Eurokom Verbesserung 2015

[blooeeh]

Hallo, ich habe mein Text zur Eurokom vor kurzem beendet und würde mich freuen, wenn jemand meinen Text korrigieren könnte. Ich habe schon längere zeit nach einer Nachhilfe gesucht, aber ohne Erfolg, deshalb würde ich mich sehr über eine Korrektur freuen damit ich so schnell wie möglich anfangen kann den Text zu lernen. 
Danke und MFG
Elvan
Mein Text: 
Good morning everyone. My name is ***, I'm ** years old and today I want to make a short tour lead with you, through Brighton. I hope you enjoy my tour. Let's start: 
First we need a hotel to store your baggage and to have a place to sleep. You just need a hotel to sleep, because we are actually for a full day in the city. That's why I took a hotel near the sights of Brighton.  
I selected the hotel: Hostel Point that you can see on this picture. His perfectly central location means to overlook the beach and the famous Brighton Pier. The Hostel Point is the perfect place to stay, if you want to enjoy what Brighton has to offer. 
The hostel has only beds and one dresser in the dorm rooms, but all rooms have a bathroom and 24 hour hot water. In addition guests can make use of the shared kitchen and lounge area. All bookings include free continental breakfast and free WiFi access.
The shared kitchen and the free continental breakfast is always a plus for travellers, because you get it not always for that price. One night for an adult costs only 18 dollar.
Now I want to give you an insight into the lounge area. As you can see in the picture the lounge area has TVs and seating. Either you can watch television, make a small talk or go for free in the internet, on your mobile phone. 
Let's now move to a sight. I chose the Brighton Pier that is only 5 minutes away from the hostel. 
The Brighton Pier is one of the famous attractions around London. You can see it on this Picture. It's a long Pier with different things on it. 
It has rides, attractions, restaurants, amusement arcades and sweet souvenir stalls. 
I'll show you now some attractions on the pier. 
Let begin with the rides. 
For the thrill seekers, they have rides that will make the stomach leap and head spin. One of them is the Turbo Coaster that you can see on this picture.
But they have also traditional rides like carousel or dodgems.
Let's now move to the restaurants.  
The restaurants on the Brighton Pier have everything your heart desires. Either you can eat fabulous fish and chips where cooked to perfection or you can eat fast food from the kiosks of the pier.  For example a hamburger.
Of course you can buy there more delicious food. That was just a example of the amazing food there. If you 're hungry you really need to go there and eat something in one of the restaurant on the Brighton Pier. I am sure that you will enjoy the food there.
Now we come to the last point that I want to imagine on the Brighton Pier. The amusement arcades. 
The amusement arcades plays a major part in Brighton's economy. Through the arcades Brighton wins a lot of money.
The Pier has many different arcades. You can see here some of the arcardes. 
Now I want to give you an insight from the Royal Pavilion in Brighton. 
George, the Prince of Wales let build his seaside retreat, from John Nash, into the villa that we can see today. Nash designed the palace like a indian or islamic architecture on the outside and the inside is heavily influenced by Chinese fashion. The fanciful inside design, primarily by Frederick Crace and the little-known decorative painter Robert Jones. Later Quen Victoria sold the pleasture palace to the town of Brighton for £50,000 in 1850. Many of the Pavilion's original fixtures and fittings were removed for use in other royal homes, but Victoria returned in 1864 many items. The rest stay in the Buckingham palace and the Windsor Castle. 
During the First World War, the Pavilion was used as a hospital for Indian solidiers. Muslims were given space on the eastern lawns to pray facing towards Mecca. As a result of the War the inside were altered and sometimes damaged. 
But in 1920 a programme of restoration began and is continued until today. Now, all furniture get cleaned carefully in the palace. For example the pillows get cleaned like this: 
so, they put the material on the pillow and then they vacuum from the top to bottom and this again and again.
Let's now move to the last place that I want to show you today:
That is the beach in Brighton. 
If you just want to relax and swim, the beach in Brighton is perfekt for that. 
There are also some attractions on the beach. For example: the Ferris wheel that you can see on this picture. It's 50 meters high and has 36 capsules.
There is also a Bungee Jumping Trampoline that you can see here. 
This was my tour through Brighton. I hope you got a good impression of the sights that I showed you.
Thanks for listening. 

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Hallo, ich habe mein Text zur Eurokom vor kurzem beendet und würde mich freuen, wenn jemand meinen Text korrigieren könnte. Ich habe schon längere zeit nach einer Nachhilfe gesucht, aber ohne Erfolg, deshalb würde ich mich sehr über eine Korrektur freuen damit ich so schnell wie möglich anfangen kann den Text zu lernen. 

Danke und MFG
Elvan


Mein Text: 

Good morning everyone. My name is ***, I'm ** years old and today I would like to take you on a short tour through Brighton. I hope you enjoy my tour. Let's start: 

Firstly, we need a hotel to store your baggage in and to have a place to sleep. You just need a hotel to sleep, because we are actually for a full day in the city. (das verstehe ich nicht: du brauchst ein Hotel zum Schlafen, weil du einen ganzen Tag in Brighton bist?) That's why I chose a hotel close to the sights of Brighton.  I selected the hotel Hostel Point which you can see in this picture. Its perfectly central location overlooks the beach and the famous Brighton Pier. The Hostel Point is the perfect place to stay, if you want to enjoy what Brighton has to offer. 

The hostel only has beds and one dresser in each dorm room, but all rooms have a private bathroom and 24 hours hot water. In addition, guests can make use of the shared kitchen and lounge area. All bookings include free continental breakfast and free WiFi access.

The shared kitchen and the free continental breakfast are always a plus for travelers because such amenities aren't always included in the price. The price per night, per adult is only 18 dollar. (Den Preis zweifele ich stark an..   )

Now I'd like to give you an insight into the lounge area. As you can see in the picture, the lounge area has TVs and seating. Either you can watch television, make a small talk or make use of the free in the internet, on your mobile phone. 

Let's now move on to a sight. I chose the Brighton Pier which is only 5 minutes away from the hostel. The Brighton Pier is one of the most famous attractions outside of London. You can see it on this picture. It's a long pier where you can find a number of different attractions, such as rides, attractions, restaurants, amusement arcades and sweet treat kiosks. 
I'll now show you some attractions on the pier. Let's begin with the rides. For the thrill seekers, they have rides that will make your stomach leap and your head spin. One of them is the Turbo Coaster which you can see on this picture. But they have also traditional rides like a carousel or dodgems. 

Let's now move to the restaurants.  The restaurants on the Brighton Pier have everything your heart desires, from perfectly cooked fish and chips to hamburger which you can buy directly from one of the stalls on the pier. Of course you can buy there more delicious food there. These were just two examples of the amazing food there. If you 're hungry you really need to go there and eat something in one of the restaurant on the Brighton Pier. I am sure that you will enjoy the food there. (Diese beiden Saetze sind unnoetige Fueller)

Now we come to the last point that I want to imagine on the Brighton Pier (Verstehe ich nicht: du willst dir einen Punkt vorstellen?). The amusement arcades. The amusement arcades play a major part in Brighton's economy, providing a large amount of money to the local council each year. The Pier has many different arcades. You can see here some of the arcardes. 

Now I want to give you an insight into the Royal Pavilion in Brighton. George, the Prince of Wales had John Nash remodel his seaside retreat into the villa that we can see today. On the outside, Nash designed the palace following Indian or Islamic architecture, while the inside is heavily influenced by Chinese fashion. The fanciful inside design, primarily by Frederick Crace and the little-known decorative painter Robert Jones.  )(direkt aus Wikipedia kopiert!) Later in 1850, Queen Victoria sold the pleasure palace to the city of Brighton for £50,000. Many of the Pavilion's original fixtures and fittings were removed for use in other royal homes (direkt aus Wikipedia kopiert!), but Victoria returned many items in 1864 The rest stayed in the Buckingham palace and the Windsor Castle. 

During the First World War, the Pavilion was used as a hospital for Indian soldiers. Muslims were given space on the eastern lawns to pray facing towards Mecca (direkt aus Wikipedia kopiert!). As a result of the war the inside were altered and some of them damaged. 

But in 1920, a programme of restoration began and has been continued until today. Now, all furniture get cleaned carefully in the palace. For example the pillows get cleaned like this: so, they put the material on the pillow (welches Material?) and then they vacuum the pillows from the top to bottom and this again and again.

Let's now move to the last place that I want to show you today: 
This is the beach of Brighton. 
If you just want to relax and swim, the beach in Brighton is perfect for that. 
There are also some attractions on the beach. For example: the Ferris wheel which you can see on this picture. It's 50 meters high and has 36 capsules. 

There is also a Bungee Jumping Trampoline which you can see here. 

This was my tour through Brighton. I hope you got a good impression of the sights that I showed you.

Thanks for listening. 

Hallo.

Man kann in deinem Text leider sehr gut erkennen, welche Abschnitte von dir selber stammen und welche aus dem Internet. Das solltest du unbedingt verbessern, denn bei einer Eurokom wird auf Plagiate geprueft.

Viel Glueck bei deiner Praesentation!

Keswick

[blooeeh]

Vielen dank für die Hilfe. Ich werde es nochmal bearbeiten. 

[blooeeh]

So, ich habe meinen Text nochmal bearbeitet. Könnten Sie es nochmal korrigieren? 

Text: 
Good morning everyone. My name is ***, I'm ** years old and today I would like to take you on a short tour through Brighton. I hope you enjoy my tour. Let's start: 
Firstly, we need a hotel to store your baggage in and to have a place to sleep, if my tour is over. I chose a hotel close to the sights that we will visit in Brighton.  I selected the hotel Hostel Point which you can see in this picture. Its perfectly central location overlooks the beach and the famous Brighton Pier. The Hostel Point is the perfect place to stay, if you want to enjoy what Brighton has to offer. 
The hostel only has beds and one dresser in each dorm room, but all rooms have a private bathroom and 24 hours hot water. In addition, guests can make use of the shared kitchen and lounge area. All bookings include free continental breakfast and free WiFi access.
The shared kitchen and the free continental breakfast are always a plus for travelers because such amenities aren't always included in the price. 
Now I'd like to give you an insight into the lounge area. As you can see in the picture, the lounge area has TVs and seating. Either you can watch television, make small talk or make use of the free internet, on your mobile phone.
Let's now move on a sight. I chose the Brighton Pier which is only 5 minutes away from the hostel. The Brighton Pier is one of the most famous attractions outside of London. You can see it on this picture.  It's a long pier where you can find a number of different attractions, such as rides,  restaurants, amusement arcades and sweet treat kiosks. 
I'll now show you some attractions on the pier. Let's begin with the rides. For the thrill seekers, they have rides that will make your stomach leap and your head spin. One of them is the Turbo Coaster which you can see on this picture. But they are also traditional rides like a carousel or dodgems.
Let's now move to the restaurants. The restaurants on the Brighton Pier have everything your heart desires, from perfectly cooked fish and chips to hamburger which you can buy directly from one of the stalls on the pier. Of course you can buy more delicious food there. These were just two examples of the amazing food there.
Next I want to show you the amusement arcades on the Brighton pier. The amusement arcades play a major part in Brighton's economy, it providing a large amount of money for the local council each year. The Pier has many different arcades. You can see here some of the arcardes. 
Now I want to give you an insight from the Royal Pavilion in Brighton. George, Prince of Wales had John Nash remodel his seaside retreat into the villa that we can see today. On the outside, Nash designed the palace following Indian or Islamic architecture, while the inside is heavily influenced by Chinese fashion. 
The inside of the Royal Pavilion was designet by two different people. Once from the known designer Frederick Crace and  then from Robert Jones, who is a littleknown decorative painter.  
Here you can see a example of one of the amazing asian painting in the rooms of the pavilion.  In this painting you can see very well how complicated the asian paintings were made there. But they don't had paint only the walls. They also paint for example cupboards, chandelier and even more. 
Here you can see a chandelier where was painted. The Chinese figures on the glass were drawn perfectly in detail.  
Later in 1850, Queen Victoria sold the pleasure palace to the city of Brighotn for £50,000.  She ordered to bring the furniture of the palace in other royal homes because she hear that the furniture were destroyed. 
Victoria returned many items in 1864. The rest stayed in Buckingham palace and Windsor Castle. 
During the First World War, the Pavilion was used as a hospital for Indian soldiers. As a result the inside were altered and some of them damaged. 
Muslims were given space  behind the royal pavilion to bury their dead mates. They also say grace there because the Royal Pavilion looks a little bit like Mecca. 
In 1920, a programme of restoration began and has been continued until today. Now, all furniture get cleaned carefully in the palace. 
For example the pillows get cleaned like this: 
they put  the material on the pillow and then they vacuum the pillows from top to bottom and this again and again. 
Let's now move to the last place that I want to show you today: 
This is the beach of Brighton. If you just want to relax and swim, the beach in Brighton is perfect for that. There are also some attractions on the beach. For example: the Ferris wheel which you can see on this picture. It's 50 meters high and has 36 capsules. 
There is also a Bungee Jumping Trampoline which you can see here.
This was my tour though Brighton. I hope you got a good impression of the sights that I showed you. 
Thanks for listening. 

[Keswick (Contributor)]

So, ich habe meinen Text nochmal bearbeitet. Könnten Sie es nochmal korrigieren? 

Good morning everyone. My name is ***, I'm ** years old and today I would like to take you on a short tour through Brighton. I hope you’ll enjoy my tour. Let's start: 

Firstly, we need a hotel to store your baggage in and to have a place to sleep, once my tour is over. I chose a hotel close to the sights that we will visit in Brighton.  I selected the hotel Hostel Point which you can see in this picture. Its perfectly central location overlooks the beach and the famous Brighton Pier. The Hostel Point is the perfect place to stay, if you want to enjoy what Brighton has to offer. 

The hostel only has beds and one dresser in each dorm room, but all rooms have a private bathroom and 24 hours hot water. In addition, guests can make use of the shared kitchen and lounge area. All bookings include free continental breakfast and free WiFi access.

The shared kitchen and the free continental breakfast are always a plus for travelers because such amenities aren't always included in the price. 

Now I'd like to give you an insight into the lounge area. As you can see in the picture, the lounge area has TVs and seating. Either you can watch television, make small talk or make use of the free internet on your mobile phone.

Let's now move on to a sight. I chose the Brighton Pier which is only 5 minutes away from the hostel. The Brighton Pier is one of the most famous attractions outside of London. You can see it on this picture.  It's a long pier where you can find a number of different attractions, such as rides, restaurants, amusement arcades and sweet treat kiosks. 

I'll now show you some attractions on the pier. Let's begin with the rides. For the thrill seekers, they have rides that will make your stomach leap and your head spin. One of them is the Turbo Coaster which you can see in this picture. But there are also traditional rides like a carousel or dodgems.

Let's now move to the restaurants. The restaurants on the Brighton Pier have everything your heart desires, from perfectly cooked fish and chips to hamburgers which you can buy directly from one of the stalls on the pier. Of course you can buy more delicious food there. These were just two examples of the amazing food there.


Next I want to show you the amusement arcades on the Brighton pier. The amusement arcades play a major part in Brighton's economy, it providing a large amount of money to the local council each year. The Pier has many different arcades. You can see here some of the arcades. 

Now I want to give you an insight into the Royal Pavilion in Brighton. George, Prince of Wales had John Nash remodel his seaside retreat into the villa that we can see today. On the outside, Nash designed the palace following Indian and Islamic architecture, while the inside is heavily influenced by Chinese fashion. 

The inside of the Royal Pavilion was designed by two different people; by the well-known designer Frederick Crace and  by Robert Jones, who is a less known decorative painter.  

Here you can see an example of one of the amazing Asian paintings in the rooms of the pavilion.  In this painting you can see very well how complicated the Asian paintings were. But they didn’t only paint the walls. They also painted for example cupboards, chandeliers (bringe noch ein weiteres Beispiel) etc.  Here you can see a one of the elaborately painted chandeliers. The Chinese figures on the glass were painted in perfect detail.

Later in 1850, Queen Victoria sold the pleasure palace to the city of Brighton for £50,000.  She ordered to bring the furniture of the palace into other royal homes because she learned, that the furniture was meant to be destroyed.

Victoria returned many items in 1864. The rest of the interior stayed in Buckingham palace and Windsor Castle. During the First World War, the Pavilion was used as a hospital for Indian soldiers. As a result the inside were altered and partly damaged. 

Muslims were provided due space behind the royal Pavilion to bury their dead mates. They also said their prayers there because the Royal Pavilion looks a little bit like Mecca.
 
In 1920, a programme of restoration began and has been continued until today. Now, all furniture gets cleaned carefully in the palace. For example the pillows get cleaned like this: 
they put  the material (Das Material musst du erklaeren, das macht so keinen Sinn. Was fuer ein Material?) on the pillow and then they repeatedly vacuum the pillows from top to bottom. and this again and again. 

Let's now move to the last place that I want to show you today: 

This is the beach of Brighton. If you just want to relax and swim, the beach in Brighton is perfect for that. There are also some attractions on the beach. For example: the Ferris wheel which you can see on this picture. It's 50 meters high and has 36 capsules. There is also a Bungee Jumping Trampoline which you can see here.

This was my tour though Brighton. I hope you got a good impression of the sights that I showed you. 

Thanks for listening. 

Noch ein paar Kleinigkeiten  Well done!