Zukünftiger Job :)

[Mrs.Potter]

Hallo  Ich muss mich für einen Englisch- Test vorbereiten und habe diesen Text erfasst, könntet ihr den Text mal anschauen? Ich bin nicht die beste in Englisch, deswegen entschuldige ich mich jetzt schon mal.

Future Job
My future job is veterinarian.
Veterinarians care for the health of animals and work to improve public health. The work is varied. The vet examine animals to diagnose their health problems and prescribe medication. Or he treats and dress wounds or euthanize animals.

There are five different types of veterinarian.
Companion animal veterinarians works with little animals, for example dogs or cats and generally they work in private clinics and Hospitals.
The equine veterinarians, this vet-type works with horses.
Food animal veterinarians, this vet works with farm animals such as pigs, cattle, and sheep.
Food safety and inspection veterinarians, the vet inspect and test livestock and animal products for major animal diseases
Research veterinarians, this type of vet works in laboratories, conducting clinical research on human and animal health Problems.
Some veterinarians become post secondary teachers at colleges and universities.
I will be a companion animal vet, because I love little animals. Also, I love big animals but I can work better with little. Because I have really big respect of big and dangerous animals.

When working with animals that are frightened or in pain, veterinarians risk being bitten, kicked, and scratched. Veterinarians often work long hours. Some work nights or weekends, and they may have to respond to emergencies outside of scheduled work hours.
 
A vet need to be: compassion, find the correct treatment, strong communication skills are essential for veterinarians, management skills are important for this job, manual dexterity and it is necessary to love animals.  

When I think about my future, the most important thing for me is to first to finish the Bezirk-school with good marks. I need good marks, so can I going to the cantonschool. Is a very long way until I am a vet. The cantonschool takes three years. Further five years for the university. And one year for the doctor title. But I like to go to school and love study new things. I'am happy with my choice.
I will be a vet because, since I was a little girl, I will be a vet and help animals. But my biggest motivation or my aim is, when I'm older, I will travel to other lands and help these animals. There are many street dogs, who need help. Clear is nice when I have a doctor title and a good pay. But this isn't my motivation. I'm really happy when I have a good education and at the same time help animals. I think it is my purpose to save animals life. I know I will never be so powerful that I can change the world for all animals. But maybe I can change the world from these animals who I save.
(Mit mit dem letzten Satz, bin ich mir nicht sicher wie ich den schreiben soll. Ich wollte damit sagen:  das ich die Welt nicht ändern kann wenn ich paar Tieren helfen, aber vielleicht kann ich die Welt von den geretteten Tieren ändern. )


Vielen Dank für eure Hilfe  

[Keswick (Contributor)]

There are five different types of veterinarian.
Companion animal veterinarians works with little animals, for example dogs or cats and generally they work in private clinics and Hospitals.
The equine veterinarians, this vet-type works with horses.
Food animal veterinarians, this vet works with farm animals such as pigs, cattle, and sheep.
Food safety and inspection veterinarians, the vet inspect and test livestock and animal products for major animal diseases.
Research veterinarians, this type of vet works in laboratories, conducting clinical research on human and animal health Problems.
Some veterinarians become post secondary teachers at colleges and universities.
I will be a companion animal vet, because I love little animals. Also, I love big animals but I can work better little. Because I have really big respect of big and dangerous animals.

When working with animals that are frightened or in pain, veterinarians risk being bitten, kicked, and scratched. Veterinarians often work long hours. Some work nights or weekends, and they may have to respond to emergencies outside of scheduled work hours.
 
A vet need to be: compassion, find the correct treatment, strong communication skills are essential for veterinarians, management skills are important for this job, manual dexterity and it is necessary to love animals.  

Hallo Mrs Potter,

Ich habe mit der Verbesserung angefangen und entschieden, dass ich die Korrektur nicht fertig stellen werde. Der Grund hierfuer ist, dass der Grossteil der kursiv markierten Stellen 1:1 von den Webseiten collegegrad und careergirls stammt.

Ich korrigiere deinen Text gerne, wenn du ihn selber schreibst, denn die oben verwendeten Textabschnitte unterliegen dem Urheberrecht und stellen ausserdem keinen Eigenversuch dar (siehe Forenregeln).

Gruss
Keswick

[Mrs.Potter]

There are five different types of veterinarian.
Companion animal veterinarians works with little animals, for example dogs or cats and generally they work in private clinics and Hospitals.
The equine veterinarians, this vet-type works with horses.
Food animal veterinarians, this vet works with farm animals such as pigs, cattle, and sheep.
Food safety and inspection veterinarians, the vet inspect and test livestock and animal products for major animal diseases.
Research veterinarians, this type of vet works in laboratories, conducting clinical research on human and animal health Problems.
Some veterinarians become post secondary teachers at colleges and universities.
I will be a companion animal vet, because I love little animals. Also, I love big animals but I can work better little. Because I have really big respect of big and dangerous animals.

When working with animals that are frightened or in pain, veterinarians risk being bitten, kicked, and scratched. Veterinarians often work long hours. Some work nights or weekends, and they may have to respond to emergencies outside of scheduled work hours.
 
A vet need to be: compassion, find the correct treatment, strong communication skills are essential for veterinarians, management skills are important for this job, manual dexterity and it is necessary to love animals.  

Hallo Mrs Potter,

Ich habe mit der Verbesserung angefangen und entschieden, dass ich die Korrektur nicht fertig stellen werde. Der Grund hierfuer ist, dass der Grossteil der kursiv markierten Stellen 1:1 von den Webseiten collegegrad und careergirls stammt.

Ich korrigiere deinen Text gerne, wenn du ihn selber schreibst, denn die oben verwendeten Textabschnitte unterliegen dem Urheberrecht und stellen ausserdem keinen Eigenversuch dar (siehe Forenregeln).

Gruss
Keswick

Guten Abend , ja das stimmt ich habe paar Sachen übernommen. Die fünf verschiedene Arzt-Typen, hab ich immer die ersten Sätze genommen, weil ich die gut fand und ich nicht wüsste, wie anders beschreiben. Der zweite Satz ist tatsächlich 1:1 übernommen, den ich gerne streiche und das letzte hab ich nur die Verben übernommen und ein wenig umformuliert . Ich hoffe, ich hab es wieder gut gemacht und Sie mir  erneut helfen

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Hallo Mrs Potter,

Ich schaue mir deine neue Version gerne an, aber leider hast du keine neue Version deines Textes eingestellt, damit ich diese verbessern kann.

Gruss
Keswick

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Keine Verbesserungsanfragen per PN. Danke.

Future Job
My future job is veterinarian.
Veterinarians care for the health of animals and work to improve public health. The work is varied. The vet examines animals to diagnose their health problems and prescribe medication. Or they treat and dress wounds or euthanize animals.
There are five different types of veterinarian.                                       
Companion animal veterinarians work with little animals, for example dogs or cats and they generally work in private clinics and hospitals.
Equine veterinarians, this vet-type works with horses.
Food animal veterinarians, this vet works with farm animals such as pigs, cattle, and sheep.
Food safety and inspection veterinarians, this vet inspects and tests livestock and animal products for major animal diseases
Research veterinarians, this type of vet works in laboratories, conducting clinical research on human and animal health problems.

Some veterinarians become post secondary teachers at colleges and universities.
I will be a companion animal vet, because I love little animals. I also love big animals but I can work better with the smaller ones as I have really big respect of big and dangerous animals.
A vet needs to be compassionate, a vet must be friendly and sensitive with the tidings (sinnlos - nicht jeder Tierarzt arbeitet mit Pferden), find the correct treatment, manage a team and a business, be dexterous and it is necessary that they to love animals. 

When I think about my future, the most important thing for me is to first to finish the advanced school with good marks. I need good marks, so can I going to the cantonal school. Becoming a vet will take quite some time. The cantonal school takes three years. Further five years for the university. And one year for the doctor title. But I like to go to school and learning new things. I'am happy with my choice.   have been wanting to become a vet since I was a little girl. I want to be a vet and help animals. But my biggest motivation or my aim is to travel to other countries when I am older, and to help animals there. There are many street dogs, which need help. Naturally it is nice to have a doctor title and a good pay. But this isn't my motivation. I'm really happy to have a good education and at the same time help animals. I think it is my purpose to save the lives of animals. I know I will never be so powerful enough to change the world for all animals. But maybe I can change the world of those animals that I save.

[Alyssea]

Future Job
My future job is veterinarian. (This phrasing is a little unnatural. "I'm studying to become a veterinarian" or "In the future, I will have a veterinary job" would sound better.)
Veterinarians care for animals and work to improve public health related to animals. The work is varied. The vet examines animals to diagnose their health problems and prescribe medication. They also treat and dress wounds and euthanize animals.
There are five different types of veterinarian.                                       
Companion animal veterinarians work with little animals like dogs and cats, and they generally work in private clinics and hospitals.
Equine veterinarians work with horses.
Food animal veterinarians work with farm animals such as pigs, cattle, and sheep.
Food safety and inspection veterinarians inspect and test livestock and animal products for major animal diseases.
Research veterinarians work in laboratories, conducting clinical research on human and animal health problems. 
("<type> veterinarians," is a fragment. These sentences are much better taking out the comma and "this vet" and just saying the type of vet and what they do. If you want to have these as a casual list rather than sentences, you should probably have bullet points, and then make them obviously not sentences, using phrasing like "Equine veterinarian: horses" and "Companion animal veterinarian: dogs and cats, work in private clinics and hospitals". But if you want full sentences, how I've edited them is correct.)

Some veterinarians become postsecondary teachers at colleges and universities.
I will be a companion animal vet because I love little animals. I also love big animals, but I will be able to work better with smaller ones, as I have a healthy respect of big and dangerous animals.
A vet needs to be compassionate, friendly, and sensitive, and they need to be able to find the correct treatment, manage a team and business, have dexterity, and, most importantly, love animals. 

When I think about my future, the most important thing is to first to finish my advanced schooling with good grades. I need good grades so I can go to cantonal school. Becoming a vet will take quite some time. Cantonal school takes three years. Then I'll need to take another five years at the university. And one more year for the doctor title. But I like to go to school and learn new things. I'm happy with my choice. I have been wanting to become a vet since I was a little girl. I want to be a vet so I can help animals. But my biggest motivation is to be able to travel to other countries when I am older and help animals there. There are many street dogs that need help. Naturally, it is nice to have a doctorate and good pay. But that isn't my motivation. I'm really happy to have a good education and help animals at the same time. I think my purpose is to save the lives of animals. I know I will never be powerful enough to change the world for all animals, but maybe I can change the world for those animals that I do save.

Added some further changes.