Bitte um Korrektur :)

[simon9900]

Heyy leute..

hab am montag englisch schularbeit & ich hab 2 texte geschrieben.. Könnte mir evt. jemand diese korrigieren??
das wär echt total nett!!

The Internet

In 1969 computers have been connected for the first time. In effect, it was the first network, which would become the Internet one day. In the next few decades the internet has been developed in an unthinkable way. It has become larger and faster (because of the optical cable). The Internet has revolutionized the computer and communications world like nothing before. The invention of the telegraph, telephone, radio, and computer set the stage for this unprecedented integration of capabilities. The Internet was at once a world-wide broadcasting capability, a mechanism for information dissemination, and a medium for interaction between individuals and their computers without regard for geographic location. I think the internet is one of the greatest inventions in the twentieth century. It has created a new world of more information and communication. It allows us to access a world of facts, figures and knowledge. If you have a question on any subject, it can be discovered on the net. The all knowing Wikipedia can answer all your questions. I think this information and communication that the internet offers us brings knowledge. With knowledge comes understanding and with understanding comes peace.


The Television

The inventor of the television is Philo T. Farnsworth. He was a very clever student and he was fascinated by electricity. Philo even built electrical machines to make the work on his parents’ farm easier. One day he read an article about mechanical television. He was obsessed with the idea of inventing an electrical television. Suddenly, an idea formed in his mind: Magnet’s could be used to control electrons to make a picture. So, five years later he explained his idea to two rich investors because he needed some money to put his idea into practice. The men agreed to provide some of the money and raise the rest. Then, in 1928 he managed to see the first images on his system. Shortly after the Second World War, almost every household owned a TV set. Every day billions of us keep up to date with the latest news, follow our favourite soap opera or watch an interesting documentary to improve our general knowledge. It’s all because of an idea in the mind of a young boy.

[joy]

Hi Simon

Ich glaube, dass die Jahresangabe (in 1969) beim ersten Satz die Vergangenheit verlangt:

"In 1969 computers HAD been connected for the first time."

Mehr kann ich dazu nicht sagen, da der Text meinen Level übersteigt!

Good luck!
joy

[simon9900]

Aja, super danke..
du meinst plusquamperfekt, oder?

mfg

[joy]

Ehrlich gesagt, bin ich gar nicht sicher, welche Version richtig ist.

ob:
In 1969 computers were connected for the first time.
oder:
In 1969 computers had been connected for the first time.

Ich tendiere für die erste Version, da das Jahr 1969 abgeschlossen ist und es auch das letzte mal „for the first time“ ist. (also were connected)

Bin jedoch deswegen unsicher, da die ganze Entwicklung weitergeht. Und die Handlung im Jahr 1969 vor der weiteren Entwicklung war. (also had been connected)

Es bleibt leider ein Fragezeichen, aber ich hoffe, dass noch jemand antwortet.
joy