Speech Korrektur lesen und ggf. verbessern?

[thatsit111]

Ist jmd. besonders gut in Englisch und würde meine Speech Korrektur lesen. Danke im Voraus


Ladies and Gentlemen, Teacher, Parents and Students, welcome to my talk.


Meanwhile the year here in America I experienced a lot of new things. But one of the bad things is that few month ago I saw some students offended a boy in their age and made fun about his origins. This boy looked really helpless and didn't know how to handle such a situation. What does this teach us ? That he needed to get taught what he had to do in moments like this. What I am basically saying is that for this reason parents should prepare their children on racism. Due to I want to tell you why this is important.


Let me turn now to my arguments.
First of all by the preparation, our children will learn therefore how they have to handle in situations like that. They should not smile in the face of adversity and allow somebody to get them down.
For example if they are confronted with racism they would know that they should not get involved in it and need to look for help. Parents can warn their children that they need to devote themselves to a teacher or to the parents.


The next important argument is that by preparing children on racism parents can strengthen them so that they can appear psychically to it. By that racism, however, would not affect them too much.
For instance if they are offended, they will already have built up strength and can fight against it and possibly overcome it better.


Finally I would like to point out that parents could teach their children arguments, which they can use to prove to the racist how wrong it is to degrade somebody. Because only with influential arguments the racist will notice his bad attitude and what he cause by being prejudice.
For example the argument that every human is equal and that nobody has the right to discriminate against another person. Neither on account of his religion. Neither on account of his appearance and neither on account of his origins.


To conclude the point that I would like to make is that by preparing our children on racism they can hopefully overcome it better than without. I believe that if you want a child with a strong personality and a child, who knows how to manage racism than you should force to put this idea in place.


Thank you!

[Delfino]

Ist jmd. besonders gut in Englisch und würde meine Rede Korrektur lesen. Danke im Voraus

Ladies and gentlemen, teacher, parents and fellow students,
welcome to my talk about my time here in Alabama.

During my year here in America I enjoyed a lot of new things.

Unfortunately, I also witnessed racism a few month ago
when a group of students offended a boy of the same age by making fun of his origin.
What did you do? Why didn't you help him?

This boy looked really helpless (He was helpless because nobody helped.)
and didn't know how to handle such a situation. What does this teach us?
And you also did not know what to do, right?

May I suggest you reconsider the message of your speech.
What are you actually aiming for?

- pointing out the difficulties of minorities and
- their need to be trained in the selection and application
of an appropriate non-violent defence option
- letting everyone know that you did not help either, but at least you regret it
- advise / describe some alternative ways forward
- encourage people to take action and not look away
- ...

- although it was only one incident in a couple of months - it is one to many...


Remember to end your speech on a positive note.
e.g. you hope they can continue their good stuff
and improve in this area...

[thatsit111]

Vielen Dank für deine Antwort und sehr guten Hilfe.
Im Grunde genommen soll meine Aussage sein: Racism is still with us. But it's our task to prepare our children on what they have to meet.
Also das am Anfang soll bloß die Hilflosigkeit des kleinen Jungens darstellen.
Ich weiß auch nicht so recht was ich am Ende noch schreiben soll. Ich soll ja darauf hoffen, dass meine Zuhörer von meinen Argumenten überzeugt sich und meine Idee auch in Kraft setzen. Könntest du jetzt vllt. nochmal rüber schauen und schauen wo die Fehler sind? Danke:|

Ladies and gentlemen, teacher, parents and fellow students, welcome to my talk about the preparation on racism.


During my year here in America I enjoyed a lot of new things. Unfortunately, I also witnessed racisma few month ago.When a group ofstudents offended a boyof the sameageby makingfun of his origin.This boy was really helpless, because he stood alone there and didn't know how to handle such a situation. When I saw this I went to the boys and told them how wrong it is to be racism and they fortunately stopped. But what does the behavior of this boy this teach us ? That he needed to get taught what he had to do in moments like this. What I am basically saying is that for this reason parents should prepare their children on racism. Due to I want to tell you why this is important.


Let me turn now to my arguments.
First of all by the preparation, our children will learn therefore how they have to handle in situations like that. They should not smile in the face of adversity and allow somebody to get them down.
For example if they are confronted with racism they would know that they should not get involved in it and need to look for help. Parents can warn their children that they need to devote themselves to a teacher or to the parents.


The next important argument is that by preparing children on racism parents can strengthen them so that they can appear psychically to it. By that racism, however, would not affect them too much.
For instance if they are offended, they will already have built up strength and can fight against it and possibly overcome it better.


Finally I would like to point out that parents could teach their children arguments, which they can use to prove to the racist how wrong it is to degrade somebody. Because only with influential arguments the racist will notice his bad attitude and what he cause by being prejudice.
For example the argument that every human is equal and that nobody has the right to discriminate against another person. Neither on account of his religion. Neither on account of his appearance and neither on account of his origins.


To conclude the point that I would like to make is that by preparing our children on racism they can hopefully overcome it better than without. I believe that if you want a child with a strong personality and a child, who knows how to manage racism than you should force to put this idea in place.


Thank you!