And the Album Thriller was the biggest selling album of all time which was released by Michael Jackson. He also performed the moonwalk for the first time on TV.
Private life:
Now I will tell you something about the private life of Michael Jackson and his look. He had 3 kids: Paris (11), Prince Michael (12). And Prince Michael Jackson II (7).
Michael Jackson was the most famous and richest Singer of the USA and he had a fortune of 1 billion Dollar. In my opinion Michael Jackson was the most famous and richest Singer of the World. From 1988 to 2005 Michael Jackson lived on his Neverland Ranch property, on which he built an amusement park and private zoo for children.
And now I will tell you something about his style. He had black hair and his eye colour was brown. He was 1,78 tall, but he often changed his style.
I chose this topic, although I’m not really a big fan of Michael Jackson, but I think Michael Jackson is the King of Pop. This was my presentation, I hope it was interesting.

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Hi
Folgendes war noch nicht richtig:

….. is northwest the USA
Geändert: is northwest of the USA.

He was dead on the 25th of June 2009.
Geändert: He died on …..

He was grew up to a big family
Geändert: He grew up in a big family…..

He began then a full-fledged solo career in 1979 and formally with his brothers und sisters in 1984.
Ich verstehe die zweite Hälfte des Satzes nicht – und was? mit seinen Brüdern und Schwestern 1984?

He was 1,78 tall, but he often changed is Style.
Geändert: He was 1,78 tall, but he often changed his style.

J chose this topic, because. Although I’m not really big fan of Michael Jackson….
Geändert: I chose this topic, although I’m not really a big fan of Michael Jackson…

Aufpassen beim Wort “and”, dass nicht “an” geschrieben steht anstatt and!

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Google mal In Wikipedia. Dort findet man alles über Elvis Presley.
Falls du noch weitere Sätze hast, poste sie seperat, nicht mit dem vollen Text.

have fun!
joy

[joy]

Sorry: es heisst in meinem letzten Satz separat (nicht seperat)
joy

[1mAtRiX9]

ja er hat die Gruppe Jackson 5 verlassen er hat also seine Brüder und Schwestern verlassen, weil die hatten ja zusammen ein Musik Gruppe..