I need your help!

Sätze und kurze Texte, die korrigiert wurden
Cornel

I need your help!

Beitrag von Cornel »

Guten Tag,

könnte jemand von euch so nett sein und mir diesen Text über Martin Luther King und die Menschenrechtsbewegung anschauen und eventuell auch korrigieren? Ich wäre euch echt dankbar! :)

A summary about Martin Luther King and the Civil Rights Movement
Nowadays a lot of black people think that they have a really hard life, because they are often degraded in the society because of their complexion. Indeed is the life of a black human from time to time really unpleasant, because they are often confronted with prejudices. Such a thinking of the society is also the cause why black people often have to live in worse surroundings, have no equal possibilites like the white people in the everyday, in the working world and in the school or are more times convicted for crimes. A lot of human rights activists think that black people are based on these facts in a very unpleasant situation. But they often forget the position of the black population, which many decades earlier existed. In comparison with the actual living conditions, it was the pure horror for them, because they were in every part of their life segregated from the white people. There were separate drinking fountains, bus seats, lunch counters and separate schools for them. Everywhere were black people were not desirable, was written "Whites only". The one man, who achieved so many improvements in the life of the black people, was Martin Luther King. He was responsible for many marches where he fought with a lot of people for more rights, like the full votings and political rights. This target was the cause for a lot of marches, like the Selma-Montgomery march, which contained three marches and the "Bloody Sunday", which ended with a massacre. At the end of the Selma-Montgomery march, Martin Luther King achieved it to secure the Votings Rights act for the black population. These marches make a lot sacrifices, because a lot of people died during these campaigns. The life of Martin Luther King ran out in a tragical way on the 4th April 1968 in Memphis. He was shot by an white racist, during he stood on the balcony at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis. Many people think that King would be really proudly about the fact, that people like Barrack Obama, the president of the USA, or Condoleeza Rice, the secretary of state, are black people. But he would be also dissappointed if he know about the fact, in which way other thousands of black people have to live to the present day.
Vielen Dank schon mal im Voraus für eure Hilfe!
Ich wünsche euch allen noch einen schönen Tag!
Cornel

Cornel

Re: I need your help!

Beitrag von Cornel »

Hallo Leute,

möchte mir den echt keiner helfen? :( Falls der Text für euch zu lang sein sollte, dann bitte Bescheid sagen. Ich kann selbstverständlich auch eine kürzere Version von diesem Text einstellen. Aber BITTE hilft mir, ich bin nämlich auf eure Hilfe angewiesen, da ich bald eine Prüfung in Englisch haben werde! DANKE!

Wünsche euch allen noch ein schönes Wochenende!

Cornel

Keswick (Contributor)

Re: I need your help!

Beitrag von Keswick (Contributor) »

Hallo Cornel,
Ich nehme an, dass dein Text nicht korrigiert wurde, weil einige Saetze aus Online-Uebersetzern stammen und damit gegen die Forenregeln Punkt 3 verstossen. Hier ein paar Beispiele:1. A lot of human rights activists think that black people are based on these facts in a very unpleasant situation.2. But they often forget the position of the black population, which many decades earlier existed.Schreib deinen Text dahingehen doch bitte noch um, dann schau ich ihn mir gerne an. Danke.

Cornel

Re: I need your help!

Beitrag von Cornel »

Hallo Keswick,

danke für deine Antwort! Einige Sätze stammen aus Online-Übersetzer? Dann muss das wohl ein völliger Zufall sein, weil ich ich meine Texte immer selbstständig verfasse. Anders würde es ja auch keinen Sinn beim Lernen machen ;) Wo kann ich eigentlich nachsehen, ob die Sätze nun auch so in Online-Übersetzer zu finden sind?

LG.
Cornel

Keswick (Contributor)

Re: I need your help!

Beitrag von Keswick (Contributor) »

Nachsehen kann man das idR nicht, aber eine Rueckuebersetzung macht es zu 90% deutlich, denn wenn Online-Uebersetzer etwas nicht koennen, dann ist es 100% richtige Satzstellung. Das heisst deutsche Satzstellung bleibt zu 90% deutsche Satzstellung.

Zum Beispiel der deutsche Satz "Viele Menschenrechtler denken, schwarze sind Menschen auf diesen Fakten basieren in einer unangenehmen Situation" oben uebersetzt als "A lot of human rights activists think that black people are based on these facts in a very unpleasant situation" = eindeutig deutsche Satzstellung und exakt was einer der groessten Online-Uebersetzer ausgespuckt hat: A lot of human rights activists think that black people are based on these facts in a very unpleasant situation.

In einer solchen Situation ist es natuerlich naheliegend, dass der Fragesteller einen (oder eine Mischung von) Online-Uebersetzern verwendet hat. Leider kommt das hier allzu haeufig vor, und es wird gehofft, dass wir es nicht merken :shock: .. aber trotz unseres Alters sind wir nicht von gestern. :mrgreen:

Gruss
Keswick

Cornel

Re: I need your help!

Beitrag von Cornel »

Jetzt weiß ich, wo der Haken ist. Also muss ich definitiv noch an meinem Satzbau arbeiten wie es scheint.
Ich selbst benutze bei diesen Texten nämlich keine Online-Translater, weil ich das Verfassen dieser Texte gleichzeitig als Übung für meine schriftliche Reifeprüfung betrachte und es für mich keinen Sinn macht, sich in solchen Fällen mit einem Online-Übersetzer auszuhelfen. So was kann man eventuell bei gewöhnlichen Hausaufgaben machen, aber nicht bei der Vorbereitung auf eine Reifeprüfung ;)

Könnte mir bitte noch jemand diesen kurzen Text ansehen, wo ich über meine Meinung und die eigenen Erfahrungen zu diesem Thema geschrieben habe? Bei der zweiten Hälfte hat der Online Translater definitiv Blödsinn ausgespuckt, also sollte es schon passen :)

My opinion is that Luther´s fight against dicrimination was the right decision because everybody should have the right for a peaceful life, independent of his religion, skin colour and origin. I also made some experience with discrimination because I have foreign roots too, what is the reason for the fact that a lot of people often throw obstacles in my everyday life.
Danke für die Hilfe!
LG.
Cornel

Keswick (Contributor)

Re: I need your help!

Beitrag von Keswick (Contributor) »

Cornel hat geschrieben: My opinion is that Luther´s fight against discrimination was the right decision because everybody should have the right for a peaceful life, independent of his religion, skin colour and origin. I also had some experience with discrimination because I have foreign roots too, which is the reason why a lot of people often throw obstacles in my everyday life.

Cornel

Re: I need your help!

Beitrag von Cornel »

Vielen Dank für die rasche Korrektur, Keswick! :)

LG.
Cornel

Cornel

Re: I need your help!

Beitrag von Cornel »

Hallo, ich bin es wieder ;)

Könnte sich jemand bitte noch diesen Text ansehen :) Danke!

The most people, who always buy the latest high-tech gadgetry and the most fashionable clothes try to persuade themselves that these products are made by very clever robot arms but this is not the truth. In reality they are produced every day in the hands of people, who have to manufacture these goods in very bad working conditions for a pittance. The fact that workers even have to work overtime without extra salary, to be shut or locked sometimes in the factory and to have horrific living conditions are causes for depressions and suicide cases. The living conditions are really bad because the workers can only sleep a few hours, cheek by jowl, in distasteful facilities. Another thing is the reportedly social responsibility of the companies in which believe the most of customers. A Former US Labor Secretary means that this talk is "meaningful as cotton candy" and the people should not believe in such fairy stories. He hold the opinion that our only chance to change such situations is the effort, to go through a sort of consumerist catechism and try to find answers to questions like "Who made this product?", "Why did they make it?" and "Why do I need it?". He thinks that the situation will be better if we all go back to such a behavior. In other ways we will be always hypocrites because we buy products whose genesis we do not know or ignore.
Ich wünsche euch allen noch ein schönes Wochenende!
LG.
Cornel

Cornel

Re: I need your help!

Beitrag von Cornel »

Kann mir jemand BITTE den Text ansehen? Brauche ihn nämlich unbedingt, da ich diese Woche meine Prüfung haben werde :roll:

Keswick (Contributor)

Re: I need your help!

Beitrag von Keswick (Contributor) »

Cornel hat geschrieben:Hallo, ich bin es wieder ;)

Könnte sich jemand bitte noch diesen Text ansehen :) Danke!

The Most people, who always buy the latest high-tech gadgets and the most fashionable clothes try to convince themselves that these products are made by very clever robot arms but this is not the truth. In reality they are produced every day by the hands of people, who have to manufacture these goods in very bad working conditions for a pittance. The fact is that workers even have to work overtime without additional pay, that they sometimes end up being locked into the factory and that they have to live in horrific living conditions. All this can cause depression and suicide cases. The living conditions are really bad because the workers can only sleep for a few hours, in close proximity to their fellow workers, in disgraceful facilities. Another thing is the reportedly social responsibility of the companies in which believe the most of customers (bitte ueberarbeiten, online translator). A Former US Labor Secretary said that this talk is "as meaningful as cotton candy" and that the people should not believe in such fairy stories. He holds the opinion that our only chance to change such situations is the effort, to go through a sort of consumerist catechism in order to try to find answers to questions like "Who made this product?", "Why did they make it?" and "Why do I need it?". He thinks that the situation will improve if we all went back to such a behavior. If we didn't, we'd all be hypocrites because we buy products whose production we do not know or ignore.

Cornel

Re: I need your help!

Beitrag von Cornel »

Danke wieder mal für deine Antwort, Keswick!

Habe den besagten Satz noch einmal umgebaut.

Hoffe, dass das so jetzt passt:
It is also of big importance that most customers should not believe in the reportedly social responsibility of the companies.
Könnte mir jemand vielleicht noch die zwei Absätze ansehen? DANKE!
1.) I have a really critical mind about the food, which is produced by GM Technology because I think that such food is not very good for our health. It is also very unpleasant for me that even experts can nothing report about its aftermaths. Because of this opinion I prefer it more to eat bio-products. Many people think that such a food is not a good solution because it is really expensive but I think it is better to spend more money for the food and to live according to the motto "eat half".

2.)I always have to struggle with stress, if I have to write a school exam, to argue with my neighbours and at work. My ways to get out of stress situations is always to go out with my dog for a long walk because then I can totally relax, to speak with a trusted person about the reason of the stress or to read an interesting book.
Hoffe, dass mein Satzbau auch bei den nächsten Aufsätzen okay ist! Ich habe mich extra bemüht. Und vielen Dank für deine bisherige Hilfe, Keswick!


LG.
Cornel

Keswick (Contributor)

Re: I need your help!

Beitrag von Keswick (Contributor) »

Cornel hat geschrieben:Danke wieder mal für deine Antwort, Keswick!

Habe den besagten Satz noch einmal umgebaut.

Hoffe, dass das so jetzt passt:
It is also of big importance that most customers do not believe in the reportedly social responsibility of the companies.
Könnte mir jemand vielleicht noch die zwei Absätze ansehen? DANKE!
1.) I have a really critical mind about the food, which is produced by GM Technology because I think that such food is not very good for our health. It is also very unpleasant for me that even experts can nothing report about its aftermaths. Because of this opinion I prefer it more to eat bio-products. Many people think that such a food is not a good solution because it is really expensive but I think it is better to spend more money on this kind of food and to live according to the motto "only eat half the amount".
-- Siehe fett hervorgehoben: online translator? Die Satzstellung von "can nothing report" weist darauf hin, ebenso der gesamte naechste Satz. Bitte nochmal ueberarbeiten.

2.)I always have to struggle with stress, when I have to write a school exam, when I argue with my neighbours and when at work. My ways to get out of stress situations is always to go for a long walk out with my dog for a long walk because then I can totally relax. Something that also helps me it speaking to a trusted person about the causes of the stress or to read an interesting book.
Hoffe, dass mein Satzbau auch bei den nächsten Aufsätzen okay ist! Ich habe mich extra bemüht.

Und vielen Dank für deine bisherige Hilfe, Keswick! -- kein Problem :wink:


LG.
Cornel

Cornel

Re: I need your help!

Beitrag von Cornel »

It is also very unpleasant for me that even experts cannot report something about its aftermaths. Because of this opinion I prefer to eat more bio-products.

Das sollte wohl so richtig sein, habe jetzt extra noch mal dafür in meinem Grammatik-Buch nachgeschlagen ;)Einen Online-Translator benutze ich auf keinen Fall, das würde mir für meine Vorbereitungen zur Prüfung nämlich gar nichts bringen.
Wäre super, wenn sich jemand von euch noch diese einzelnen Sätze ansehen könnte. Danke!
Finally it is also very important to say that our economy is the biggest loser of the Globalization because the companies send more and more orders abroad and the regional people have fewer opportunities to earn money. However the Globalization has also a lot of other advantages for us.
The desire to become the richest nation and to spread Christianity were also important points for them.
You can also reduce stress situations if you shrink stressors and cut unnecessary tasks
In such situations it is also very important to be carefully what you eat and drink.
The life of Martin Luther King ended in a tragical way on the 4th April 1968 in Memphis
In all areas of their life people have to struggle with stress situations.

LG.
Cornel


Keswick (Contributor)

Re: I need your help!

Beitrag von Keswick (Contributor) »

Cornel hat geschrieben:It is also very unpleasant for me to know that even experts cannot report anything about its aftermaths. Because of this opinion I prefer to eat more bio products.

Das sollte wohl so richtig sein, habe jetzt extra noch mal dafür in meinem Grammatik-Buch nachgeschlagen ;)Einen Online-Translator benutze ich auf keinen Fall, das würde mir für meine Vorbereitungen zur Prüfung nämlich gar nichts bringen.
Wäre super, wenn sich jemand von euch noch diese einzelnen Sätze ansehen könnte. Danke!
Finally it is also very important to say that our economy is the biggest loser in the globalization because the companies send more and more orders abroad and the regional businesses have fewer opportunities to earn money. However the globalization has also a lot of other advantages for us.
Ich gehe jetzt mal davon aus, dass die folgenden Saetze in keinem Sinnzusammenhang stehen?The desire to become the richest nation and to spread Christianity were also important points for them.
You can also reduce stressful situations by limiting stressors and cut out unnecessary tasks
In such situations it is also very important to watch what you eat and drink.
The life of Martin Luther King ended tragically in Memphis on April 4, 1968
In all areas of their life people have to struggle with stressful situations.

LG.
Cornel