Essay Berichtigen :S

[Sunnii]

Hi Leute,
Da ich wie ich finde, eine niete in Englisch bin hab ich mich mal hier angemeldet.
Ich hoffe ihr könnt mir mit meinem Essay helfen. :S
Hab mich zwar schon von einer 4 auf ne 3- gebessert finde aber trotzdem das ich schlecht bin.

So hier ist er.

My holidays

I'll tell you what i have done in my Easterholidays.

In the first week of my holidays i was at home.
I met my friends and went out with them.
In the second week I was with my best friend Marisa in 'Niedersachsen' for a week.
We had a lot of fun.
One day we were shopping in Aurich.
We visited a lot of villages and citys for example Leer, Hesel and Emden.
The weather was really good.
Everyday the sun shone and it was over 20 (grad Celsius??) warm.
In the evening we sat in the garden or watched TV in the livingroom.
Sometimes we virowed with our own boat that we have rent with the house.
At the last day we were eating in a resturant.
Back at home I had to do my homework and tidy up my room.
On Sunday I have met my friend Janina and together with my sister Denise we go out.

My holidays were very exited and I had a lot of fun.
I hope that my Summerholidays become so exited,too.

[FiendishMinx]

My holidays

I'll tell you what I did in my Easter holidays [Hier ist es ein bestimmter abgesteckter Zeitraum.]

In the first week of my holidays I was at home.
I met my friends and went out with them.
In the second week I was with my best friend Marisa in 'Niedersachsen' for a week.
We had a lot of fun.
One day we went shopping in Aurich.
We visited a lot of villages and cities, for example Leer, Hesel and Emden.
The weather was really good.
Everyday the sun shone and it was over 20 degrees (warm).
In the evening we sat in the garden or watched TV in the living room .
Sometimes we rowed [vielleicht? ich weiss nicht, was du hier meinst!] with our own boat that we had rented together with the house.
On the last day we we ate at a restaurant .
Back home I had to do my homework and tidy up my room.
On Sunday I met my friend Janina and together with my sister Denise we went out.

My holidays were very exciting and I had a lot of fun.
I hope that my summer holidays become so exciting , too.

Achte bitte auf Gross- und Kleinschreibung, auf Zeitformen und auf Schreibweise der Woerter. Manche Woerter stehen im Englischen getrennt, im Deutsche aber nicht.
Ansonsten ist der Text gut. Ich wuerde einige Saetze aber in Nebensatzkonstruktionen verbinden, damit der Text nicht ganz so abgehackt klingt.