Anschreiben nach Australien

[Teufelich]

Dem Titel ist da nichts mehr hinzuzufügen Hoffe könnt mal kurz drüber schauen ob alles richtig ist...sollte halt nach Australien gehn...lieber British English oder American English, dass wäre noch intressant? Mit freundlichen Grüßen Teufelich

My address

Date
Company's address




Dear Sir or Madam,

I know you don't have a lot of time. Nevertheless, I would be grateful if you could send me some information about your volunteer program.

My name is XY, I am 18 years old and live in Germany.

I hope to get an opportunity to solve a full or half year as an volunteer in your hospital from September 2011 to 2012.

If you are able to employ an active German volunteer around 38.5 hours a week, it would be great if I am allowed to send you an application form and a resume to convince you with my skills and experiences.

Perhaps you have enough work for an second volunteer, that's why I introduce AB to you who mayhap may send you an application, too.

I hope I raised interest in AB and me.

You may reach me at the above email address.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,


XY

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Dem Titel ist da nichts mehr hinzuzufügen Hoffe könnt mal kurz drüber schauen ob alles richtig ist...sollte halt nach Australien gehn...lieber British English oder American English, dass wäre noch intressant? Mit freundlichen Grüßen Teufelich

Dear Sir or Madam,

I appreciate the fact that you do not have much time. Nevertheless I would be grateful if you could send me some information about your volunteer programme.

My name is XY, I am 18 years old and live in Germany.

I hope to get an opportunity to spend a full or half year as a volunteer in your hospital from September 2011 to September 2012.

If you are able to employ an active German volunteer around 38.5 hours a week, it would be great if I was allowed to send you an application form and a résumé to convince you of my skills and experiences.

Perhaps you have enough work for an second volunteer, that is why I introduce AB to you who mayhap may send you an application, too.*

I hope I raised interest in AB and me.

You may contact me at the above email address.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,


XY

Ich verbessere auf BE
*) Was willst du hiermit ausdruecken? Stellst du AB mit diesem Brief (vielleicht im Anhang) vor?

[Teufelich]

Also ich will mein Zivi in Australien verrichten + meine Freundin macht dann parallel auch ein FSJ und da wäre es gut wenn das Krankenhaus numal 2 Freiwilligen- bzw Zivistellen frei hätte... sollte ich also schreiben damit der Leser es versteht das wir zusammen das Auslandsjahr machen werden?

Und wegen programme nunja also wenn die halt eine Abteilung von Freiwilligendienst haben, sollen sie mir bezüglich da rückmeldung wegen meiner Anfrage geben ob sie halt jemanden wie mich (+AB) gebrauchen könnten.

Also wäre eigentlich besser ...if you could send me a feedback regarding this enquiry about your volunteer programme.

Achso und das ganze darf frühestens im september 2011 anfangen...da is das abi fertig hab nu soonest geschrieben...

Also meine Verbesserung:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I appreciate the fact that you do not have much time. Nevertheless I would be grateful if you could send me a feedback regarding this enquiry about your volunteer programme.

My name is XY, I am 18 years old and live in Germany.

I hope to get an opportunity to spend a full or half year as a volunteer in your hospital from soonest September 2011 to 2012/2013.

If you are able to employ an active German volunteer around 38.5 hours a week, it would be great if I was allowed to send you an application form and a résumé to convince you of my skills and experiences.

Perhaps you have enough work for an second volunteer, that is why I introduce AB to you who may send you an application, too. She will pass the volunteer year with me.

I hope I raised interest in AB and me.

You may contact me at the above email address.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,


XY

[Teufelich]

Also ist meine Schlussfassung fehlerfrei etc? einfaches Ja reicht dann werd ich das so abschicken

Danke schön für die Hilfe bis demnächst

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Also ich will mein Zivi in Australien verrichten + meine Freundin macht dann parallel auch ein FSJ und da wäre es gut wenn das Krankenhaus numal 2 Freiwilligen- bzw Zivistellen frei hätte... sollte ich also schreiben damit der Leser es versteht das wir zusammen das Auslandsjahr machen werden?

Ja solltest du.

Und wegen programme nunja also wenn die halt eine Abteilung von Freiwilligendienst haben, sollen sie mir bezüglich da rückmeldung wegen meiner Anfrage geben ob sie halt jemanden wie mich (+AB) gebrauchen könnten.

Ich habe das Wort programme blau hervorgehoben, weil du es auf Amerikanisch geschrieben hast, ich aber Britisch Englisch verbessere (wie ich auch erwaehnt hatte).

Also wäre eigentlich besser ...if you could send me a feedback regarding this enquiry about your volunteer programme.

Nein, du kannst deine Version so stehen lassen, die ist in Ordnung. Diese hier genannte Verbesserung ist allerdings komplett falsch.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I appreciate the fact that you do not have much time. Nevertheless I would be grateful if you could send me a feedback regarding this enquiry about your volunteer programme. (Siehe oben)

My name is XY, I am 18 years old and live in Germany.

I hope to get an opportunity to spend a full or half year as a volunteer in your hospital from soonest September 2011 to 2012/2013. (Gib hier lieber ein genaues Datum an, wann du ungefaehr kannst).

If you are able to employ an active German volunteer around 38.5 hours a week, it would be great if I was allowed to send you an application form and a résumé to convince you of my skills and experiences.

Perhaps you have enough work for an second volunteer, that is why I introduce AB to you who may send you an application, too. She will pass the volunteer year with me.

I hope I raised interest in AB and me.

You may contact me at the above email address.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,


XY

[Teufelich]

Ok mache es dann einfach so:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I appreciate the fact that you do not have much time. Nevertheless I would be grateful if you could send me some information about your volunteer programme.

My name is XY, I am 18 years old and live in Germany.

I hope to get an opportunity to spend a full or half year as a volunteer in your hospital from soonest September 2011 when I will get my Higher School Certificate.

If you are able to employ an active German volunteer around 38.5 hours a week, it would be great if I was allowed to send you an application form and a résumé to convince you of my skills and experiences.

Perhaps you have enough work for an second volunteer, that is why I introduce AB to you who may send you an application, too. She will pass the volunteer year with me.

I hope I raised interest in AB and me.

You may contact me at the above email address.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,


XY

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Lass das soonest raus und ersetze es durch "from September 2011 after I will have received my ..". Die werden bei Interesse nachfragen. Und Higher School gibt es nicht, welchen Abschluss wirst du machen?

[Teufelich]

Abitur mach ich...hatte gelesen das das villt australisch wär soll ich dann einfach sagen A-Level um sicher zu gehn..

aber wenn ich das soonest weglasse...kann man dann trozdem noch verstehen das September 2011 das früheste Datum ist und nicht aufjeden fall von September bis September..sonst denken die villt, ne im September is nix frei also schicken wa ne Absage

MFG

[Keswick (Contributor)]

A-Levels ist verstaendlich, auch in Australien.

Dann schreibe wie ich sagte einfach I'd be available from September...