Job Application Letter

[marvin92]

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,
I would likeo apply for a job as as software develpoer. I got the information of your job-offer by/from a friend, who works for you. I think I'm the right person, because I've studied computer science. During my study i learned how to programm in PHP, Java and Html, I also improved my skills in designing with Photoshop.

I'm lookin forward to getting reply.

sincerely
marvin92

Was kann man daran verbessern?
Das ist keine echte Bewerbung, sondern wir sollen eine für die Schule schreiben.
Würde mich daher freuen, wenn mir jemand Tipps geben könnte, wie ich my Job Application verbessern kann.
Danke

[Delfino]

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,

I am writing to apply for the open software developer position.
Mr. XY, a friend of mine, who already works for you, told me about it.

I have successfully studied Computer Science at the YZ University in ABC.
During my studies I improved my skills to design with Adobe Photoshop CS4
and I have learned to program in PHP, Java and HTML. I have already gained
further experience while appling my knowledge in several projects outside
university. Therefore I am convinced to be the right person for this job.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to speaking with you
about this employment opportunity.

Sincerely,

marvin92

Was kann man daran verbessern?

Beachte: Fakten, Fakten, Fakten und an die Leser denken!

Jede Bewerbung und jedes Posting hier im Forum sollte man mehrfach lesen,
um einfache Rechtschreibfehler zu korrigieren!

In schriftlichen Bewerbungen werden übrigens keine verkürzten Formen (z.B. I'm ... / I've ...) benutzt.

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Hut ab, Delfino, schoene Verbesserung. Ich haette das ueberhaupt nicht verbessert, sondern erst einmal darum gebeten, dass der Poster die Rechtschreibfehler ueberprueft.