Correction

Sätze und kurze Texte, die korrigiert wurden
marvin92

Correction

Beitrag von marvin92 »

Leila is a girl, who comes from THE(gr) countryside and she is going with her BROTHER(expression) to a ball, which is the first ball ON WHICH(gr) Leila goes to. She is really excited and never FORGETS(tempus) this day, because it's just her first time.
Beside she thinks when someone laughs that this person has to be kind and lovely. In general Leila is a shy person, but while she is at at the ball her shyness is gine, SHE(gr) also forgets her first WISH(voc) of going to this ball. She meets ON(gr) the balla thirty year old fat an, who TALKS(tempus) to her about his first ball. He tried to kiss a girl, but she just turned away. He never FORGOT(tempus) this situation because after that everything in his life went badly. This talk causes THE WAY HOW(expression) Leila thinks because now she is really insecure and she looks at things negatively.


*Die fettgedruckten Wörter sind nicht korrigiert, da ich zu diesen keine geeigneten Korrigierungen gefunden habe.
Zudem habe ich hinter jedem Fehler dessen Fehlerkategorie genannt.
(gr) = grammar Fehler


Die großgeschriebenen Wörter waren/sind Fehler gewesen, die ich versucht habe zu verbessern.
Ich hoffe ihr könnt mir weiterhelfen und auch ein paar Tipps geben, damit solche Fehler nicht wieder passieren.
Vielen Dank.

Delfino

Re: Correction

Beitrag von Delfino »

marvin92 hat geschrieben:Leila is a girl, who grew up in the country.
She is going with her boyfriend/brother to a ball, which is the first one she attends.
Leila is really excited and will never forget this special day, because it's the very first time
she is invited to such a big event. She thinks that the people who laugh at other persons have
to be kind and lovely. In general Leila is a shy person, but while she is at the ball her shyness is gone.
She also forgets why she wanted to come here in the first place.
She meets a thirty years older fat man, who talks to her about his first ball.
He says that he tried to kiss a girl, but she just turned away.
He never forgot this situation because after that everything in his life went wrong.
His story makes Leila think about how really insecure she usually is.
Afterwards she looks at things from a very negative point of view.
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