Bitte Korrigieren sehr sehr dringend!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bambi696]

Wäre echt lieb wenn mir das mal jemand korrigieren könnte:

Dear Mr Mills,

Application for an apprenticeship as Travel agent

With reference to your advertisement in today´s The Sun Times, I would like to apply for the position as a Travel agent.
Since 2007 I have been a student of Vacational school XY. I will be awarded my degree in Economy and Business administration in June 2009.
When I read your advertisement I could help noticing how well your requirements agree with my skills.


The position seems to fit very well with my skills, because I have a good worldwide geographical knowledge and I can speak fluent English, moderate French and have basic skills in Spanish. I´m also sociable in dealing with people and I have good interpersonal skills. I´m an enthusiastic, hard-working and friendly person.
I consider myself the ideal candidate for the job because I have enough knowledge about other countries. I visited several cities and hotels all over the world for example Asia, Afrika, Paris, New York and Japan.
As you can see from the enclosed CV I have already made an internship at a travel agency.


I would like very much to talk with you concerning a position at your agency. If you would like to schedule an interview or otherwise discuss my interest in this position, please call me at the number listed above.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,



XY


Encl CV

[honey-n]

Wäre echt lieb wenn mir das mal jemand korrigieren könnte:

Dear Mr Mills,

Application for an apprenticeship as Travel agent

With reference to your advertisement in today´s The Sun Times, I would like to apply for the position as a Travel agent.
Since 2007 I have been a student of Vacational school XY. I will be awarded my degree in Economy and Business administration in June 2009.
When I read your advertisement I could help noticing how well your requirements agree with my skills.


The position seems to fit very well with my skills, because I have a good worldwide geographical knowledge and I can speak fluent English, moderate French and have basic skills in Spanish. I´m also sociable in dealing with people and I have good interpersonal skills. I´m an enthusiastic, hard-working and friendly person.
I consider myself the ideal candidate for the job because I have enough knowledge about other countries. I visited several cities and hotels all over the world for example Asia, Afrika, Paris, New York and Japan.
As you can see from the enclosed CV I have already made an internship at a travel agency.


I would like very much to talk with you concerning a position at your agency. If you would like to schedule an interview or otherwise discuss my interest in this position, please call me at the number listed above.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,



XY


Encl CV

Dear Mr Mills,

Application for an apprenticeship as Travel agent

With reference to your advertisement in today´s "The Sun Times", I would like to apply for the position as a Travel agent.
Since 2007 I have been a student of Vacational school XY. I will be awarded my degree in Economy and Business administration in June 2009.
When I read your advertisement I could help noticing how well your requirements agree with my skills.


The position seems to fit very well with my skills, because I have a good worldwide geographical knowledge and I can speak fluent English, moderate French and have basic skills in Spanish. I´m also sociable in dealing with people and I have good interpersonal skills. I´m an enthusiastic, hard-working and friendly person.
I consider myself the ideal candidate for the job because I have enough knowledge about other countries. I visited several cities and hotels all over the world for example Asia, Afrika, Paris, New York and Japan.
As you can see from the enclosed CV I have already made an internship at a travel agency.


I would like very much to talk with you concerning a position at your agency. If you would like to schedule an interview or otherwise discuss my interest in this position, please call me at the number listed above.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,



XY


Encl CV

I think it is perfekt

[Delfino]

I think it is perfect.

I could not help but noticing a few mistakes.

________________________________________________________________


Application for an apprenticeship as Travel agent

Dear Mr Mills,

With reference to your advertisement in today's issue of The Sun Times, I would like to apply for the position as a Travel agent. Since 2007 I have been a student of Vacational school XY. I will be awarded my degree in Economy and Business Administration in June 2009.

When I read your advertisement I could not help but noticing how well your requirements match my skills. The position seems to fit me very well, because I have a good knowledge of worldwide geography and I speak English fluently, moderate French and I have basic skills in Spanish. I also have good interpersonal skills and dealing with people gives me pleasure. I'm an enthusiastic and hard-working person, who likes to work in a team, but I can also take on responsible tasks myself.
I consider myself the ideal candidate for the job because I have been to Japan, New York, Paris and many other cities in Europe, America, Asia and Africa. During my journeys I have gathered great knowledge about other countries. As you can see from the enclosed CV I have already worked at a travel agency before.

I would really like to talk with you in regard to a position at your company. If you would like to schedule an interview or otherwise discuss my interest in this position, please call me at the number listed above.

I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,


XY


Encl CV

________________________________________________________________

I consider myself the ideal candidate for the job
because I have enough knowledge about other countries.

Wow, you must have travelled a lot!


fluent English

British English / American English
to speak English fluently

made an internship

You made a cake.
You you survived the war - you made it!
You take an internship.

I visited several cities

I visited my mom.
I've been to NY.