Bitte um Summary-Kontrolle

[Damm]

Hi,

kann mir bitte jemand diese kurze summary korrigieren???

In chapter two Jesminder gets to know Jules, she is football fanatic too. It opens with that situation: Jess and the other boys (Taz, Tony and others) are playing and the girls, sitting on a bench, make stupid verdicts about the relationship between Tony and Jess. They are all solded on Taz. Then Jules comes and explains that she plays for Hounslow Harries girl´s side and offers Jess to have a trial. The boys are jealously about Jess, because Jules didn´t notice the boys and made Jess such a offer. Jess seizes the chance and meets the trainer of the team at the pitch; he is called Joe. He calls on her to have a match with Jules and the other players. Jules and Jess scores a goal and Jess is very proud about herself although she is very nervous. After that Joe tells Jess that he had never seen an Indian girl into football and that it is Jules "fault" that there exists a girlteam. When Joe is gone, a talk between the two girls shows, that Jules want to play professionally football in America. The chapter concludes with Jess thoughts: She is amazing how football can be a job for women and also about Jules parents, beause they support her and that is in contrast to Jess parents.


Hoffe, es hilft mir jemand!

Gruß Damm

[$pidermonkey]

In chapter two Jesminder gets to know Jules, who is a football fanatic, too, when It begins with that situation: Jess and the other boys (Taz, Tony and others) are playing and the girls, sitting on a bench, make stupid statements about the relationship between Tony and Jess. They are all solded(?) on Taz. Then Jules comes and explains that she plays for Hounslow Harries girl´s side and offers Jess to have a trial. The boys are jealously of Jess because Jules didn´t notice the boys and made Jess such an offer. Jess seizes the chance and meets Joe, the trainer of the team, at the pitch; he is called Joe. He calls on her to have a match with Jules and the other players. Jules and Jess score a goal and Jess is very proud of herself although she is very nervous. After that Joe tells Jess that he had never seen an Indian girl into football and that it is Jules's "fault" that there is a girls' team. When Joe is gone, a talk between the two girls shows that Jules wants to play football professionally in America. The chapter concludes with Jess's thoughts: She is amazed at how football can be a job for women and also about Jules's parents, beause they support her and that is in contrast to Jess's parents.

[raincat]

Hi,

ich habe eigentlich nur Winzigkeiten gefunden:

... that it is Jules' "fault" that there exists ... (Apostroph)

... that Jules wants to play ... (s)

... Jess' thoughts (Apo.)

... Jules' parents (Apo.)

... Jess' parents (Apo.)

Viele Grüße/raincat

[raincat]

Hi, Spidermonkey

meines Erachtens ist es unüblich, nach einem End-"s" noch ein weiteres zu setzen ... da folgt doch wohl nur ein Apostroph ...