Ist mein Text so okay?

[Spintus1990]

Hallo,
ich soll einen kleinen Text über mich schreiben, der an einen englischen Schüler gerichtet ist. Dieser wird aber nie versendet .

Könnte jemand sich mal anschauen, was falsch/richtig ist? Sind sicher noch einige Fehler drinne =(.
Ich schreib heute abend noch etwas über meine dislike ...

-Edit Admin-
Germany
2008-03-16

Dear Markus,
my name is Manu. I am a 17 years old boy and I live in Saalfeld in Germany. That is a little town with 30.000 people. The city has many sights, the Saalfelder Feengrotten only for example. It is fascinate with his naturally colors. The weather in our area is very changeable. But Snow belongs to the rarity.
But now, back to myself.
I live in a little familie. I have no sister or brother, but my grandma and grandpa live in our house, too. My parents have an own shop, its called “Uhren und Schmuck Beispiel”. There you can buy clocks, jewelry, for example.
I am interested in swimming. That is great in summer in the open-air swimming pool. Furthermore, I am interested in biking. We have a nice bikeway in our location, who is 427 kilometer long. It is called “Saale Radweg”.
Now, I will take about my like and dislike.
I like typical Thuringia food. For example: Thuringian bratwurst, dumplings, sourcrout and so on. If you like, I can send you the receipt. It is very easy to cook.
Best wishes from Germany,
David.

[MartinMiller]

Hi David,

ich hab mal die Korrekturen in Rot gemacht. Hoffe, es hilft dir.
Bis denn.

Dear Markus,
my name is Manu. I am a 17 years old boy and I live in Saalfeld, Germany. That is a little town with a population of 30.000 citizens. There are a lot of sights in the city, e.g. the "Saalfelder Feengrotten". It fascinates with his naturally colors. The weather in our area is very changeable. But Snow belongs to the rarity.
But now, back to myself.
I live in a little family. I have no sisters or brothers, but my grandma and grandpa live in our house, too. My parents have their own shop, its called “Uhren und Schmuck Beispiel”. There you can buy clocks, watches and jewelry, for example.
I am interested in swimming. That is great in summer in the open-air swimming pool. Furthermore, I am interested in biking. We have a nice bikeway in our location, which is 427 kilometer long. It is called the “Saale Radweg”.
Now, I come to my likings and dislikes.
I like typical Thuringia food. For example: Thuringian bratwurst, dumplings, sourcrout and so on. If you like, I can send you the receipt. It is very easy to cook.
Best wishes from Germany,
David.[/quote]