Telephone Meeting (Text preparation)

[Viento]

Dear all,
 
I have been working for a big company since last year.
Last week I was commissioned to take over a weekly telephone meeting.
This meeting takes place to get several things (overtime, travel requests and purchasing requests) approved from the senior management. My task will be to sell these things to get an approval from the senior management.
Now I want to prepare myself by writing a simulated meeting.
 
 
 
The meeting often begins with the overtime section:
 
Hello its Mr. X 
Lets start with overtime.
We are going to have 1.200 hours in total for next week. (going to/ will or having??)
We are going to run (we are running??) 3 machines with 500 overtime hours due to the breaksdowns of last week and an increased volume in product X and Y at the weekend.  The 500 production overtime hours are divided into 100 hours for machine X, 300 for machine Y, and 100 hours for machine Z.
Furthermore 60 maintenance hours as production monitoring are requested to accompany the production.
Moreover we are requesting 400 hours for our product checking area due to an high absenteesim rate.
 
 
Section 2: Purchasing Notes
 
This week we have 1 purchasing notes.
Its about a repair of machine x. The cost amounts to 10.000 €.

The repair work is going to consist of a new machine body for 6.000 € and external labour cost of 4.000€. 
That repair is neccessary because the current machine body has flaws. If these flaws broaden the machine will be unrepairable.


I hope you can correct my bad english

[Sinatra85]

Hey, how are you?
To your two specific questions;

• (going to/ will or having??): Either way is fine. You can use going to and will for a prediction about the future.
• (we are running??): A prediction again: going to or will

To your text: I don’t correct comma mistakes, because it is a text for a telephone meeting.

Hello it's Mr. X 
Let's start with overtime.
We are going to have 1,200 hours in total for next week. 
We are going to run 3 machines with 500 overtime hours due to the breaksdowns of last week and an increased volume of product X and Y at the weekend.  The 500 production overtime hours are divided into 100 hours for machine X, 300 for machine Y, and 100 hours for machine Z.
Furthermore 60 hours of maintenance in the form of production monitoring are requested to accompany the production.

Moreover we are requesting 400 hours for our product checking area due to an high absenteeism rate/sickness rate. 
 

Section 2: Purchasing Notes
This week we have 1 purchasing (Check the pronunciation before the call. Many Germans pronounce it wrong) notes.
It's about a/the repair of machine x. The costs amounts to 10,000 €.
The (responsible person of the...)* repair work is going to consist of a new machine body for 6,000 € and external labour costs of 4,000€.

This repair is neccessary because the current machine body has flaws/bugs. If these flaws broaden/get worse, this will lead to an irrevocable damage  of the machine. 
 

I hope you can correct my bad english
Your English is very good! Don't say that!

*A department is actually not able to demand anything. But that's petty  

[Viento]

Hello,
 
thank you for your support.
It helped me a lot.
 
My next meeting will be a little bit harder :/
I hope you can help me again especially with the purchasing part.
 
4 PNs:
 
1.
-German:
Bei der ersten PN geht es um ein Ersatzteilpaket für die Maschine XYZ. Das Paket beinhaltet einen neuen Gurt und neue Lager. 
Der aktuell verbaute Gurt wurde notdürftig repariert kann aber wieder jederzeit kaputtgehen. In diesem Fall sollten wir ein Ersatzteilpaket auf Lager haben. Ansonsten riskieren wir einen Stillstand der Maschine
 
-English:
The first PN is about a spare part package for machine XYZ. The package contains a new belt and new bearings.
The current installed belt has been repaired provisionally. It can break again at any time. In this case we should have a spare part package in stock otherwise we risk a standstill of machine XYZ.
 
2.
-German:
Trockeneisreinigung und Wartungsarbeiten an der Linie XYZ. Es handelt sich hier um vorbeugende Wartung, Späneentfernung und Reinigung des Roboterkopfes. Dies wurde auch bereits im Frühmeeting mit Mr. XYZ besprochen.
 
-English:
The next one is about dry ice cleaning and preventive maintenance actions for line XYZ.
The work consists of preventive actions, chips removal and a purification procedure for robot head of xyz. This Pn has already been discussed within the early meeting with Mr. XYZ.
 
3.
-German:
Bei der dritten PN geht um „Engineering Support“ für die Monate November und Dezember. Er ist aktuell bei uns schon verantwortlich für Neuprojekte, Machbarkeits- Kapazitätsstudien, Detailplanungen und Implementierung für den Bereich XYZ und besonders innheralb dieses Bereiches für das Projekt XYZ.
 
-English:
Next one: Further engineering support for November and December. He is currently responsible for new pojects, feasibilty and capacity studies, detail planning and implementation within the XYZ area especially for project XYZ.
 
 
 
4.
-German:
Bei der letzten PN geht es um ein neues System für Einzugrollenwechsel um einen ergonomisch besseren Arbeitsplatz zu gewährleisten. Aktuell müssen die Mitarbeiter an der Maschine die Sachen noch mit hoher körperlicher Belastung anheben.
Die Arbeiten bestehen aus verschiedenen Teilen.
Zum einen werden gewisse Sachen wie Transport und Lagergestelle gekauft. Außerdem brauchen wir eine Einschienenkatze und einen Steuerschalter.
Zum anderen werden Arbeiten des Bereich XYZ benötigt. Hier geht es um den Bau einer Grundkonstruktion für einen Kettenzug und diverse Umbauarbeiten an der Absaugung der Maschine XYZ.
 
-English:
The last Pn is about a new system for the splicer to guarantee an ergonomically better workplace. Currently the employees at the machine have to  lift things with high physically activity.
The work consists of several parts.
On the one hand we have to buy certain things like transport racks and storage racks. Moreover we need a monorail trolley and a control switch.

On the other hand  work of area XYZ is required to build a basic construction for a chain hoist.



I hope you can help me. Especially to formulate it more elegant

Tank you very much!!!!

[Viento]

Its urgent. I have the meeting tomorrow

Pls help me!!!!

[Sinatra85]

Na, da kannst du ja von Glück reden, dass wir 9 Stunden Zeitverschiebung haben. Daher erreicht dich meine Verbesserung hoffentlich noch pünktlich. Wie letztens: Satzzeichen kontrolliere ich nicht.

Zu 1 habe ich keine Verbesserung. Gut gemacht!

2)
The next one/issue is about dry ice cleaning and preventive maintenance actions for line XYZ.

The work consists of preventive actions, chips removal and a purification procedure for the robot head of xyz. This PN has already been discussed within the early meeting with Mr. XYZ.


3)
Next one: Further The next topic deals with the engineering support for November and December. He (wenn du ein Pronomen nimmst, sollte klar sein, auf wen du dich beziehst. Ich sehe derzeit keinen Bezug) is currently responsible for new projects, feasibility and capacity (checke die Aussprache dieses Wortes. Es wird besonders schön betont) studies, detail planning and implementation within the XYZ area especially for project XYZ.

4) 
The last Pn is about a new system for the splicer to guarantee/to ensure an better ergonomically workplace. Currently the employees at the machine have to lift up things with high physically activities/efforts.

The work consists of several parts.

On the one hand we have to buy certain things like transport racks and storage racks. Moreover we need a monorail trolley and a control switch.
 
On the other hand,  work/assistance/help/support of area XYZ is required in order to build a basic construction for a chain hoist.


Na, das war doch ganz gut! Hab mehr Selbstvertrauen in dein Englisch!