Vergangenheitsform

[kuschelmaus3975]

Hallo...
Wäre lieb wenn sich jemand mal meinen Text durchschauen würde...habe in der Vergangenheit geschrieben...mir geht es auch größten teil nur um die Vergangenheit...sind die Sätze alle vergangenheitsgemß oder habe ich irgendwo was falsch gemacht??? Wär echt cool wenn mir jemand helfen könnte, denn mit zeitformen habe ich ganz schöne Probleme.

Industrial Revolution, Second
A term which is used to refer to fundamental changes which took place in the field of work during the last decades of the 20th century.
The release were the increased use of computers and robots in the workplace. They made it possible to reduce or abandon many routine, physicially demanding or hazardous jobs. Besides the computer has substituted a lot of paper work and information were within seconds around the globe. This development offered new opportunities for peoples to work at home. Those are advantages, but there were also disadvantages, for example this style of working led to more isolation as workers have less interactions with colleagues.
In an other field, manufacturing, the assembly line ended - the result was more group work. The unemployment of unskilled labour reached a high level, because f.e. in industry there were only jobs, who are accessible to skilled workers. Also in manufacturing there were more unemployed person. While in the Western economies the unemployment reached a high level, there were in the service sector (waiters,hair-dressers, legal and financial advisers) a tendency to more employment. All this had a great impact on the trade unions. They have seen their membership drastically reduced and they found it more diffucult ro recruit new members,.
This service sector has been accelerated by the international division of labour. Heavy industry and a lot of manufacturing have been shifted towards formerly less industrialized countries. (East Asia) This has resulted in the loss of many jobs. (Western europe, North America). It had to become easier for companies to invest abroad or to import and export, because the international exchange of capital, informations and commodities has been facilitated.

[Saphira]

Im Großen und Ganzen ist es ok, allerdings sind hier und da nicht nur Fehler in der Zeitform, sondern auch fehlerhafte Satzkonstruktionen und einiges ist rein inhaltlich - vom Sinn her - nicht ganz schlüssig. Vielleicht solltest du dahingehend nochmal den Text durcharbeiten.
Ich nenn mal ein paar Beispiele:

Besides the computer has substituted a lot of paper work and information were within seconds around the globe.

Hier würde ich wenigstens mit einem Wort das Internet nennen, denn Computer alleine helfen da nicht. Nur als Anmerkung.

Those are advantages, but there were also disadvantages...

Those were! Die Konstruktion finde ich allerdings nicht sehr schön. Besser wäre, wenn du vor der Aufzählung der Vorteile schreiben würdest, dass die Voteile wie folgt sind... und dann die Vorteile aufzählen. Danach dann: "But there where also disadvantages, as in..." oder so.

as workers have less interactions with colleagues.

as workers had... Schöner wäre es mit "as workers now had".

In an other field, manufacturing, the assembly line ended - the result was more group work.

Du willst sicher sagen, dass die Fließbandproduktion eingestellt wurde? Dann vielleicht "In the field of manufacturing, working on assembly lines was replaced with working in groups". Wäre so die einfachste Variante.

The unemployment of unskilled labour reached a high level, because f.e. in industry there were only jobs, who are accessible to skilled workers.

,which were accessible

Den Satz mit dem Servicesektor und dem Wirtschaftssystem finde ich seltsam, da weiß ich nicht genau, was du sagen willst.
Das wären aber mal ein paar Beispiele. Ich hoffe, dass es dir ein wenig weiterhilft und du so den Rest des Textes selber überarbeiten kannst.