What do you think about my cover letter???

[GS3301]

hello, yeah the topic explains itself. I am German, currently still working in Canada and looking for a new job around Europe!

I already prepared a cover letter for a American company, it would be greatly appreciated if you guys could check up my letter on mistakes.

improvement suggestions are always welcome:D

kind regards from Canada

Dear Ms. Dalby,

I would be interested if your company is currently offering any entry positions within the area of the stewarding & housekeeping department in which I would like to be considered for all physical work such as Dishwasher, Kitchen Steward, Spa Cleaner, Housekeeper and where else cleaning experience would be an asset.

If such position would become available, it would be greatly appreciated if you give me the opportunity to discuss your needs and objectives. I enclosed my personal accomplishments within the accompanying resume and hope this would illustrate the value and vision that I can bring to your team.

The last 9 month I worked in the [...] Lodge at [...] in Canada, in which I got the chance to gain valuable experience. I improved through my job as room attendant & night cleaner a lot of my productivity and efficiency as well the increase of expectations from my managers.

Some of my strong points are according to the manager of my department, that I am very reliable and focused on my work, cooperatively and decidedly friendly to the hotel guests.

Therefore I was able to enjoy confidence by working independent and being in charge at night cleaning and consequently being responsible for the departments Housekeeping, Stewarding, and Spa.

My previous experience is a good foundation for a new job opportunity for an entry to mid level position in your company and I am willing to develop further skills.

Should any position be available within the near future, I hope that you'll find my experience and interests intriguing enough to warrant a personal meeting, as I am confident that I could provide value to you and your customers as a member of your team.

I can be contacted anytime by this email address [...@hotmail.com].

Thank you for taking the time and consideration and I look forward to hear from you about any employment opportunity.


Respectfully yours,

[Moncheri]

Ok, I'll do my lever best - but if I were you, I would give it to a teacher or interpreter!
Zitat:


Dear Ms. Dalby,

I am interested if your company is currently offering any entry positions within the area of the stewarding & housekeeping department in which I would like to be considered for all physical work such as Dishwasher, Kitchen Steward, Spa Cleaner, Housekeeper and where else cleaning experience would be an asset.

If such position would (put no 'would' in a if-sentence!become available, it would be great if you give me the opportunity to discuss your needs and objectives..

Time before place!!(The last 9 month) I have worked in the [...] Lodge at [...] in Canada, in which I got the chance to gain valuable experience. In my job i improved as room attendant & night cleaner a lot of my productivity and efficiency as well the increase of expectations from my managers.

Some of my strenghts points are according to the manager of my department, that I am very reliable and focused on my work, cooperatively and decidedly friendly to the hotel guests.
Therefore I was able to enjoy confidence by working independent and being in charge at night cleaning and consequently being responsible for the departments Housekeeping, Stewarding, and Spa.

My previous experience is a good foundation for a new job opportunity for an entry to mid level position in your company and I am willing to develop further skills.

Should any position be available within the near future, I hope that you'll find my experience and interests intriguing enough to warrant a personal meeting, as I am confident that I could provide value to you and your customers as a member of your team.

I can be contacted anytime by this email address [...@hotmail.com].

Thank you for taking the time and consideration and I look forward to hear from you about any employment opportunity.


Respectfully yours,


Please work this part over - your application is too long. Hold it precise, short and bring it to the point. Your qualifications and also your E-Mail-Adress should stand clearly arranged in your vita. Don't write it again in your form letter.

Hope, I could help you!
Let me see your new version - if you want.
Good luck,
Moncheri

[GS3301]

hoi Moncheri, thank you for taking the time to help me

I was trying to shorten the length of my letter, as well to be more precise . So, I am hoping it has a bit improved.

Thanks again, it would be awesome if you could check it one more time!

regards, GS3301

here you go-->

Dear Ms. Dalby,

I am interested if your company is currently offering any entry positions within the area of the Stewarding & Housekeeping department in which I would like to be considered for all physical work such as Dishwasher, Kitchen Steward, Spa Cleaner, Housekeeper and where else cleaning experience would be an asset.

If such position becomes available, it would be great if you give me the opportunity to discuss your needs and objectives.

The last 9 month I have worked in the [...] Lodge at [...] in Canada, in which I got the chance to gain valuable experience. In my job I improved as room attendant & night cleaner a lot of my productivity and efficiency as well the increase of expectations from my managers.

My strong points are that I am very reliable and focused on my work, cooperatively and decidedly friendly to the hotel guests. I was able to work independently at night cleaning and being consequently responsible for the departments Housekeeping, Stewarding, and Spa.

The previous experience is a good foundation for a new job opportunity for an entry to mid level position in your company and I am willing to develop further skills.

Should any position be available within the near future, I hope that you'll find my experience and interests intriguing enough to warrant a personal meeting, as I am confident that I could provide value to you and your customers as a member of your team.


Thank you for taking the time and consideration and I look forward to hear from you about any employment opportunity.


Respectfully yours,