Letter of Motivation Auslandssemester ISEP

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Guten Tag!

Ich bin gerade dabei meine Bewerbung für ein Auslandssemester im Wintersemester 2015/16 über ISEP in den USA fertig zu stellen und würde mich über Feedback zu meinem Motivationsschreiben freuen!

X University = meine Uni
Y University = Gastuni


Dear Sir or Madam

My name is .. and I am currently in my third semester of studying Business Informatics at the X University. Prior to that I studied Computer Science for two semesters, also at the University in X. Hereby I would like to express my strong wish for participating in the International Student Exchange Program in the winter term 2015.

The idea of studying a year or semester abroad has not left my mind after I first learned about the possibility at the international week (Anm.: Informationsveranstalung auf meiner Uni) in the winter term 2012. For me personally, doing an exchange semester is an invaluable opportunity to develop my personality, learn about different cultures and learning to deal with differences. I am convinced that the deeper understanding of American culture I would gain from this exchange semester will be of incalculable value when it comes to applying in international companies.

Another decisive reason for applying to an American university is that I want to bring my English to a higher level. Although I already have a good command of the English language I am certain that an exchange semester will be the perfect prearrangement for a Master’s degree in Pervasive Computing or Networks and Security at the X University which are held in English entirely.

I chose to apply for Y University with highest priority because in my opinion it has a promising course offer in the fields of computer science generally and more particularly in Computer Networks. Also YYY is known for its small class sizes and a wide range of cultural and personal development opportunities which were also relevant factors in my decision. Furthermore I believe the location in an area with a population of about 135,000 offers urban benefits without the drawbacks of a megacity. Last but not least I am a big fan of different outdoor sports and Y-Town is in the center of a wide choice of outdoor recreation opportunities.

It would be my pleasure to represent the X University at the Y University during the winter term 2015. I consider my semester abroad not only a big chance to enhance my professional knowledge, but also to expand my abilities in intercultural fields and to further improve my command of the English language. I look forward to study at YYY already and I would be glad to be given the chance of a challenging and exciting semester abroad. Thus, I would highly appreciate the opportunity to be invited for a personal interview and convince you of my suitability for this program.

Sincerely,


Ich bin mir bei bestimmten Formulierungen nicht ganz sicher ob die grammatikalisch korrekt sind, und würd mich über eine zweite Meinung freuen

[Delfino]

Guten Tag!

Ich bin gerade dabei meine Bewerbung für ein Auslandssemester im Wintersemester 2015/16
über ISEP in den USA fertigzustellen und würde mich über Feedback zu meinem Motivationsschreiben freuen!

X University = meine Uni
Y University = Gastuni


Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is ..., and currently, I am in my third semester of studying Business Informatics at the X University.
Previously, I studied Computer Science for two terms at the University in X.
Hereby, I would like to express my strong interest to participate in the International Student Exchange Program in the winter term 2015.

The idea of studying at least one semester or even a year abroad has not left my mind after I first learned about this possibility at the International Week in 2012.
For me personally, studying abroad is an invaluable opportunity to develop my personality, connect with a different culture and learn to deal with differences.
I am also looking forward to gaining a deeper understanding of American culture which will be interesting and of value when I am going to apply at international companies.

Although I already have a good command of the English language I am certain that studying at an American university will be an ideal opportunity to further improve my English.
This will be a perfect preparation for my plan to gain a Master’s degree in Pervasive Computing or Networks and Security at the X University which are taught entirely in English.

Y University is my first choice, because in my opinion, you offer a promising range of courses in the field of computer science and particularly in computer networks.
In addition, Y University is known for its small class sizes and a wide range of cultural and personal development opportunities which were also relevant factors in my decision.
Furthermore, it's location in an area with a population of about 135,000 offers urban benefits without the drawbacks of a megacity.
Last but not least I am a big fan of various outdoor sports and Y-Town is in the center of a wide choice of outdoor recreation opportunities.

*It would be my pleasure to represent the X University at the Y University during the winter term 2015.*

I consider my time abroad not only a big chance to enhance my professional knowledge, but also to expand my intercultural competence and to further improve my command of the English language. (ok, a summary)
Already, I am looking forward to study at YYY, and I would be glad to be given the chance of a challenging and exciting semester abroad.
Therefore, I would highly appreciate the opportunity to be invited for a personal interview and convince you of my suitability for this program.

Sincerely,

Ich bin mir bei bestimmten Formulierungen nicht ganz sicher ob die grammatikalisch korrekt sind, und würde mich über eine zweite Meinung freuen

(Anm.: Informationsveranstaltung an meiner Uni)
Why didn't you know about it before your started your studies at X?

Anyway, you are using pretty long and complex sentences
while shorter ones are prefered in English speaking countries.

Nearly all of your sentences have a focus on your thoughts during the application process (your gains),
but I would suggest to rephrase at least some to describe what you can offer the students at Y.*
See other motivational letters here on the forum and online.

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Thanks for your reply!

Why I didn't know about the opportunity to take a semester abroad? Well in fact i did know that, but i wanted to express that the opportunity became real for me when I heard from it at the fair.

Yes is know...i like long sentences in German Maybe I can shorten them a bit by dividing them, or leaving out somethin unneccesery. Is there one sentence which comes to your mind? Or was this just generally speaking?

It's a very good idea to focus at the students at Y, i will rewrite a paragraph.

I have a question regarding the 4th paragraph: "Furthermore, it's location in an area..." Should be "its", shouldn't it?

[Delfino]

Why didn't I know about the opportunity to take a semester abroad?
Well, in fact I did know it, but I wanted to express that the opportunity became real for me when I heard about it at the fair.

Yes, I know... I like long sentences in German

Maybe I can shorten them a bit by dividing them, or leaving out something unneccesery.
Is there one sentence which comes to your mind? Or was this just generally speaking?
Most are rather long... I started each sentence in a new line, so you can easily compare them.

It's a very good idea to focus on the students at Y, I will rewrite a paragraph.

I have a question regarding the 4th paragraph:
"Furthermore, its location in an area..."
Should be "its", shouldn't it? Yes, of course.

The idea of studying at least one semester abroad has not left my mind since I first learned about this possibility at the International Week in 2012.

This will be a perfect preparation for my plan to gain a Master’s degree in Pervasive Computing or Networks and Security as both courses are taught entirely in English at the X University.

In addition, Y University is known for its small class sizes and a wide range of cultural and personal development opportunities.