Personal Comment - Korrektur, Verbesserung

Alles zur englischen Grammatik.
How to deal with English grammar.
ph0TL

Personal Comment - Korrektur, Verbesserung

Beitrag von ph0TL »

Hallo, habe hier ein personal comment. Würde mich freuen, wenn ihr grammatikalische fehler berichtigen könntet und/oder mir sagen würdet wie ich etwas anders formulieren sollte. Auch über evtl. Ergänzungen würde ich mich freuen.
gruß tobias
The statement is that the supporters of multiculturalism claim that a homogeneous society leads to prejudice and discrimination against minorities, immigrants and foreign nations whereas a multicultural society offers mutual cultural enrichment and encourages tolerance at home and in wold affairs.
I think that immigrants could influence a society in a positive way with their culture, language and lifestyle. These new influences breed to new ideas. A multilangual society has also an economic advantage for international companys. All in all immigrants and so on brings a lot of variability and new possibilities in a society.
To come to a conclusion we have to consider this to the problems a multicultural society brings with. There could be communication difficulties and cultural differences which seperates the immigrants from the rest of the society. So there would be the danger of a parallel society in which are no differences to a homogeneous society, which are the supporters are against.
To sum up I believe it is fully justified to say that a multicultural society offers mutual cultural enrichment and encourages tolerance on condition that the immigrants, minorities and foreign nations are supported to get integrated in this society and are well received.

michael123

Beitrag von michael123 »

The statement is that the supporters of multiculturalism claim that a homogeneous society leads to prejudice and discrimination against minorities, immigrants and foreign nations whereas a multicultural society offers mutual cultural enrichment and encourages tolerance at home and in wold affairs.
I think that immigrants could influence a society in a positive way with their culture, language and lifestyle. These new influences breed to new ideas - change to "breed new ideas" . A multilangual - spelling should be "multilingual" society has also an economic advantage for international companys - "companies". Unless there is a vowel in front of the last letter plural becomes ies (e.g. baby to babies but bay to bays. All in all - all-in-all immigrants and so on brings - "bring" a lot of variability - this is the ability to vary. You should use here "variety" and new possibilities in - "into" (they are in - they are brought into) a society.
To - In order to (more formal) come to a conclusion we have to consider this to the problems - should be "consider the problems" a multicultural society brings with - "with it". There could be communication difficulties and cultural differences which seperates - "seperate" verb form pl. they the immigrants from the rest of the society. So there - There would be the danger of a parallel society in which are no differences to - identical to a homogeneous society, which are the supporters are against - "which the supporters are against" (word order).
To sum up I believe it - "believe that it" (sounds more natural) is fully justified to say that a multicultural society offers mutual cultural enrichment and encourages tolerance on condition that the immigrants, minorities and foreign nations are supported to get integrated in this society and are well received. - "that the integration of immigrants, minorities and foreign nations is supported by the society and is well recieved.

ph0TL

Beitrag von ph0TL »

thanks :)

michael123

Beitrag von michael123 »

no problem