könnte mir jemand diesen text korrigieren??

[simon9900]

hey leute..

Ich hab am montag englisch schularbeit, und ich hab jetzt einen text geschrieben. Könnte mir evt. jemand diesen text korrigieren??
Damit wäre mir echt total geholfen...

Reducing transportation emissions is one of the most important steps in fighting global warming. Therefore it is necessary that the government encourages the public to use public means of transport more because a lot of people can be transported in one vehicle. In the first place, public transport should be made free. I think most people would leave their cars at home and travel by taxi, bus or train, if they were for free. Especially the British depend on cars for many everyday things, since it is faster and much more comfortable than other means of transport. Secondly it must be environmentally friendly and reliable. People need to know that they can get everywhere at anytime. Another point to be made is that fewer and fewer people get to work or to school by cycling or walking. As a consequence more and more people suffer from obesity and other diseases. In my opinion the government carries the obligation to encourage the public to walk or cycle short distances. To take into account is that fifty-six per cent of all journeys by car are less than five miles and twenty-three per cent are less than two miles. All those cars emit the greenhouse gas carbon dioxide and contribute to global warming. The carbon dioxide emissions increased one hundred per cent in the last fifty years.
To sum up, I would argue that a ecologically friendly and reliable service which was free would convince many people to use public transport. That would be an important step in fighting global warming and the destruction of the environment.


mfg simon

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Hey Leute..

Ich hab am Montag eine Englisch Schularbeit, und ich hab jetzt einen Text geschrieben. Könnte mir evtl. jemand diesen Text korrigieren??
Damit wäre mir echt total geholfen...

Reducing transportation emissions (da ja nicht der Transport stinkt, vielleicht besser carbon dioxide emission caused by transportation) is one of the most important steps in fighting global warming. Therefore it is necessary that the government encourages the people to use public means of transport as often as possible. Buses and trains can transport a lot of people in one vehicle, to name but one advantage. To make it more attractive in the first place, public transport should be made free. I think most people would leave their cars at home and travel by taxi, bus or train, if these were for free. Especially the British depend on their cars for many everyday things, since they are faster and much more comfortable than other means of transport. Of course the means of public transport must be environmentally friendly and reliable. People need to know that they can get everywhere at anytime. Another development of the last decades is that fewer and fewer people go to work or to school by bike or on foot. Consequently more and more people suffer from obesity and other diseases. In my opinion the government bears the responsibility to encourage the public to walk or cycle short distances. The fact that fifty-six percent of all journeys by car are less than five miles and twenty-three percent are less than two miles speaks for itself. All those cars emit the greenhouse gas carbon dioxide and contribute to global warming. The carbon dioxide emissions have been increasing by one hundred percent during the last fifty years.
To sum up, I would argue that an ecologically friendly and reliable service which was free of cost would convince many people to use public transport. That would be an important step in fighting global warming and the destruction of the environment.


mfg simon

Hi Simon, toller Text. Dus siehst auch, dass ich fast nur Vorschläge für Umformulierungen gemacht habe. Das ist aber immer eine Geschmackssache. Bis auf wenige Kleinigkeiten ist der Text prima.

Good luck says
Duckduck