Englisch text

[Hannes594]

Hallo

wir sollten zu folgender frage einen text schreiben :"tourism is bad for the environment"
hier mein text :

Yesterday I red in the newspaper that tourism destroys the environment. The first argument was that the fumes from the cars damage the ozonosphere. The next point was that many holidaymakers contaminate the meadows, lakes, rivers and beaches with garbage when they have a picnic or then they lie on the beach for example. Thirdly the rainforest will demolishes to build more new and colossally hotels for the holidaymakers and many exotic and rar animals lost their biosphere. I think the tourisms destroy the environment too. But also the tourism is very important for the economy and various countries earn a lot of money with tourism.

würde mich freuen wenn ihr fehler finden würdet und verbesserungsvorschläge geben würdet

[Cliff]

Yesterday I read (red ist die Farbe) an article in the newspaper that says that tourism destroys the environment. The first argument was that the fumes from the cars damage the ozonosphere. The next point was that many holidaymakers???noch nie gehört (tourists, vacationers) contaminate the meadows, lakes, rivers, and beaches with garbage when they have a picnic or thenwhen they lie on the beach for example. Thirdly, the rainforest will demolishes to build more new and colossally hotels for the holidaymakers and many exotic and rar animals lost their biosphere.???ganzer Satz I think thethat tourisms destroys the environment, too. But I also believe that the tourism is very important for the economy and various countries earn a lot of money with tourism.

[lilwing]

Yesterday, I read an article in the newspaper about how tourism can destroy the environment. This is because the fumes from the cars damage the ozone layer. Also, many tourists contaminate meadows, lakes, rivers, and beaches with garbage when they have picnics, etc. Many rain-forests are being destroyed to build colossal hotels for tourists, making many exotic animals endangered and some extinct! Although there are a lot of negative aspects about tourism, it is very important for the economy and various countries earn a lot of money.

There were a few flaws in Cliffs corrections. There are probably some from mine, too, but it is good to get a straight translation from a native English speaking tongue.

My advice to you is to work on transition between certain subjects. Know when to make a new paragraph. Also, have a little more information for each subject.

There are also many words that you can replace with the articles "he" "she" and "it" (which sound better to the reader, instead of repeating the nouns) Just learn that most inanimate objects in English are "it" and only things with a gender are considered a "he" or "she".

Keep studying the English! Good job!

[Cliff]

Well, we only correct texts. We don't rewrite them.

...and why did you replace ozonosphere with ozon layer. Both words are correct.

[lilwing]

...and why did you replace ozonosphere with ozon layer. Both words are correct.

Because I have never heard the word "ozonosphere" ever in my life. (it is more commonly spoken as "ozone layer" here, in America) I should've looked it up; according to http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ozonosphere it actually is a word. My apologies.

You wrote a new text and it is not HIS text anymore. That is NOT the purpose of this forum. We only give advice to those who ask which Cliff is competent to give and we don't sell anything.

I didn't rewrite his text. What I actually did was copy the text into the dialogue box and made changes. I did add words, and subract words, but so did Cliff. I also corrected several punctuation mistakes. Is there a limit as to how much correction we're supposed to do? If so, can I have a link to where it's written in the rules? My apologies if I was incorrect.

Also, why did you say "and we don't sell anything"? I didn't mention any kind of selling. I realize that the purpose of this forum is to help people (more specifically Germans) with their English. How does my corrections not help?

I still hope my corrections were valid and of value!

[Cliff]

...and why did you replace ozonosphere with ozon layer. Both words are correct.

Because I have never heard the word "ozonosphere" ever in my life. (it is more commonly spoken as "ozone layer" here, in America) I should've looked it up; according to http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ozonosphere it actually is a word. My apologies.

You probably have never heard of it, because it's a scientific term.

[lilwing]

You probably have never heard of it, because it's a scientific term.

This is probably so. My studies are based more on art, writing, and music.

It seems to me like you feel as though I was singling Cliff out. This, however, is not my intentions. I understand what mean mean about how this can build into a big snowball rolling down a mountain, confusing all the members who read. I think that the correcting would conclude to a near-perfect proofreading.

May we please continue this conversation via pm, so that we don't actually confuse the members in another way? It is kind of silly to trash threads, too.