Struktur Short Story

[FranzWalter111]

Hab ekine ahnung wie das gehen soll habe mal etwas gemacht:

Analyse nach diesen Punkten:
Introduction
Action
Rising Action
Climax
Falling action
Turning point
Deneonement

Bitte auch gramtik fehler etc korrigieren oder antreichen



In the Introduction, the reader gets some information’s about the characters and the setting. It is a poor family with 15 years old Boy, his name is Billy, the reader doesn’t finds out the exact name from the other characters.
The reader gets some information’s about their look e.g. the woman dress or the father’s moustache. Despite of the family’s poverty the family is very clean. The story takes place in the living-dining room for example a armchair and a table is mentioned.
The author builds a tense atmosphere, he describes a lot of details e.g. the man ignored his wife. Another reason for the suspense is the son, they are waiting for him because he earns his first weeks wages.
The action of the story makes it clear that the family is very poor. The man and the woman quarrel for the money it gets clear that the man wastes the family money in a public house.
The author increases the tension as the son came in. The situation is very tense because both parents ask the sun for the money and pleased him to give it.
The decision, that the boy has lost the money makes for considerable suspense. The suspense climbs to its climax as the father beat his son with his belt.
Afterwards the suspense begins to fall, because the son must go to bed.
The turning point of the story is, as the mother comes upstairs and her son gives her the envelope with the money, that’s the solution to the problem too. Now the father cannot waste the money and the mother can buy some food for the family.

[FranzWalter111]

kennt sich keiner damit aus oder könnte wenigsten einer korrektulesen?

[FiendishMinx]

Achte bitte unbedingt auf deine deutsche Rechtschreibung/Gross- und Kleinschreibung.

[FiendishMinx]

In the introduction, the reader gets some information about the characters and the setting. It is a poor family with a 15 year old boy. His name is Billy. The reader doesn’t find out the other characters' exact names.
The reader gets some information about their looks for examplethe woman's dress or the father’s moustache. Despite the family’s poverty the family is very clean. [--> I don't like this here. Poor families are not necessarily dirty/untidy!] The story takes place in the living room , for example an armchair and a table is mentioned.
The author builds a tense atmosphere, he describes a lot of details, for example the man ignores his wife. Another reason for the suspense is the son . They are waiting for him because he earns his first week's wages.
The action of the story makes it clear that the family is very poor. The man and the woman quarrel for the money . It becomes clear that the man wastes the family money in a public house.
The author increases the tension as the son comes home. The situation is very tense because both parents ask the son for the money and beg him to give it to them.
The decision [??? Welche Entscheidung?] that the boy has lost the money creates even further suspense. The suspense climbs to its climax as the father beats his son with his belt. Afterwards the suspense begins to fall, because the son must go to bed.
The turning point of the story is, when the mother comes upstairs and her son gives her the envelope with the money. That’sthe solution to the problem, too. Now the father cannot waste the money and the mother can buy some food for the family.

Den Ablauf einer Kurzgeschichte und deren Elemente kannst du ueberall im Netz nachlesen, das bete ich dir nicht vor. Dein Text ist unuebersichtlich und du setzt teilweise Wissen voraus, das der Leser deiner Arbeit nicht haben kann. Wenn du eine Zusammenfassung schreibst, ueberlege immer, dass der Leser deiner Arbeit das Buch nicht gelesen hat. Benutze bitte ein Woerterbuch und uebersetze nicht nach Gefuehl. Und bitte keine Abkuerzungen in literarischen Texten.

[FranzWalter111]

ok vielen dank für die Korrektur. Ich muss in meiner Klausur 3 aufgaben machen zum einem comprehension also eine inhaltsangabe dann Nr.2 Analyse also in diesem Fall die Struktur einer Kurzgeschichte untersuchen, dass habe ich oben versucht nur leider weiss ich nicht ob das so in Ordnung ist.
Der Lehrer meinte man sollte nicht den Inhalt wieder geben bzw. die 'Funktion untersuchen ich weiss nur nicht ob mir das so gelungen ist, es ist ja dann bei dieser Aufgabe auch offensichtlich das man die Geschichte kennen muss.

Könnte mir vielleicht einer den ein oder andren Tipp dies bezüglich geben ich habe nämlich ehrlich gesagt keine Ahnung wie ich so was richtig mache und im Internet finde ich auch nicht wirklich brauchbares Material.