Hallo Leute,
um für meinen Toefl-Test zu üben, habe ich einen Essay geschrieben. Ich hoffe jemand könnte Ihn korrigieren und ein kurzes Feedback geben. Dies ist die zweite Aufgabe des "Writing"-Parts für die 30 min gegeben sind. Die Aufgabenstellung lautete:
Some People say that advertisements encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Other say that advertisement tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.
Essay:
I would agree with both parts. On one hand, there are many products which are unnecessary to buy, and advertisement can manipulate us in a way to spend our money for things we could use for so many better reasons. On the other hand, I like it to get inspired from creative advertisement and get ideas how i can make my life more comfortable and enjoyable, but it is in our own responsibility to keep it an appropriate measure. For Example, i really like to play videogames on my pc. The advertisement informs me which are the next games i want to play, and im often looking forward, cant await the realease of a game and consumes all videos and information which are created by the marketing. Sometimes It makes me happy when i am really interested in a product to get sorrounded from the advertisement. Unfortunately i buy often games when they are offered with special prizes or when I am in the mood to play a new game. It happened that I have spend so much money in so many games because of the ads, but i dont have enough time to play them all, or i am overdosed of the many games. If you own to many games you dont can focus on one, and then you will loose the interest very fast and skip to the next one.
I would had been happier when i had just bought one game and had focused on it, but through the advertisement i was nudged in a wrong direction. So finally there are risks to get manipulated, but mostly I enjoy advertisemt and let inspire me.
Vielen Dank, Noaland
TOEFL Essay
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Alyssea
Re: TOEFL Essay
Noaland hat geschrieben: I agree with both viewpoints. On one hand, there are many products that are unnecessary to buy, and advertisement can manipulate us to spend our money on those things, when we could instead be using it for many better things. On the other hand, I like to get inspired by creative advertising and get ideas about how I can make my life more comfortable and enjoyable, and I believe it is in our own responsibility to keep purchases to an appropriate measure. For example, I really like to play video games on my PC. Advertisements inform me of new games coming out, and I'm often looking forward to them, and can't await the release of a game. The anticipation causes me to consume all videos and information that are created by the marketing companies. Sometimes, it makes me happy when I am really interested in a product to be surrounded by the advertisements about it. Unfortunately, I often buy games on impulse when they are offered with special prizes or when I am in the mood to play a new game. I have spent a lot of money on many games because of their ads, but I don't have enough time to play them all and am overloaded by the amount I buy. If you own too many games, you can't just focus on one, and then you will lose interest in each one very quickly and skip to the next one.
I would have been happier if I had just bought one game and focused on it, but through advertising, I was nudged in a poor direction. To conclude, advertising causes the risk of getting manipulated, but for the most part, I would say it is a good thing because it's enjoyable and inspirational.
