hilfe bei einem englischen text

[guest-01-18]

Hallo,

bin neu hier im Forum. Habe mich angemeldet da ich Hilfe zu einem englischen Text brauche.
Kann mir mal bitte jemand helfen und sich den unteren Text anschauen und diesen nach Grammatikfehler usw. durchsuchen?
Das wäre echt hilfreich

Danke
Gruß
Stev

History

The Schwabengarage AG was founded in 1924 by Emil Frey. Emil Frey was an avid mechanic, successful racing driver, and an entrepreneur. At the age of 26 years, he decided in Stuttgart to work independently. Even at that time, he knew what his clients appreciated: his commitment, his expertise and his hard work. Highest customer orientation was the recipe for his success - more and more customers looking for his assistance in all matters around their car or motorcycle. What 1924 has been good for business is still in the company. In the past 80 years, Schwabengarage become a well-known automobile dealer and an importer for various car brands in six countries. In the year 2006, the car dealers were concentrated under one roof, named Emil Frey Gruppe Deutschland. Nowadays, the EFGD is divided in four different corporate divisions. The retail trade offers in 35 settlements altogether 16 different car brands, while the 14 wholesalers deliver the car dealers with the necessary spare parts for the cars. Another corporate division is the import for the brands Hyundai and Subaru and finally the FSS group, which develops innovative financial products around the automobile. The corporate philosophy is based on absolute customer orientation and high customer satisfaction.

Current economic situation

The Emil Frey Group Germany achieved in fiscal 2006 sales of 20 billion Euros. The company recorded an increase of over 19 percent in comparison to the previous year. The reasons for the increase in sales were the stable development of the retail business and the strong growth of the corporate divisions car import and financial services. The huge dealer network grows permanently and the newly organized retail trade of the EFGD uses more synergies than in the past. The aim is to use the multi-brand strategy to increase the customer loyalty and to achieve a better long-term market penetration. In addition, the EFGD is exclusive importer of the vehicles from Hyundai and Subaru.

Distribution

The EFGD distributes new and used cars at several locations in Europe. The company and its subsidiaries are wholesale and retail dealers of all brands of the Ford Motor Company. In Germany, there are 35 car dealers and about 240 connected contractors. At their locations and the connected contractors, the EFGD sells new and used cars from Ford and at various locations also other premium car brands like Jaguar, Volvo, Land Rover and Aston Martin. The EFGD is one of the largest authorized ford dealer in Europe and also a major trading partner of Mazda in Germany. Furthermore, the EFGD offers altogether 16 different car brands under one roof. The group sold about 130,000 new and used cars in the year 2006. This result earned the group with 3,026 employees, including 387 trainees.

[Daniel Wolf]

he decided in Stuttgart to work independently
muss heißen: he decided to work independently in Stuttgart

[Daniel Wolf]

Hallo,
Den Satz "What 1924 has been good for business is still in the company." verstehe ich nicht so ganz. Vielleicht formulierst Du den ein bißchen um.

Dann der Satz: "...Schwabengarage become a well-known automobile dealer..." da muss aus dem become entweder ein became (simple past) oder ein has become (present perfect).

Dann:"...named Emil Frey Gruppe Deutschland. Nowadays, the EFGD ..." kein Fehler, aber es ist immer besser, Abkürzungen zuerst einzuführen, bevor man sie benutzt: "named Emil Frey Gruppe Deutschland (EFGD). Nowadays, the EFGD ..."

Auch:"...offers in 35 settlements altogether 16 different car brands..." besser finde ich: "...offers altogether 16 different car brands in 35 settlements..." Man kann sich auch noch überlegen, ob man das altogether weglässt.

Ford ist ein Name und wird deshalb groß geschrieben

Dieser Satz ist ein bißchen unverständlich: This result earned the group with 3,026 employees, including 387 trainees.

Grüße,
Daniel

[Deccius]

Den Satz "What 1924 has been good for business is still in the company." verstehe ich nicht so ganz. Vielleicht formulierst Du den ein bißchen um.

Ja, dieser Satz hat mich auch ganz verwirrt. Ich glaube, der Satz soll etwa so lauten: "What made the business successful in 1924 is still effective today."

In the year 2006, the car dealers were concentrated under one roof....
----
The group sold about 130,000 new and used cars in the year 2006.

Das hier ist keine Korrektur, sondern ein Vorschlag. Ich bin der Meinung, dass die Phrase "in the year ****" merkwürdig klingt. Am ehesten würde ich einfach "in ****" sagen und "the year" weglassen.