puns

[Gast]

some in my opinion quite good ones:
(hope you don't know some of them yet)


2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won Ton

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour =
knot-furlong

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Hans and Stein were playing in their yard in Zurich when
one of the boys accidentally swallowed a coin and started
choking. Hans ran inside to get help, yelling "Mom! Dad!
Come quick! There's a franc in Stein!"

[sweety-deluxe]

how funny :)
don´t you think some of your puns are rather macabre(gibts des wort?-->makaber)
especially the one with the baby oil?
where have you got all these puns?:)

[Gast]

well yes, some of them are horrible (=makaber) but anyway they are funny, arn't they?

[Gast]

Here are some new ones:

"He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends."

"A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired."

"There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils."

"Some people's noses and feet are build backwards: their feet smell and their noses run."

[Gast]

Not all of them are real puns - but anyway they are all true statements (at least in a way )
Here we go (these are my favourites):

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!

Hard works pays off in the future, but lazyness pays off now.

If everything seems to be going well you have obviously overlooked something.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

:tup: If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. - just think about that one!


:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

[Gast]

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation.

The very proper lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say, "Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "I justa tella my friend how to spella Mississippi."

[anna_bub12]

hahaha... they're really good!

[Gast]

Seven days without water makes one weak.

"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say
and say the opposite." (Sam Levenson)