E-mail Bewerbung und Passage aus meinem Lebenslauf

[Ekini]

Hallo zusammen,

ich bin gerade dabei mich für ein Praktikum zu bewerben. Ich habe mich bei diesem Unternehmen schon letztes Jahr beworben, aber leider aus zeitlichen Gründen eine Absage bekommen, so dass ich es jetzt nocheinmal versuchen möchte.
Leider nehme ich im Moment an keinem Englischkurs teil, so dass ich niemanden habe, dem ich die Bewerbung zur Korrektur geben könnte. Daher hoffe ich nun hier so schnell wie möglich Hilfe zu finden.
Außerdem habe ich meinen Lebenslauf einige Passagen dazu gefügt, die ebenfalls noch unkontroliert sind.

Hier erstmal die E-mail Bewerbung:

Dear //contact//,

since I first took notice of //company name// last year, I am regularly looking for news about the company. I was pleasantly surprised to learn the headquarters had moved to Munich. Since then I am determined to apply to you as soon as my studies are finished next spring. In the meantime I would love to get to know the company first had and hereby apply for an intern at your company again.

Since my application last year, I gained experience during an intern at //Firmenname deutsch// (//company name englisch//), where I accompanied the commissioning of a transportable power to gas pilot plant in Karlsruhe and later in Köping, Sweden. The plant is designed for methanation of synthesis gas via a nickel based catalyst.
In September I will begin my master’s thesis, probably at a laboratory plant for three phase methanation at Karlsruhe Institute of Technology.

I would be very grateful for the opportunity of an intern between 20th July and the beginning of September and would be delighted to either see the //project name// in Denmark or to work at the headquarters in Munich.

I look forward to hearing from you soon and hope the timing of my application is more fortunate than last year’s.

Please find attached my latest CV. If requested I gladly send you my Certificates.

Yours faithfully



In meinem Lebenslauf sind folgende Passagen neu dazugekommen:

Key Skills

- Experience in methanation process
- ...

(...)

Experience

Intern at DVGW-Forschungsstelle am Engler-Bunte-Institut des KIT, KIT Campus Nord / Köping Sweden
(Research Center of German Association for Gas and Water Trade at Engler-Bunte Institute of KIT)
Projekt: DemoSNG
During my intern I contributed to the conclusion and commissioning of a Power to Gas Pilot plant for methanation of biogenic synthesis gas and hydrogen. Furthermore I took part in the arrangements for the transport and the re-commissioning in Sweden.
My tasks:
- Monitoring the progress of assembly
- Coating the honeycomb reactors for methanation with catalyst
- Commissioning of the component as well as the overall system
- Organizing the transport to Köping in Sweden
- Securing the plant and it’s components for transport
- Re-commissioning in Sweden
- Authoring the Operation manual self-depended
- Inspection of Detail Engineering with the assistance of corresponding directives

(...)

Individual

Currently I’m doing a lot of sports. I play Tennis in a Club since 17 years, go climbing now and then and have recently begun to learn Taekwondo.
In my free time I read a lot, especially Fantasy Novels. I prefer to read in English to improve my language skills.



DVGW steht für Deutscher Verein des Gas- und Wasserfaches. Habe ich das richtig übersetzt?


Vielen Dank schon einmal für alle Anworten!!!

[Delfino]

E-mail Bewerbung:

Dear //contact//,

After I noticed your company last year, I have been closely following the news about [company name]. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that your headquarters has been moved to Munich. [Because/As] I have been determined to apply to you as soon as my studies are finished next spring. In the meantime I would love to get to know your company first hand and hereby apply again for an internship at [company name].

Since my application last year, I continued my studies of ... and gained (further) work experience during my internship at [Firmenname deutsch] ([English company name]). The team I worked in accompanied the commissioning of a transportable power-to-gas pilot plant in Karlsruhe and later on in Köping, Sweden. This plant is designed for the methanation of synthesis gas via a nickel based catalyst.
In September I will begin writing my master’s thesis, probably at a laboratory plant for three phase methanation at the Karlsruhe Institute of Technology (KIT).

I would be very grateful for the opportunity to be your intern between 20th July and the beginning of September. I would be delighted to either join the [project name] project in Denmark or to work at your headquarters in Munich.

Please find attached my latest CV. Upon request, I would be glad to send you more detailed information and my certificates.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

[signature]


In meinem Lebenslauf sind folgende Passagen neu dazugekommen:

Key Skills

- Experience in methanation process
- ...

(...)

Work Experience

Internship at the DVGW research center at the Engler-Bunte-Institut of the KIT, KIT Campus Nord / Köping Sweden
(Research Center of German Association for Gas and Water Trade at Engler-Bunte Institute of KIT)
Projekt: DemoSNG
During my internship I contributed to the conclusion and commissioning of a power-to-gas pilot plant for methanation of biogenic synthesis gas and hydrogen. Furthermore, I took part in the arrangements for the transport and the re-commissioning in Sweden.
My tasks and responsibilities included:
- Monitoring the progress of assembly
- Coating the honeycomb reactors for methanation with catalyst
- Commissioning of the component as well as the overall system
- Organizing the transport to Köping in Sweden
- Securing the plant and its components for transport
- Re-commissioning in Sweden
- iIndependently authoring the operation manual
- Inspection of Detail Engineering with the assistance of corresponding directives

(...)

Further activities

I have been active [all/most of] my life. For the last 17 years now I have been playing tennis regularly.
From time to time I also go climbing, and recently I begun to learn taekwondo. In my remaining free time
I enjoy reading novels in English.

DVGW steht für Deutscher Verein des Gas- und Wasserfaches. Habe ich das richtig übersetzt? k.A.

Further activities are usually not mentioned in full sentences unless you can relate them to specific transferable skills.
May I recommend you do not point out the need to improve your language skills - rather the opposite...

At the begining Karlsruhe Institue of Technology (KIT) should be mentioned to explain the abbreviation...

intern = person doing an internship

Many English words are not capitalised.
The English prefer to use shorter and less complex sentences.


There are a lot of examples and guides/tutorials online.
See also
(career service websites from other universities)

CV and Application Guide
http://portal.solent.ac.uk/careers/get- ... guide.aspx

[Ekini]

Hallo Delfino,

Many thanks for your comments. They helped me a lot. It sounds much more fluent now.
Of course the abbreviation of KIT is mentioned earlier in the CV but I was not allowed to post the whole CV. It would have been too long and it already had been corrected by my English teacher last year. But thanks to your comment about the meaning of 'intern' I found a few more mistakes, which he obviously hadn't noticed.
So I really thank you a lot!!!