So Englisch-Experten, ihr seid wieder gefragt, Englisch-Essa

[nadosa]

Hallo,
wir schreiben am Montag eine Englisch-Arbeit, Hauptthema: Our changing planet. Habe mich mal an einem Essay versucht, irgendwas muss man ja lernen für Englisch Bitte um Kontrolle!
One of the biggest problem facing the world and many scientists are concerned about is global warming. The production of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases changes the environment. It’s having a heating effect on the atmosphere, and the consequences couldn’t be only dangerous for human life, for our vegetation and animals too. This leads us to an important source of the world’s destroying, the disforestation of the rainforest. These forests are very necessary to regulate our climate. It’s not only the disforestation caused by human being, the overpopulation and the resulting destruction of entire ecosystems are the greatest threats to biodiversity. If we look at all the problems caused by the climate change, we’ll maybe realize to change something finally. Such as rising sea levels, which could result in the flooding of low lying coastal areas and cities, for example Egypt, the Netherlands, and Bengladesh, some countries might even disappear completely! Another problem caused by global warming, where you can clearly see the climate change, are changes in weather patterns, with the result that many areas of the world are experiencing increased hurricanes, floods, and other unusual weather. A third problem associated with global warming is the effect on animals, the species extinction. Many rare species will become extinct, especially from the disforestation of the rainforest. In addition, fish populations could be affected, while some insects which spread disease might become more common.
Well, there are several things we can do to solve the problem of global warming, such as to stop producing CO2 by switching from oil, coal and gas to renewable energy. Furthermore, we should switch to local traffic, going by bike and avoid taking the plane. Another solution is to plant more trees.They absorb carbon dioxide and don’t produce greenhouse gases. A third solution is to use less energy and to recycle more products. If we do that we will produce less CO2, because generating electricity is one of the main sources of carbon dioxide.
To sum up, I can say that the people should wake up and realize what we already did to the world. I think if we make small changes now, we can avoid huge environmental changes in the future, therefore, scientists, governments and individuals must work together to overcome this threat.
Vielen Dank an diejenigen, die sich das antun!
LG Philipp

[Flabbergasted]

One of the biggest problem facing the world and many scientists are concerned about is global warming.

One of the biggest problems facing/that faces the world and concerning/concerns many scientists is global warming.

The production of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases changes the environment.

The emission [produziert wird das CO2 ja nicht im wirklichen Sinne, es ist vielmehr ein Abfallprodukt] of carbon dioxide and ………

It’s having a heating effect on the atmosphere, and the consequences couldn’t be only dangerous for human life, for our vegetation and animals too.

It has [Gerundium ist sicherlich falsch in diesem Kontext, auch wenn ich das jetzt nicht grammatikalisch erklären kann] ……… and the consequences aren't only dangerous for human life, but also for the [»vegetierst« Du? ] vegetation and animals too.

This leads us to an important source of the world’s destroying, the disforestation of the rainforest.

This leads us to a key factor of/main cause for the world's destruction/destruction of the world [ich habe das jetzt nicht stilistisch verbessert; von »Weltzerstörung« zu reden ist natürlich angebracht, allerdings nicht in einem solchen Text, der, wenn er wertet, dies auf sachlicher Ebene tun sollte bzw. zumindest eine vorangehende Begründung für die Wertung liefern sollte]: the deforestation of rainforests. [eine meiner wichtigsten Quellen, wenn ich fremdsprachige Formulierungen nachsuche, ist Linguee; da kannst Du nach Kontexten Begriffe suchen, offenbar ist deforestation of rainforests geläufiger]

These forests are very necessary to regulate our climate.

These forests are necessary/vital [übersetz das mal ins Deutsche, sehr notwendig würden wir auch nicht sagen; vital ist ein sehr schöner und passender Ausdruck] to regulate ………

If we look at all the problems caused by the climate change, we’ll maybe realize to change something finally.

If we (take a) look at/consider [letzteres ist formaler] all the problems, caused by (the) climate change, we will [lieber ausschreiben, Lehrern könnte das sauer aufstoßen, es ist eher umgangssprachlich] maybe/perhaps realize/recognize/apprehend/acknowledge the urgent need to finally [Satzbau] change something (for the better).

[quote="nadosa"]Such as rising sea levels, which could result in the flooding of low lying coastal areas and cities, for example Egypt, the Netherlands, and Bengladesh, some countries might even disappear completely! Another problem caused by global warming, where you can clearly see the climate change, are changes in weather patterns, with the result that many areas of the world are experiencing increased hurricanes, floods, and other unusual weather. A third problem associated with global warming is the effect on animals, the species extinction. Many rare species will become extinct, especially from the disforestation of the rainforest. In addition, fish populations could be affected, while some insects which spread disease might become more common.
Well, there are several things we can do to solve the problem of global warming, such as to stop producing CO2 by switching from oil, coal and gas to renewable energy. Furthermore, we should switch to local traffic, going by bike and avoid taking the plane. Another solution is to plant more trees.They absorb carbon dioxide and don’t produce greenhouse gases. A third solution is to use less energy and to recycle more products. If we do that we will produce less CO2, because generating electricity is one of the main sources of carbon dioxide.
To sum up, I can say that the people should wake up and realize what we already did to the world. I think if we make small changes now, we can avoid huge environmental changes in the future, therefore, scientists, governments and individuals must work together to overcome this threat..[/quote]
Der Rest ist in Ordnung.

Vokabel-Tipp: to cut emissions – (CO2-)Emissionen verringern ………… was die internationale Klimapolitik angeht, guck Dir bitte diesen kurzen Clip an, dann weißt Du ungefähr, wo wir stehen → YouTube – » The History of Climate Change Negotiations in 83 seconds«