Englisch - Bildinterpretation

[Lifro]

So hallo

Ich brauche eure Hilfe. Wir müssen in Englisch eine Bild(interpetation)-Erläuterung machen.
Das vor der Klasse. Soweit kein problem, denk ich mal.
Ich hab ein Bild gefunden und soweit probiert wieder zugeben.
Mir fehlt aber der Schluss und dann bitt ich euch, mal den Text nach grammatischen und Rechtschreibfehlern durch zu gucken.
Wäre echt nett!
Villt fällt euch ja noch was ein!?

Hier der Text ...aber erstma das Foto ^^

http://www.stern.de/unterhaltung/fotogr ... m%20l&cp=4

Today I’m the next; they have to interpret a picture. I choose a photo, because I love photography. I take photos myself and therefore have chosen this picture.
It was really easy to find some photos in the internet. But there were so many good pictures which did not simplify my choice. Then I found the homepage http://www.stern.de which showed
The World Press Award 2005: Pictures of the Last Year.
It is a competition and it was awarded prices in different categories.
At the end I choose the photo in the category Spot News, Stories

(klick, das Foto wird gezeigt)


The photo has the name Hurrikan Kathrina in New Orleans
Michael Appleton shot this picture August/September 2005

So, now I believe everybody knows what is to be seen on the photo.
Now I want to try to interpret the photo.
In the foreground you see a man, alone standing, knee deep in water and hold a bucket in the right hand.
Maybe to shovel water from the houses or his own house, because the hurricane Kathrina has arranged a lot of damage.
On the right side is a small park where you can see a children's slide

Kathrina flood the whole town. A lot was destroyed by it, many people were killed.
In the background, you can see destroyed, burning houses.
I think it were hotels or equipment.
Yellow big clouds climb up.

(kurze Pause)

(dann an alle eine Frage)
How do you like this photo?
(antworten abwarten)

I like this photo very much.
Because the perspective and the atmosphere are right.
I think it points the helplessness of this person and this situation…
The man stands there, is shocked, bewildered and does not know further….like million other people.
One sees nothing of the face of the man, but I think every body think in this moment the same.
They cry for help.
Are helpless .
Want stop this.
Want to survive…

so jetzt fehlt der Schluss! Und noch was?
Natürlich muss ich vor der Klasse free sprechen ,bzw Stichpunktzettel

Aich werde auf alle Fälle noch begründen warum genau ich das Bild genommen habe. Zb wegen der fetten Spiegelund um Wasser. Und ...das es halt die Wahrheit , das Schlimme zeigt....
Mfg Lifro

[MLS]

Ich versuche mich mal an deinem Text und korrigiere was mir spontan einfällt bzw. auffällt.

Zunächst einmal würde ich die Klasse begrüßen und um Aufmerksamkeit bitten.
Das könnte ungefähr so klingen:

Good morning everyone!
Today it is my turn to interpret a chosen picture. May I have your attention, please?
If you have questions please feel free to interrupt me during my speech/I'd be pleased to answer them at the end of my presentation.

I'd like to start my interpretation by giving you a brief explanation why I chose the following picture:  I choose a picture, because I love photography. I take photos myself and therefore I have chosen this picture.

(That is not really the rason why you decided to take THIS picture. It only explains why you decided to take A picture. Give another reason!)

It was really easy to find some pictures in the internet. There were so many good pictures which did not simplify my choice. Then I found the homepage http://www.stern.de which shows
"The World Press Award 2005: Pictures of the Last Year".
It is a competition and it awards prices in different categories.
At the end I choose the picture of the category Spot News, Stories

(klick, das Foto wird gezeigt)


The photo was named "Hurrikan Kathrina in New Orleans".
It was taken by Michael Appleton in August/September 2005

Now I guess that everybody knows what is to be seen on the picture and therefore I will try to interpret it now.
In the foreground you can see a single man knee-deep in water, holding a bucket in the right hand.
Maybe he uses it to shovel water from the houses or his own house, because the hurricane Kathrina caused a lot of damage.
On the right side is a small park where you can see a children's slide.

(Not enough information - there is more to see and therefor more to write)

Kathrina flood the whole town and destroyed almost all of it. Many people were killed.
In the background, you can see destroyed, burning houses.
I think it were hotels or equipment.
Yellow big clouds climb up.

(Not enough information - there is more to see and therefor more to write)

(kurze Pause)

(dann an alle eine Frage)
How do you like this photo?
(antworten abwarten)

like this photo very much because the perspective and the atmosphere are right.

(sounds a bit strange to me... why is the atmosphere right?)

I think it points out the helplessness of the person and the situation…
The man stands there, is shocked, bewildered,and on a loss….like million other people.
One can see nothing of the man's face but I think that everybody thinks the same at the moment.

(Who is everybody? The victims of Kathrina or your classmates?)

They cry for help, are helpless, want stop this, want to survive…

Zum Schluss würde ich nocheinmal alles kurz zusammenfassen, die anderen um die Meinung zu diesem Thema bitten und das ganze mit einer Verabschiedung ausklingen lassen.

Allerdings muss ich auch sagen, dass das ganze ein wenig mager ist und zu wenig Informationen für eine Interpretation enthält. Da erzählst du keine 5 Minuten (Gut, ich weiß natürlich nicht, wie lange die dauern soll  :mrgreen: )
Um das ganze schöner klingen zu lassen, würde ich außerdem mehr Struktur in das ganze bringen,nicht hin und her springen und Argumente in nur einem Satz erläutern. Schöner klingen lassen kannst du das ganze mit bestimmten Phrasen, die das ganze ein wenig auflockern und abwechslungsreicher und professioneller wirken lassen.
Dazu schau dir mal folgenden Link an.
http://www.englisch-hilfen.de/board/ftopic2195.html

Da es schon spät ist, garantiere ich nicht auf Richtigkeit und würde auch andere bitte, da nochmal drüberzuschauen.

[Lifro]

Guten Morgen!

Vielen Dank für deine Antwort! Sehr hilfreich. Ich probiere deine Kritik und Vorschläge einzubringen.
Ich geh erstmal duschen und dann werd ich mich weiter an der Interpretation arbeiten.

Lifro

[Lifro]

So nun der Überarbeitet Text! Ich hab probiert vieles zu verbessern und phrases mit ein zubringen, aber dies ehr gering
Um deine andere Frage zu beanworten. Die Interpretation ist in wirklichkeit keine richtige Interpretation, die tiefsinnig sein muss. Die Anderen haben au nur 5-10 Min gesprochen. Es reichte. Ich finde es zwar au komisch, aber wenn es die Lehrerin so reicht.





Good morning everyone!
Today it is my turn to interpret a chosen picture. May I have your attention, please?
If you have questions please feel free to interrupt me during my speech/I'd be pleased to answer them at the end of my presentation.
As the first I will read out the words they might be unknown.

(also ich schreib die vorher an die Tafel und les sie alle nochmal vor)



I'd like to start my interpretation by giving you a brief explanation why I chose the following picture:
(klick, das Foto wird gezeigt)

On the first sight I liked the fire and the reflections in the water.
It looks wonderful! But after few seconds I saw what really in the picture is to be seen. It is a nice photo which art and force of nature brings together.
The photographer shot the picture at the right moment and expresses in my opinion the right atmosphere with it. So I love this photo.


It was really easy to find some pictures in the internet. There were so many good pictures which did not simplify my choice. Then I found the homepage http://www.stern.de which shows
"The World Press Award 2005: Pictures of the Last Year".
It is a competition and it awards prices in different categories.
At the end I choose the picture of the category Spot News, Stories


The photo was named "Hurrikan Kathrina in New Orleans".
It was taken by Michael Appleton in August/September 2005


Now I guess that everybody knows what is to be seen on the picture and therefore I will try to interpret it now.
In the foreground you can see a single man knee-deep in water, holding a bucket in the right hand.
I am not sure, but I think he uses it to shovel water from the houses or his own house, because the hurricane Kathrina caused a lot of damage.
On the right side is a small park where you can see a children's slide
In the background, you can see destroyed, burning houses.
I think it were hotels or equipment.
From them rise big yellow clouds climb up
A villa stands on the right side. It starts to burn
Everything is rather dark because of the smoke.
Kathrina flood the whole town. A lot was destroyed by it, many people were killed.

(kurze Pause)

(dann an alle eine Frage)
How do you like this photo?
(antworten abwarten)

I like this photo, because the photographer creates the right atmosphere with this perspective.
I think it points out the helplessness of the person and the situation…
The man stands there, is shocked, bewildered and on a loss….like million other people in this same situation.
One can see nothing of the man's face but I can imagine that victims of Kathrina thinks the same like the man there.
They cry for help.
Are helpless .
Want stop this.
Want safe her houses.
Want to survive…


In my opinion the photographer wanted to show us what can arrange a Hurricane.
Which power has this and what can arrange it everything and we people are powerless against it.
I might be wrong but maybe he wanted to wake up us with it and appeal for helping
We can do nothing against such forces of nature, but we can help the affected persons.
So, In my opinion he chose this motive wilfully
In my opinion he chose this motive perfectly to show around the advantage of the nature
and to show the powerlessness of the people against this.



This was mine interpretation to this photo.Thank you taht you have listened to me and if you have still questions then ask me pls.



So wie is nun das. Kalr man könnte noch weiter ins Detail gehn ..aber na ja

Danke schonmal
Lifro

[Lifro]

Wäre nett wenn jemand bis spätestens 8 nochma durch geschaut hat! Muss daraus noch Stichpunkte machen und nochma bissl einprägen und drauf vorbereiten

Danke Lifro

[MLS]

Good morning everyone!
Today it is my turn to interpret a chosen picture. May I have your attention, please?
If you have questions please feel free to interrupt me during my speech/I'd be pleased to answer them at the end of my presentation.

(Do you want them to ask you before or after your presentation?)

As the first I will read out the words that might be unknown.

(also ich schreib die vorher an die Tafel und les sie alle nochmal vor)

I'd like to start my interpretation by giving you a brief explanation why I chose the following picture:
(klick, das Foto wird gezeigt)

On the first sight I liked the fire and the reflections in the water.
It looks wonderful! But after a few seconds I saw what the picture really shows. It is a nice photo which brings art and force of nature together.
The photographer shot the picture at the right moment. In my opinion he expresses the right atmosphere. So I love this photo.

It was really easy to find some pictures in the internet. There were so many good pictures which did not simplify my choice. Then I found the homepage http://www.stern.de which shows
"The World Press Award 2005: Pictures of the Last Year".
It is a competition and it awards prices in different categories.
At the end I choose the picture of the category Spot News, Stories


The photo was named "Hurrikan Kathrina in New Orleans".
It was taken by Michael Appleton in August/September 2005

Now I guess that everybody knows what can to be seen on the picture and therefore I will try to interpret it now.
In the foreground you can see a single man knee-deep in water, holding a bucket in the right hand.
I am not sure, but I think he uses it to shovel water from the houses or his own house, because the hurricane Kathrina caused a lot of damage.
On the right side is a small park where you can see a children's slide
In the background, you can see destroyed, burning houses.
I think it were hotels or equipment.
Big yellow clouds are rising into the sky.
A villa stands on the right side. It starts to burn
Everything is rather dark because of the smoke.
Kathrina flood the whole town and destroyed a lot of it, many people were killed.

(kurze Pause)

(dann an alle eine Frage)
How do you like this photo?
(antworten abwarten)

I like this photo, because the photographer creates the right atmosphere with this perspective.
I think it points out the helplessness of the person and the situation…
The man stands there, is shocked, bewildered and on a loss….like million other people in this same situation.
One can see nothing of the man's face but I can imagine that the victims of Kathrina think the same like the man.
They cry for help.
Are helpless .
Want stop this.
Want safe her houses.
Want to survive…

(Use whole sentences)


In my opinion the photographer wants to show us what a can Hurricane cause.
He wants to show us its power and make clear that humans are powerless when natural desaster occur/happen.
I might be wrong but maybe he wants to arouse attention with his picture and appeal for help.
We can do nothing against such forces of nature, but we can help the affected persons.
So, In my opinion he chose this motive wilfully.
I believe he chose this motive to show the advantages of the nature
and the powerlessness of the people.

This was my interpretation of this photo.Thank you for listening and if you have still questions then ask me please.

Das ganze ist immernoch nicht perfekt, aber ich habe jetzt leider keine Zeit mehr.
Ich will dir nicht zu nahe treten, aber dein Englisch bedarf an einigen Stellen dringender Übung. Du schreibst Sätze, in denen man die Englische Grammatik kaum wiederfindet. Die hälst dich viel zu sher an die deutsche Satzsetellung. Das kannst du nicht machen, denn im englischen klingt das ganze dann absolut grausam.
Ich hoffe trotzdem, dass ich dir ein wenig helfen konnte. Vielleicht schaut ja auch mal ein anderer drüber.
Viel Erfolg moch!
Melanie

[Lifro]

Danke Melanie, ich weiß garnet wie ich mich bedanken könnte.

Ja ich weiß, mein Englisch ist ehr schlecht als recht. Meine Lehrerin hat auch schonmal gesagt, dass ich mir ehr an den deutschen Sätzen klammer.
Ich werde versuchen mein Englisch zu bessern. Danke dir, ist echt nett das du hier andere unter die Arme greifst!

[MLS]

Danke Melanie, ich weiß garnet wie ich mich bedanken könnte.

Kein Problem! Dafür sind wir hier. Nur bin ich selbst noch nicht so ganz zufrieden damit, aber das sollte ok so sein.
Viel Erfolg damit!