ich bin neu hier. Bin grade in der 12. Klasse und habe dort English als Grundkurs. Meine Aufgabe ist es eine Shortstory zu schreiben mit dem groben "Plot outline" Exposition, Climax, Resolution. Ich würde mich freuen wenn ihr einfach mal sagt wie ihr meine Story findet, was man noch verbessern kann und welche Fehler euch auffallen.
A blink of an eye
Easter Monday Night: A red river of blood outpours on the dark, cold tarmac of the gap. The strobe light from the main street cast a cloud over the gab to cloak the dead body. The heaven sends rain to purge the asphalt from the ruddy ink. The neck: barely warm, motionless, no indication of life. Only a wink between life and dead, click, just a blink of an eye.
The chief superintendent congratulates me on my prosperity. “For your achievements and your bravery, I grant you, Officer Simmons, with the medal of honor.” I try to seem proud for the audience, while on the badge sticks blood, blood of folks without a choice.
Since the government cut of the pension and disposes the entire welfare, the world has change. The politicians summon the people to work, to earn money. But the people are forced to commit crime ‘cause there is no work. The lords tend a flock of machines, from their golden castles, which do all the work. The machines are always occupied, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They work in gigantic factories without any windows, ‘cause no daylight needed. The machines work harder, better, faster and stronger like anybody ore anyone before.
Today, an ordinary day, on my ordinary patrol, in my ordinary district, there was something in the air, that day. A scream split the air. “My handbag, my handbag”, a woman repeated hastily. A guise started running through the crowd. I followed swiftly. He can’t shake me of, I guessed. After hours of hot pursuit, it ended. We, thief and me, were in a dead end. It looks likewise the gap from Eastern. He turned around, we stud face to face. I assed, the thief was an ordinary man with fear in his eyes. He clamped the handbag very firmly under his left shoulder. He started stuttering:”I…I only try…my k-kids…” All at once he caught with his right hand into his trouser pocket. My gun salivated accidentally a bullet to the man. The bullet gored him like a lance. He sank to the ground. I opened his hand. It contained a picture with 2 little children playing on a slide. I took these kids their father. There is no livable future.
I hope you can understand my decision, for that reason I wrote this letter to you. Only a wink between life and dead, click, just a blink of an eye…
In love Ace Simmons
Vielen Dank im Voraus,
mfg fritz
